Getting You Back

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Broken (Harry's POV)

      The nameless doctor shuts the door behind him then lets out a long, tired sigh. Once again he looks at all of us, taking us all in one by one. I tap my fingers against my leg with my agitation as he takes his time speaking. Like he takes us in I take him in with my eyes. His eyes look tired with purple bags beneath them. The colour of his face has been washed away with his lack of sleep. Instead of wearing a pristine white doctor's coat he is dressed in blue scrubs.
Please say something, anything to ease my worry.
"Martinez Family." We all get up at the sound of his voice and step closer to him. His eyes widen at our closeness and he takes a step back to put space between us and him. "I take it you all are with Miss Halleiana Martinez." Miguel and Isabelle step forward hand in hand to speak directly to him.
"Is she okay?" For the first time, in the years that I have known her, Isabelle sounds so small, so broken. The doctor sighs heavily then puts his arms across his chest. I stiffen at his demeanour. If it were good news wouldn't he be a bit more open and welcoming?
"She is terribly hurt Mrs. Martinez. For someone her age, height, and weight she has been through a lot." I cringe at the truth, at the sound of his crackly voice. "Her body is covered is bruises with cuts from the glass down her arms and legs. When the other car compacted with her taxi it caused her to go flying out the window. Her impact with the window and the ground caused some bleeding in her brain and formed a crack in her skull. Halleiana slid across the ground when she came in contact with it so she has severe road rash on her arms but that also means that when she slid her clavicle bone was split in two due to impact and a few ribs were broken in different places. In surgery we went and made sure the bleeding stopped in her brain and that there was no further bleeding. There was a bit of swelling due to water so we made sure that the water and swelling were stopped." My throat tightens, the contents in my stomach begin to churn within me threatening to come up any second. Gemma grips onto my swaying body and leans me against her smaller frame.
"Is there any permanent changes that she will have to live with?" Scenarios begin to flash through my head. There could be a chance she will need someone to push her, help her or guide her. If she needs a wheel chair I will be the one to push her around, If she needs a walker I will walk behind her so she won't fall back, or if she needs crutches for the rest of her life I will carry her when she is tired. Anything she will need I will give to her. And if I can't do it with all the power that I have I will find someone can.
"Oh no, she will make a full recovery without any changes to her normal life." The weight of the world lifts from my shoulders at his words. I place my hand over my racing heart and begin to calm myself down.
"Thank God." I whisper to myself. Thank you, thank you, I think to myself as I look up at the ceiling. Gemma and my mum wrap me in their arms and hold me tight to them.
"When can we see her?" My voice comes out hoarse and shaky sounding almost unrecognizable to my own ears.
"Yes you can son but." The smile drops from my face at his hesitation. What more can there be? Surgery is done and he is here talking to us.
"What is it?" The same sigh he released when he walked in leaves him again. This time his cold gaze breaks and I can see a bit of sadness in his eyes. His shoulders slouch an inch going undetected by the others and only caught by me.
"Her body has gone in to overdrive, shock from what has happened. Her brain has put her in a coma." My heart drops in my chest as I blankly stare at the doctor in front of me. The word coma echoes over and over in my head. Comas can last weeks, months, some even years. If her eyes are closed for years she will miss out on all the important things she deserves in life. Prom, high school graduation, college, our wedding, everything. Gemma places her hand on my arm breaking my inner battle. How can he stand here and tell us she is fine when she lays in a bed in a coma? My hands begin to shake at my sides, I feel the blood in veins begin boil, and when I look up at him all I want to do is punch this doctor in the face. I want to him for the false hope he has given me.
"What do you mean coma? You just said she was fine!" My voice comes out louder than normal causing my mum to jump in shock next to me. It takes everything in me not to push this man against the wall and demand to know what is really wrong with my girl.
"Please explain more to us Dr. Smith." Isabelle says calmly then places her hand on my shoulder. She can tell that I am on the verge of a break down.
"Her body and mind have been under so much distress that have gone under protective mode. The crash as the icing on the cake. The coma is more of coping mechanism rather than a medical thing. Normally if she is induced into a coma by a doctor she can be awaken by one but she has put herself into this coma so she is the only one who can wake herself up." He looks away from Miguel and Isabelle and looks me directly in the eye. "And if you don't mind me mentioning Mr. Styles, the media surrounding Halleiana and yourself could be a factor too." There it is. There is never a moment where we can escape from the mistake that I made. There is never a chance where I can try and make things better.
"As I said before she will wake up but it will be on her own. We can only monitor from here." I am split down the middle, part of me wants to kiss the floor this doctor walks on because she is alive. The angel of death came and was sent right back without the life of my girl but the other half me is bawled in a corner, nervously rocking back and forth with worry because of the chance that she might not wake up.
