Getting You Back

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Touch

   The bright light of small flashlight goes in and out of each eye as the doctor sits before me with a clip board and pen in his hand. Harry sits beside me with my parents and siblings right next to me. Harry's hand shakes in mine as he waits patiently until the doctor knows what to say to us. His foot taps against the floor impatiently with each minute that passes in silence. 
"What is your full name?" I suddenly get asked. Suddenly, my voice feels non-existent and my throat feels dry. My mom stands in front of me with her arms across her chest and her worried expression across her face. I need to try for her, I need to try for my entire family.
"Halleiana Marie Martinez." My voice comes out low and crackly. The doctor smiles at me and nods his head approvingly.
"Age?" He ask, continuing his questions.
"Seventeen Years."
"What happened to you?" The vague question makes my head snap up. The question doesn't phase him but it stops me. He is asking me something that can apply to before and after my accident. It applies to what happened to me when I found out Harry was cheating on me, when I came to the conclusion that I couldn't stay with him, when I had to decide to break up with him, and when it came to facing him dating her.
"I....um...I was heading back to the hotel from the Empire State Building when my taxi driver was going too fast and I guess he hit a patch of black ice, we went spinning, a car came towards us, and then...it went black." The last thing I saw was the two bright headlights of the car coming towards before it all went black, before it all went silent. I look down at my hands and close my eyes. I shake my head so that the images is cleared from my mind. Harry's hand tightens around mine comfortingly. The doctor clears his throat then goes into more questions for me to answer. He ask me about my life and the events and people that are in it. With each question that gets asked of me, I give the right answer.
"Well done Ms. Martinez, there's no sign of memory loss. But you do have some healing to do and we would like to monitor how the progression of your wounds heal." He begins to get up from his chair in front of the bed.
"Can I not go home, home to Texas?" I want to go home, I want to be in the Lone Star State where I belong. He stands there, staring at me for what seems like a thousand years. He looks at me then to my parents then back at me again. But after a few more seconds, the doctor takes a deep breath then gives me a small faint smile.

"I will call your family doctor immediately." I feel myself relax at the doctor's okay to go home. My father walks the doctor out of my room and ask him a few of his own questions. I pick up my hand to run my fingers through my hair but my fingers get caught in the tangled, greasy strands of my hair. My nose scrunches at the dirtiness that I feel.

