𝖠𝗇𝖺𝗑𝗂𝗉𝗁𝗂𝗅𝗂𝖺 ☽

Chapter 30: Tobias Erin Rogers

December 8th, 2015. 5:30 pm.

I sat on my bed with my phone in hand. Ceiling fan on the highest setting, leaving my legs to become cold as I had a long sleeved shirt on. The notifications seemed to slow down as I stopped getting as much as I did get before the last two weeks went by without a trace of my existence. I clicked on my contacts to find Hazel's. A nervous sigh escaped my lips before I clicked on the call button and put her on speaker.

The phone rang two times before she answered it in a panic. "Y/n?! Where the fuck have you been?! I've tried going to your house to see that no one was there, I've been texting you and calling you but you never fucking picked up! What the fuck!" A small sniffle came out of me, causing her voice to trail off. "I'm sorry, I...I had to get my thoughts sorted out...and I had to process what I've been told on Monday."

"What happened? Did you...find out about him?" My eyes started to tear up again, and I felt all alone in my cold bedroom. It's been a while since I've felt empty in this house. Alex is gone, and preferably won't ever come back. My mom is at work, and I don't want to see Toby right now after what Brian and Tim told me. "Y-Yeah," my voice cracked as I started. "I know everything. And....I know that he's also connected with the operator, or whatever that entity is." Hazel sighed, feeling upset for me.
"I also now know that my brother is alive, and that he's been alive for a while now. His excuse is that he didn't want to drag me into his shit, but I just think that he is afraid of what I think of him and what I could say to him after all of these years he's been gone. He's still that idiotic kid I knew so long ago." Hazel chuckled, but the line went silent for a few moments. Neither one of us knew what to say anymore as she was just relieved to hear my voice after so long.

"Why did you leave your house? What happened?" I scoffed as the memories flooded through my head.
"Alex attacked both me and my mother after a conflict with his family. We decided to leave and stay in a hotel in case he ever came back after storming out of the house."

"WHAT?! Please tell me you went to the police!"

"Don't worry. My mom did, but I had serious bruising and she didn't want me to be in school and have everyone question me about the injuries I obtained through defending her."

"Goddamn, Y/n. You're like a superhero. You never let anyone you love get hurt...even if the offender is bigger than you." I rolled my eyes, wiping my tears away as her stupid comment got me to laugh again.

"I don't know what to do Hazel. I love Toby, but he's killed people. I've never seen that side of him before...all I've seen has been the lover boy version of him. It's so hard to be angry at him because of the fact that his first kill was his abusive father. And it drove him insane." Hazel didn't know what to say. My situation is truly unique to us...none of our friends have ever been faced with a dangerous situation like this before. "I know that you love him, and he loves you. But he's not safe to be around. And I don't want you to be anywhere near him if you can help it."

I sighed and looked around my room. The orange light shone through my windows as the sun was starting to set now. What a pity.
———————————————
December 8th, 1:30 am.

I sat down on the chair we had out on the patio. I had snuck outside after seeing Toby run out of the woods through the window I had in my room. He looked at me confused and my facial expression didn't melt seeing him in front of me this time. It was instead cautious, and wary. It hurt to want to reach out to him and wrap my arms around his body, but I couldn't.

"What...what's wrong? Did I do something-g?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in to calm down.

"Were you ever going to complete your mission when you first met me?" His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed at me, not expecting those words to fall out of my lips. These lips he has kissed many times. "W-What are you....you talking about? What mission?" His neck twitched to the side, taking a step closer to me. The boy looked down at my knee flinching. If I said I wasn't scared right now, I would be a liar. I was confronting him about something he was never going to bother to tell me. "Don't act like I'm fucking stupid. That man in the hoodie that attacked you the other day, that was my brother Brian. He's been affected by this thing he and Tim call The Operator. And they know you have been working under it as well." His hands started to shake, he never wanted me to know about this, and he never expected for me to drop the bomb that Hoodie is my brother. His knees became weak and he sat down in the chair in front of mine. "Y-You know everything. All o-of it-t. My p-past, my p-present. Now...now you hate me." I bit the inside of my cheek, not even knowing how to feel.

"You're going to tell me the truth, Toby. And maybe I won't call the cops on you."

"The cops?! I've been running from them since I was 15! What do you think they're going to do Y/n?!" He sat up from his chair, his eyes darkened in anger as he kneeled down in front of me. Toby clenched his jaw and hung his head to look at the ground. I placed my hand over my chest, feeling my heart thumping against it.

I'm playing with my damn life right now!

He gently placed his hand on my thigh and placed his other hand around my chin. His eyes were now full of guilt and regret. "This entity has full control over me, he won't ever let go and if I don't complete his missions...he punishes me until I wish I was dead. And it sucks because he's the only thing that can make me feel pain....even though I can't in reality. I'm sorry for talking to you that day, I know I can't take it back, and I know that knowing that I never completed my mission doesn't make it any better. I just wanted to love you forever, and I knew it wasn't possible, but I still sought you out."

I looked down at him, my eyes softening a little because he seemed to be fully upset about what he was forced to do. "I'm in a cycle of abuse...and I'm afraid it won't ever end." Against my better judgment, I reached down and cupped his cheeks with my hands. This really fucking sucks right now.
I got off of the chair to join him on the ground and placed a light kiss against his lips. He craned his neck to deepen it. Toby grabbed both sides of my waist and pulled me into his body so mine would press into his. I pulled away from him so I could look into his brown eyes once again.

"I love you, Toby. And I think it's dangerous to even love someone who's been affected by this entity. But I do. And I love it when you hold me, I love it when we're together. I love all of your piercings and your scars. I love your long locks." Tears welled up in my eyes before I looked down.

My life just isn't fair.

I looked up at him again and he started to shake his head. It was like he knew what was to come out of my mouth next and he didn't want to accept it. "Y/n, please don't d-do this." A small tear rolled down his cheek as he saw a sad smile spread across my face. "I love you, Toby. I will forever. But I can't put myself in danger anymore." He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. I wiped his tears away before kissing him again.

"You're in danger no matter what you do, Y/n."
~