Getting You Back

Chapter Twenty: Reunion

Chapter Twenty: Reunion 

        "Okay everyone, it is time that we all begin to leave." My mom calls out from the foyer. I smooth out out my dress one more time then step out of the powder room. For the last twenty minutes I have been in the powder room, convincing myself not to stay in this suite until it is time to fly back home to Texas. But if I were to stay in this bathroom and miss the show I would be hurting Niall and I would be hurting myself. I need to be strong for Niall but I need to be strong for myself because if I don't face my fears now, I never will.
"Sweetheart? Halle?" My mother calls out for me. When I round the corner I catch her eyes searching around our suite trying to find. "Oh there you are." She says happily with a smile across her face. Luca pulls my coat from the closet and opens it for me. Like the gentleman he is, Luca guides my coat up my arms then loops my arms through his arms. My entire family stands around me, dressed beautifully, waiting patiently for me to make the first move.
"Okay." I finally say. "Lets do this." Elliot opens the door then waves us forward with his hand. I let each member of my family leave the room before I do. I take the extra second it takes them to leave to take in a few breaths. When I am last person standing in the suite, I step out, shut the door, and lock it before I rush back in. When I turn on my heel, the first person waiting for me with their hand out is my Mace. He stands patiently in front of me with his hand out and open for mine. I place my hand in his then we follow behind our family. both from brothers walk in front of us as if they are a shield. Elliot walks in front of Lena as she holds Avie, Luca walks in front of our mom, and as they all walk in front of me they shield me. They shield from the eyes of the people that will see us once we step out of the elevator, they shield us from the media that could take our pictures. When we step in the elevator I carefully watch the numbers as they decreases with each passing level. I watch them, hoping that someone on one of the floors will suddenly need to go down. Comfortingly, I hold onto Masen's hand as we make our way down to the lobby of the hotel. I look at my family dressed in our best and a smile forms on my face. We're ready. We're ready for anything that comes our way, I repeat to myself over and over like the little train that could hoping I start to believe the words before these doors. 
"Auwntie Hayee pwetty." Mace says soft to me as his tiny free hand smooth out my dress. I smile down at my little man as he plays with the bottom of my dress. He looks too adorable in his black slacks, white collard button up shirt, and black converse. And to top it all off he has a little bow tie around his neck. 
"You look handsome little man, you look smashing tonight." His cheeks turn a light pink and he buries his face in his hands. When the number five flashes across the small screen my stomach violently ties into knots with nerves. It feels like everything in me is ticking like a bomb, ready to explode at the slightest move. The ding of the elevator steals my attention from Masen and my endless thoughts. The doors to the elevator open to the entire lobby causing everyone to stop for a moment. Each person, at their own time, stops and takes a look at us. They look at each of my brothers, my mother, my sister-in-law, then at me. Only a few out of the many recognize me when I stare back at them. Their eyes widen and I can see the recognition come to light in their eyes. Elliot leads both my mother and Lena out, leaving Luca with me. I put one foot out but then quickly put it back into the elevator. I can't do it, I can't do this. I have spent all these months saying that I have fixed my myself, that with each passing day I was getting better. But as I stand here in the elevator, with a mere few hours away from the show and less than a ten minute drive away from him, I have realized that everything about me is still broken. I am broke and I am bleeding and by going to this show I am sending myself deeper into my own grave. When one gets hurt they have the ability to go receive medicine that courses through them to heal their wounds as it flows through them. When one dies, their souls is relieved from the pain of the world. But here I am, a walking zombie who was not lucky enough to gain peace. For my wounds are not physical, meaning there was nothing there to dull the pain until my sadness kicked in a numbed my soul turning me into a living zombie.
"We have to go bug." Luca pulls my hand from my side and tries pulling me out of the small cabin but I plant my feet on the ground, making it hard for him to move me.
 "I can't do it. I am not ready." I violently press my finger against the fifteenth floor button while Luca looks at me, shocked. He recovers right as the doors begin to close and sticks his hand out. He steps into the elevator with me then gives me a look. He won't make me speak like Elliot would but he knows after a few looks I will spill.
"I am not strong, I thought I was but I can't. I am not him, I can't walk around with a smile on my face and act like everything is okay when it is not." I cry underneath his stare. I drop my face in my hands so that he can't see me this way. Like normal brothers, mine would love it for me to simply move on. To forget about him and to be the person I was before I met him. But it is not that simple. It is easier to say that I can get over him and what he did to me over a period of time but some things are easier said than done. Love isn't merely a feeling but it is also a choice. It is mental, physical, and emotional, it is everything that makes up a person because essentially the one you fall in love with becomes a part of who you are as a person. And it is hard to explain that to him, to anyone. I started to fall in love with him, it was the emotion I felt when he said my name, when he took my hand in his, and when his green eyes connected with him. But it was our choice, my choice, to make the decision to seal that love. I physically embodied our love by being by his side through everything, every rumor, every magazine cover, I wore his promise ring on my hand for the entire world to see. By committing myself to that love he became a part of me. Luca's arms comes around me and he just holds me to his chest.
"How can you not see the strength that I do? You are here, you are in the city everyone thought you would run away from. You somehow gave a bit of your heart to Niall even when the rest is broken. Just because you are broken like you say you are doesn't mean you can't. It just means we have to be gentle with every situation." He whispers in my ear. "You are the strongest person I know bug. I will help you." I pull away from him and look him in the eye. There is no lie in Luca's eyes. He stares at me with a conviction that I have been missing. "You ready?" I loop my arm through his and nod my head. He presses the button and the doors open once again. We exit the lift and head into the lobby with the rest of our family. Gasps echo in the room as we walk and it seems as the noise level lowered. I look around the room trying to find what they're staring at.
"They're looking at you bug." My eyes stop going around the room and I give Luca a weird look. "You look very beautiful tonight." I shake my head as we begin to head for the front door. I see Jesse waiting outside for us. This time he does not look as nervous as he was earlier. The sea of fans look slightly bigger than it did this afternoon. Their camera flashes go off at the sight of us. I lower my head so the flashes don't blind me. Before I can go any farther I see a gigantic puddle of melted snow. I stop short and consider my options. If I were to step into the puddle my shoes would get wet and it is too cold to have my feet wet. Elliot looks back at me from within the car with a smirk.
"Having trouble?" He says with the same smirk across his face. If we weren't in front of people I could attack him but I keep my composure and nod my head. He gets out of the car and comes back to me, lifting me up off the ground.
"Thank you fluff." I whisper in his ear so the people around us don't hear his childhood nickname.
"Awe." We hear from the crowd of fans. He carries me the over the puddle then places me safely in my seat. He shuts the door behind me so I am no longer in front of the cameras. Masen leans over in his seat and hands something to Jesse. As the car pulls away from the hotel the music starts to play. My heart starts to ache at the beginning notes of my favorite song. The music of Stole My Heart fills the car. 
Under the lights tonight
You turned around, and you stole my heart