"Ew. Y'all I am mess and need a bath. How come you didn't tell me!" I scream to no one in particular of the people standing beside me. My mother comes over to me and tries to smooth out the bird's nest that is my hair. She places both my hands in her's then she helps me slide off the bed. Gently, with light touches so that I won't get hurt, my mom lifts up the tape that is pressed on my skin holding the wire in place. She takes off each wire one by one. I feel more liberation with each wire that gets dropped from my body. With each tape that gets pulled away from me my mom caresses the light sting that causes my pale skin to go red.When the last wire falls to the ground my mother smiles up at me.
"I will lead you to the shower." She says as she wraps her arm around my waist. With me secure at her side, my mom takes a small step towards the shower. A small hiss escapes my lips with my tiny step of pain."Do you need to be carried?" She ask me quietly. I shake my head and squeeze her shoulder. We both take steps towards the bathroom. I count each step that I take, hoping that the numbers going through my head will distract me from the pain that is shooting up through my leg.
"Thank you mom." I whisper to her as we get closer. When we finally make it, my mom opens the door to the small bathroom and she leads me in. Mom leads me to the toilet then lowers me down onto the lid to sit. Instantly, she turns into super mom, she begins to go around the bathroom. She turns on the shower allowing the water to run until it is warm, she pulls out my shampoo and conditioner, then turns towards me.
"Do you need anymore help?"
"No, I think I got it. I will call if I need anything else." When she leaves me I begin to undress myself. The safest place I think to remove clothes is my feet. Even though it hurts, I bend over and take off the socks on my feet. When I stand right up the pain on my lower back vanishes and I sigh in relief. I pick myself by gripping onto the sink. I nearly fall back in shock at the reflection that looks back at me. My face is bruised along both sides of my face and my bottom lip is busted. I look away from the view. I pull my hospital gown above my head, revealing more of my battle wounds. I gasp at the sight in front of me. My sides are still red and scratched up. Bruises are imprinted on my skin and scratches have pierced it. I try to look away from them but the more damage I find, the longer I look in the mirror. They all remind of the accident that took place, the argument that happened before, and the words that were said between us. Finally, I look away from the mirror and step into the shower. I put myself beneath the warm water, allowing it so cascade down my body. Beneath the water, I wish that the stains on my body get washed away and the memories with it. The water hits me at sides that hurt most than others causing me to cringe and hiss behind the curtain. I lean against the wall, away from the water, hoping to catch a pain free moment.
"How am I going to get..." The shower curtain gets pulled back causing me to jump in shock in my place. "Hey, stop it I...." The clearing of someone's throat causes me to look up. Harry stands before me with his bare torso exposed to my eyes. His shirt lays at his feet, completely forgotten. My eyes scan over him and the beauty that stands before me. His collar bones are taunt against his skin decorated with the ink of his swallows. His abs are prominent against his skin, each muscle is defined and almost looks too beautiful to touch or even look at. His skin looks so smooth and so soft that even my simple touch would ruin that. His torso is long and lean, curving slightly at the deep 'V' muscle that is at his hips. His long legs are toned, making his jeans appear to be painted on rather than worn. Right as my eyes come up to his, his eyes lower. He starts at the crown of my head then makes his way down my body. I can feel his eye on my skin, taking in every scratch and bruise that was forced on my skin. Goosebumps form on my skin beneath his eyes and cause me to shiver beneath the warm spray. Harry brings his hands up and places his fingers on the button of his jeans. Very slowly, very tauntingly, he pops open his jeans then begins to pull the denim down his legs. But as the fabric reveals more skin of his thighs and legs Harry keeps his eyes trained on my mine causing my heart to race in my chest and for my breath to come out in short pants. When the jeans pool at his feet, he doesn't hesitate to pull down the black Calvin Klein underwear that cling to him. When he stands in front of me, bare and more beautiful than I last remember, I feel something inside me let go. I feel every worry that I have leave me. Harry lifts his leg over the small tub then steps into the small confined space and closes the curtain behind him. He places himself beneath the warm water and allows it to consume him. Rather than giving me his back, Harry stands with his chest facing me and his head raised toward the spray. The veins in his neck protrude beneath his skin and his jaw line tightens. At my side my fingers twitch to touch him, to feel his skin on mine and to have his arms hold me close to him it feels as though we have become one. The pull that I have always felt towards him flares up inside, it fights me to go. Harry's extends his hand towards mine, asking silently for me to come. Without hesitation, I place my hand in his and let him pull me into his chest. Right as our skin touches, I feel myself relax. I feel all the worries and insecurities I had before he stepped in vanish. The tips of his fingers glide along the sides of my thigh, across my hip, then back down my thighs to that he can cup both cheeks in his hands. I watch him as he takes me in, I watch him as he memorizes every little detail about me. He sucks on his lower lips while his pupils dilate as his eyes glide along my body. Being beneath his gaze once again excites me, it causes me to feel a need that has been suppressed since that fatal phone call. Gently, so he won't break me, Harry leans me back in his arms so that more of my neck is exposed to his lips. His lips caress along the skin of my neck causing my body to relax in his arms and for my breath to come out heavier and thicker. Suddenly, the small gap between our bodies seemed more likes miles rather than inches. I gently raise my left leg and hitch it on his hip causing our more intimidate areas to touch. Right as Harry caresses against me he stiffens in my arms, hides his face in my neck, and lets out a muffled moan that nearly causes me to fall back. I lift my other leg to his hip, allowing him to have full control over me in his arm. Every line of my own body connects with his. Every memory that I have tried so long to control comes back with the simple touch of his skin against mine. The first time he ran into me, hearing his deep sleep filled voice at three in the morning, the precious moments where his fingertips would trace endless shapes and words into my skin as I laid against him. Harry begins to pepper my face and neck with soft kisses. He switches from soft pecks to butter fly kisses. His lips go from my neck to my collarbones then down to my shoulders. I feel my body begin to shake in his arms with my need. I need him, I need his touch, his voice, his presence, him.
"I've missed you so much love." His voice comes out deep and low with his arousal. With the water running it is only me who can hear his voice and it is only me who knows how our position has him in need. The tips of my fingers trace up his back, along his shoulders, then I wrap my arms around him and pull myself tighter against him.  
"I've missed you, I've missed you, I've missed you." I murmur into his skin as I press kisses along his collar bones. "Hold me tighter." I beg desperately as I wrap my arms around his neck. It is like I cannot get closer to him, like one small inch is going to be that shove back into what was before my accident. "I am so sorry for everything that I have done to you." He cries into me. "I love you and I am sorry." He sighs out all the frustration and words that have pent up in his mind. I wrap him in my arms and just let him hold me. I allow my body to mold into the shape of his arms, I allow every line of my body to press into his. I allow myself to open my heart and give a piece of me once again. Harry's nose caresses against the crown on my hair, down the side of my face to my temple, and then along my jaw line. The feel of his light touch and his skin against mine causes a shiver to run up my spin and for my heart to race in my chest. The tip's of his fingers go up and down my back and sides.
"I love you so much." He whispers against my skin so lowly that only I can hear. I lean up on my tip toes then press my lips to his. I kiss him with all that I have and all that I can do. Our lips move slow at first. They merely caress against one another and press small hesitant kisses. His lips are soft and warm, they are everything that I remember and so much more.
"Kiss me, please kiss me." I beg as I grip onto his shoulder's harder with my hands. Harry's arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me higher up on my toes allowing our lips to be a few inches a part. We breathe each other in, stand quietly beneath the warm spray of the water as our heart beats against one another against our chest. I make the first move a press my lips to his. Unlike the kiss before, this kiss is needy, passionate. That is the only way I can describe, his lips moving against mine causes my blood to boil in my veins, it causes my head to spin, and it heats me up the way the sun would if I were sun bathing. His arms tighten around me, crushing me against his chest. Though it hurts, I cannot tell him to stop, I can't tell him to let go. People away say we have one life to live, I have always agreed with it. It wasn't until I almost lost my own life that I truly understand what that saying means. We only have one life that we are granted so why would I deny myself the love that I need to survive. Why would I deprive myself of the man who makes life actually worth living? I pull away from his lips and allow air to go back in to my lungs. I press my forehead against his as my chest heaves up and down. His eyes are locked with mine and his hands caress my thighs, hips, sides, arms, and cheeks. I caress my nose against his, humming at the feel of his skin against mine. I run my fingers through his hair, scratching lightly against his scalp. He closes his eyes at the soft touch and nestles his face closer into my hand.
"I forgive you baby." Harry's eyes snap wide open and his hands pulls me tighter to him by my hips. "I truly do. I love you." I whisper even though our voices are muffled by the constant streaming of the shower water. I place my hand on his cheek then cup his jaw with my free hand.  Harry's green eyes glimmer with the tears that have built in his eyes.

