Open When I'm Gone

30. The Roads.

"Kids, we have to leave! Get your stuff together!"

I haul my backpack over my shoulder, my bones still aching from yet another sleepless night.

After Mitchell left me on the back porch last night, I should've gotten up, gone and apologized to Jolie. But I didn't. I just sat outside until the moon was covered by the clouds and rain began to pour down around me.

I came in soaking wet and just flopped into my bed, dripping and fully clothed.

The rain water I dragged in formed a dark crust around where my body laid on the bed sheets, but it doesn't matter now.

Because from the second I woke up this morning, Jolie won't even look at me. Not even a stray glance across the breakfast table or a smile as I sit in the girls room to help Alyssa zip up her suitcase.

It feels like a part of me is missing, the part of me that shoots sparks when I see her, the part that makes my heart flutter.

I feel like I've lost her already, and it hasn't even been a full day.

"Simon, come on dude, or we're gonna leave without you!" Mitchell shouts through the door as he lugs the last suitcase out onto the patio.

I sigh, trying my hardest to release the tension from my chest, to no avail.

The sun is warm on my face as I slide my bag into the back of the car, the pavement radiating trapped heat like the plague.

"Alright!" Mr. Cherith shouts from his spot in the driver's seat. "Lets move out, kiddos!"

I duck into the open door, taking the last open seat in the minivan.

Right next to Jolie.

"Hey," I mumble, trying my best to give her my most sorry smile.

But if she even sees me, she doesn't show any acknowledgement of my guilt, just giving me an obligatory head nod before sliding her headphones over her ears.

Great.

I lean my head against the window, the heat almost calming the pulsing in my head.

And despite just waking up, I quickly fall back into a hot, dream-filled sleep.

The chair under me is cold, metal against my bare legs.

I'm dressed in a hospital gown, the same type they put me in after my attempt. The fabric is scratchy on my skin.

"Simon," a familiar voice comes from behind me, and I crane my neck to try to see the face that matches the voice, although I know before I see her dark hair and piercing eyes.

Jolie kneels down in front of me, her hands rising to cup my cheeks, her brown eyes sparkling with a light source I can't see.

"Hi, Prince Charming." She grins at me, her perfect lips curling into an even more perfect smile.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, tears coming to my eyes. "I do love you, Jolie, I love you with everything in me. I'm sorry that you don't believe it."

I reach up to touch her face, to hold her, but my wrists are caught, burning. I glance down to see my hands secured tightly to the arms of the chair with thick metal bands, turning my hands red with lack of blood flow.

"With everything in you, you say?" Another voice comes from somewhere in front of me, a small form emerging from the layers of shadows encasing the room.

Eddy stands behind Jolie, her skin so pale and sickly, like it was before she died.

Is that how she lives in my subconscious? Sick and frail, not the joyful girl that I grew up with?