Getting You Back

Chapter Four: Learning to Resist

Chapter Four: Learning to Resist

        We pull away from each other as Lilly smiles at me. I just told the whole world that we are done. I look down at my empty left hand. I can see the tan line of the missing promise ring that use to be there. There's no more Harriana Stylinez, there is no more him, there is no more us.
"Hey, no second guesses." I look up at the sound of Lilly's voice. I give her a half hearted smile hoping that it will convince her I feel a bit better than I did before.
"Yeah, I know. I was just thinking." She smiles at me then gives me a hug.
"Now, I have to use the bathroom. I will be right back." As she leaves my room my phone begins to ring. I walk over to my dresser already knowing who it is. Unlike before, I pick up the phone as it rings. Everything in my body screams to answer the call, to hear his deep voice, and just admit that I am still so in love with him. But my brain fights with my heart. Tears fill my eyes as the phone continues to ring. My blood runs cold and I can feel each piece of my heart crumble and break off. Not only am I hurting myself but I'm hurting him. "He hurt you." The voice in my head says. Finally, the screen goes dark telling me the voice mail picked up. I stay frozen in my spot watching the phone as he leaves another message.
"Halle?" I turn to look at Lilly. Her eyes scan over my face and automatically her face fills with worry. She knows me like the back of her hand. If something is wrong she is going to know.
"What is it? Did he call?" I tighten my grip on my phone hoping she won't come for it.  
"No, I was just answering a text from Niall." I hate lying, it's one of my pet peeve's but if she knew he called and I was considering hearing the message she'd be mad.

"Okay. I have to go home but I will text you later." She gives me one more protective hug."Thank you for everything Lilly." She sighs."You're my best friend, we will get through this together." Suddenly, the phone feels like a brick in my hands. When she leaves the room I unlock my phone with shaky finger. I click on my voice mail and hold my breath.
"Baby, please." When I hear his voice I feel a weight being pressed on my body. I feel the weight of what he did to me and his absence. "Please, I am begging you. Talk to me. I need you baby. And I know that you need me just as much as I need you. You are my life, love. I love you Halleiana Martinez. And I will keep fighting for you until you are where you belong. I love you baby." The breath I've held in far too long releases when his voice disappears. His words cut me like knives and leaves me marked up, damaged, and without a heart. He's the one who destroyed us yet here he is calling and hurting me even more. My phone falls out of my hands and on to the bed. I take a few steps back, putting space between me and the device. I have to learn. I have to learn how to resist him. Never once have I had to deprive myself of him. He was never suppose to be the one to hurt me. Once he told me he was my protector. He told me he would be the won to protect and help me up when I fall. But here we are now and he is the own who pushed me off the ledge. Where are you now Harry? I lay down in my bed and curl myself into a ball. My body screams for sleep yet my mind won't shut off to allow it. I look up at the ceiling and being to count. One..two...three...