"Y-you still love me?"  My words get caught in my throat, I feel my own eyes begin to fill with tears. You know that moment when your emotions overcome you, that you feel something so strong that you cannot put them into words, where there is no words that are enough to describe the feelings I feel for him. That is me in this moment, as I stand here and I look at this man, I cannot put into the words the emotions and feelings I have for him. I feel so much love, adoration, content, happiness, and peace with me. It is all these simple words that I feel but don't say because they are not enough to give him justice. I lean up on the tips of my tones and press my lips to his.
"I love you." I say against his lips. "It's just you and me." Harry relaxes in my arms and his dimpled smile spreads across his face. He presses kisses into my wrist and fingers. He praises me with his lips and the caress of his hands. Harry lets me go then places himself beneath the water. The warm water cascades down his smooth skin allowing his muscles to relax, his eyes are closed as the water caresses down him. How can a man such as he be so beautiful, how does one such as he exist? I reach out to him, caressing his back like he did my sides with the lightest touch.
"When you love someone and they leave, you let them go. If they come back they're yours to keep." The words I told Gat earlier come back to me. With my beautiful man in front of me and me loving him more than I have before, shows me how saying no to Gat was the best decision I have ever made. I could never love someone or be in with someone like I am with him. Harry turns around so that his back isn't to me anymore. He sticks his hand out then laces our fingers together. Throughout all the tears, the lies, the media, and the unwanted pain, he came back to me and I came back to him. Somehow in this crazy world we found each other again. He could of stayed with Taylor, I could of gave my heart to Niall but something stopped us, something knew that my heart and my love is strictly for Harry. I release my hand from his, caress it up his chest then softly trace the butterfly that is permanently etched into his skin. I trace the wings over and over then caress a path up to the swallows that are on his collar bones.
Love isn't easy, if it was the magic that comes with it wouldn't exist. It would be something common. Our love isn't easy but it's worth everything. There's no one else on this planet I can see myself with because he is home. He is my home in this crazy world, I want to be beside him in this world. I want him as mine, as my boyfriend, as my husband, as the father or my children. I want him in every possible shape and form. I begin to trace random letters into his skin at his shoulder blades. Without saying anything, Harry pulls me into his arms. I rest my head on his chest so that I can hear his heart beating. As I lay against him, I realize that the random letter I am tracing are not so random. I trace the words love and mine over and over as if I am tattooing them into his skin. Harry smiles down at me while my fingers trace the two words continuously. It is comforting to know that everything I am feeling and thinking is what he is thinking and feeling as well. Harry stops my tracing and pulls both my arms around his neck. He leaves small kisses on both corners of my mouth then to my lips. Harry leave three small pecks on my lips, silently telling me those three special words.

"Can I show you something?" He suddenly ask.

"Of course." Harry reaches behind him then turns off the water. He reaches for our towels then wraps the fluffiest one around me.

"Get warm, dressed, and we'll go."