𝖠𝗇𝖺𝗑𝗂𝗉𝗁𝗂𝗅𝗂𝖺 ☽

Chapter 32: Arguments Between Old Friends

December 10th, 2015. 5:04 am.
~Toby's pov

I clutched my head, feeling a searing pain take over. It felt like a blade entering your skull, except it's burning at 1000 degrees and is melting your brain due to how fucking hot it is. "Fuck you! I just want you to know that I am not sorry for what I've done!" This only made the pain worse as my body crumbled into the ground. I couldn't feel anything else but what was being inflicted upon me as sweat beaded down my forehead, mixing with the blood that smothered my face.

"I'm not sorry for disobeying you! I'm not sorry for being...happy! I won't ever be sorry again."

It sucked to lack control over your own body. To feel things you're not supposed to feel and be subjugated to the rule by some god, or immortal energy that has too much power over its subjects. To make people see shit, to cause them to go crazy so they'd have no choice but to fall to it for comfort. Everyone else has cast them away for their illnesses, why not confide in something inhuman to help you? They'd understand more than anyone, right?

Wrong.

They're all wrong. This thing doesn't want friendship or loyalty. It doesn't want to form relationships or even bond with the people that works for it. The only thing that this entity wants is total control. To dig into your worst fears, worst insecurities and turn it into your biggest strength...only so you can become inhuman and strange like him. To be something superior, but not too strong or else you'd want to make a life of your own, follow your own rules. No matter what you do, you can't, and won't ever escape the control it has over you.

They gave it a name so they can better identify their leader and humanize it so they can better communicate with it. They call him Slenderman, I can't be bothered to ever address him as such.

Why would I? It's made me suffer so fucking much that any respect I could have for it is gone. And I won't ever feel anything for it except disgust and contempt. The thing can't even comprehend why I'm so resistant, it lacks empathy, and it lacks the ability to care about anything. That's why it's so easy to get punished by him, because he doesn't understand so he won't. It's easier to just inflict pain on those who defy it.

A frustrated and yet pained scream escaped my lips. It felt like I had been holding it in for years because it came from deep within my chest. My scream echoed into the morning sky, causing creatures to scurry on by and away from where the noise came from.

Then, the searing pain stopped as the sound of somebody moving caught my attention. Leaves crunched underneath their feet as they stood up from the ground and a few groans sounded from their lips as they cracked their bones. "Are you fucking serious, Toby? Get up! I should be the one in more pain than you, you literally lodged your hatchets into my back." Jack kicked me in the side, nudging me to stand on my two feet once again. I could only look up at him in pure anger. His presence did nothing but piss me off.

And here I thought we would finally work on our friendship and become better allies...god was I wrong.

"Get the fuck away from me." My words were quiet, but I know that he could still hear my voice.

"I can't hear you, speak up, Toby." I got up from the floor in a fit of rage.

"Why would you do that to me, Jack?! I thought that we were friends?! I thought that you had my back and came here to help?! Why would you go after her?!" I pushed him away, grabbing the switchblade out of my back pocket and flipped it open. "You're just like the rest of them. Scheming behind my back, gossiping when things don't go well for me. Using me as their scapegoat!" Jack pushed me back, he used all of his brute force to do so, knocking me back down on my ass. A guttural yell came out of him as he fought the urge to punch me in the face to shut my ass up. "It was either you or her! And I'll pick you every time!"

I looked up at him with my eyebrows still furrowed, but I was now confused as to what the hell he was talking about. "What the fuck do you mean by me or Y/n?!"

"I was given a new mission when Slenderman sent me down here. It was either to kill that girl myself...or to kill you. And he knew that I wouldn't let you die, so he expected me to get the job done or else he would kill the both of you together. So I hope that fucking answers all of the accusations you have pointed at me tonight. All of the nasty thoughts in your mind. But I just want you to know, I don't blame you for being pissed off at me. Because I know that if I was in your situation, I would be upset too. Hell, I would even bring satan here himself to take care of our master. But there are no miracles here, and there is no such thing as falling in love with people who aren't proxies. I'm sorry that you did the impossible, but it's just going to have to stay just that way." Jack went to go and gather his shit that was all scattered on the ground. I just sat in the same spot, trying to catch my breath and process everything that was said.

I shook my head and tears started to fall down my cheeks.

I just...I just hate living how I do. Even though I enjoy the euphoric rush. I just...it's not me.
~