"Can we see her?" I beg with need. Seeing her with my own eyes, no matter what state she is in, will calm me. It will bring me down from my anger induced high.
"Yes, follow me."
The doctor opens the door the extends his arm. We all file out the room with me at the back. I walk behind everyone with my head down and my hands in my pockets. I take in deep breaths to calm myself down, to prepare myself for what I am about to experience. Since the first time we met I have never seen my angel physically hurt let alone broken. Walking through her hospital room door is the entry to a complete unknown. I want to be strong for her to let her know that I can be there for her, that I am enough for her.
"Ummf." I collide into Gemma's back causing her to let out a grunt of pain. She glares up at me and folds her arms across her chest.
"Sorry." My throat tightens when I look up to see we are right in front of her room. My eyes begin to sting and my vision blurs as tears fills my eyes. Behind this door is my broken girl. The thought of seeing her causes my heart to race and my hands to shake. Doctor Smith turns around to look at us all.
"Two at a time would be best." I back up from the group separating myself from the them. I want to go last. I want it to be just Halle and I so I can love on her and whisper words on her skin without the attention of others on us. Miguel and Isabelle open her hospital door very slowly causing a low dim light from within the room to shine out into the hallway. My eyes shift from the room to my shoes. I am not ready, not yet. Mentally and emotionally I am not ready to see her with bruises along her soft pale skin and her beautiful blue eyes hidden behind her eyelids. I bury my face in my hands in defeat. How am I able to be strong for her when I can barely keep myself in check out here?
"Harry." My mum says softly. She runs her hands through my hair in attempt to calm me down. As my mum she always tries to help me with everything I face in life. She does and will do everything in her power to make me happy. But this is something she cannot help me with.
"I love you mum but this is the one moment where you can't help me. I have to be a big boy. I have to fix this on my own." Right as my mum drops her arm from my shoulders Miguel and Isabelle step out of the room. Isabelle's eyes are rimmed red and her body shakes with her silent sobs. Miguel looks up at his sons with an expression I have never seen before, defeat. All three boys nod at once silently answering their father's orders. Elliot and Luca push off the wall then walk into the room. I lean against the wall and wait patiently for my turn. My hands begin to shake in my pockets with my nerves.
"Unca Harrwey." I hear his small voice before I see him. Masen comes running down the hallway and hugs onto my leg. Warm brown eyes look up at me just as I look down at him. Mace's lower lip quivers, his pretty brown eyes are shiny with tears, and his cheeks are red. With ease I pick Mace up and hold him tight to my chest.
"Hey buddy." He hides his face in my neck then wraps his arms around my neck. His tears fall down his face and onto my neck. Mace may be three but he is smart. He is like Halle, observant. The sadness that is present in everyone and the missing person of the family Mace knows Halle is the one who is hurt. His little body begins to shake with the sobs that leave him.
"Shh, don't cry Mace."
"Auwntie Hayee, Auwntie Hayee. I want Auwntie Hayee!" He chants her name over and over again. Each word that leaves his mouth his followed by a tiny punch from his fist. My own tears spill over at his sadness. She is his only Aunt, this is her Little Man. The pain I feel is ten times worse for him.
"I promise she will be okay Mace. I promise." I bury my face into his soft hair allowing his baby scented shampoo to calm me down. Earlier today, yesterday now, he was crying about loosing me and now he is crying cause his aunt is in the hospital. In one day he has gone through more pain than a two year old should have to go through. I bend my knees and set his feet to the ground. He brings his hands up to his face to shield himself.
"Mace." Gently, I pull away his hands from his face. Mace looks at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. His are shiny with his tears and his lips are formed in a sad pout. 
"I promise you that your aunt and I are going no where. We are always going to be here." He jumps back into my arms allowing me just to hold him. I press a kiss to his head sealing my promise. Behind us the door opens slowly with a creak.
"Harry." I turn to see Elliot with red eyes. "It's your turn." I place another kiss to Mace's forehead then hand him over to Elliot. Suddenly, the door is the only thing keeping me from my girl. I place my hand on the door knob but I don't make an attempt to open it yet. I take in a deep breath, calming myself down. This is my girl, my soul, and standing out here will not help her. It only keeps us a part and we have been a part for far too long. With shaky fingers I turn the door knob lightly causing the door to open. The first thing I am greeted with is the constant beat of the heart monitor that is attached to Halle. The sound of her strong heart beat brings me some sort of comfort and strength. My eyes goes directly to the bed when I shut the door behind me. From where I stand I can see her petite frame tucked beneath blankets. Her chocolate brown hair is prominent against the white pillow case her head rest on.
Go to her .
I step away from the door and step further into the room. With each step I take towards her tingles run up and down my spine, goosebumps form on my skin, and my heart pounds against my chest. Even my body recognizes when I am around her. The entire time Halle and I have been together and a part I have said she is mine but this moment right now, the feelings she brings me, shows that I am hers. I don't want to be with any other girl, it is only her. The love she has for me is forever imprinted on my heart and has combined my soul with hers. The rails of her bed are up, keeping me farther than I would like to be. I grip the top of them then look down at my broken girl.
Before I do anything I take her in with my eyes. The soft skin of her pale face is black and blue with bruises and damaged with cuts. There's a deep gash near her right eye while the left eye is puffy with a black ring around it. Her plump lower lip is busted from where she landed on the ground. My eyes travel from her face to her neck. Imprinted on her skin is bruises and cuts just like her face. Her arms are covered in bandages, covering the rash that is along her arms. The rest of her body is hidden beneath the blanket that is on top of her. The tears that have collected in my eyes fall over my lids and fall down my face when I am done taking in her injuries. I bend over the railing of her bed then ever so lightly I place my forehead on hers.
"I promise I won't leave you. I have broken so many of the promises that I have made to you. But I am here baby and I am not leaving you." I press a kiss to her temple, the only skin that is not battered with scratches and bruises. Even after all the hell she went through her skin is still baby soft. I glide my lips down her cheek, along her cheek, then down her neck. Every inch of skin my lips touch I press a kiss and whisper my love.
"So beautiful." I whisper even though I don't have to. "So perfect." Somehow, someway she can hear me and I want her to know that I still find her perfect with bruises and scratches. She is still the perfection in my world. I trace the bridge of her nose lightly, wishing that it could scrunch beneath my touch like it would normally would.
"So gorgeous." I look back at the door knowing that the people behind it are waiting for me to come out. But I can't leave this room, leaving would be the equivalent to torture.
Stay. My conscience says. Be with her.
I pull my jacket off while I kick off my shoes. The chair next to her bed doesn't look comfortable but I sit in it none of the less. I rest my head on her legs then place her hand on my cheek so that I can feel her touch, to know that she is here.
"I am not leaving baby. It's just you and me." My eyes begin to feel heavy beneath the weight of the world. I close my eyes and allow myself to drift. 
I look at the little girl in my arms and I feel my love for her grow even more. She's so small and soft but most importantly she is mine. Her little hands come up from her sides and pats my cheeks. I turn my head to the side so that my lips can press to her tiny hands. "I love you." I say while I nip at her tiny fingers with my lips. She throw her head back and laughs causing my own smile to get bigger. Her eyes are closed, lips shaped in an 'O', and her hands have left my face to her stomach. "She loves her daddy just as much." The sound of her voice automatically make me feel safe, makes me feel whole. Her long, normally chocolate brown hair, is darker with the water from her shower and is clinging to her neck. I move our baby girl to my right hip then I wrap my free arm around my girl's shoulder, pulling her petite body to mine. With a smirk across my face, I lean down and press my lips to her plump ones. 
"Harry? Harry!! Wake up." A quick slap to my head causes me to jump up from my seat. My heart races to my chest, my clothes are sticking to my chest, and with the turn of my neck a pain courses through the lower area of my head. Multiple sets of coloured eyes staring at me. Each set of eyes look at me with worry and concern. My mum reaches out for me hesitantly as if her presence will startle me or set me off.

"Harry." My mum says lightly. I look away from them and back to the bed. Laying there with her eyes closed, needles attached to her skin, and machines hooked up to her is my love. I begin to search around the room for one more person. But just as soon as I start, I stop searching. She's not here. It was a dream, all of it was merely a dream created by my subconscious. That baby girl was ours, a perfect combination of both Halle and I. Tears brim my eyes when the reality of her being in this hospital, fighting for her life, slaps me in the face. My legs are stiff when I get from the chair. I lean over the railing to Halle. I skim the planes of her face with my nose, pressing kisses to her skin as I go. "Good morning beautiful." I whisper into her skin knowing she won't answer but knowing that somehow she still hearing me. "I miss you so much my darling." I caress her cheek with my thumb, lightly gliding over the bruises and cuts. I lean over more and wrap my arms around her as much as possible and bury my face in her neck. "You have to wake up soon, okay? You have to wake up so our family will be okay so we can fix us and go on with our life together." Tears roll down my face and on to her neck. "Our little girl will be beautiful love." I sniffle out.
"Harry." My body tenses at the sound of my name. With a tense body I plant my feet on the ground then turn to face the door.