Getting You Back

Chapter Nineteen: Show Day

Chapter Nineteen: Show Day

         The city outside my window is alive and buzzing with endless commotion as I lay wide awake in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The buzz of the city is the same buzz that is going on within my mind, enabling me to sleep. I try to find shapes in the paint like I would do with the clouds when I am outside. But everything mushes together, forming one giant picture of white rather than individual shapes. Though I don't find anything I refuse to move my eyes from the ceiling. I am fighting so desperately hard not to look at the clock that is on the bedside table. One would think I would be able to sleep considering the day I had yesterday but I can't. Each time I close my eyes my thoughts go haywire, something comes up, a worry or a fear, driving away any ounce of sleep. Many possibilities and scenarios run through my mind, taunting me. Today is December 3, today is the Madison Square Garden show. For the first time since that awful phone call, we are all going to be in the same place. There's not a day that has gone by where I have not wondered why the boys and the girlfriends never told me. The Lord knows that I would of done anything for them, especially the girls. We were the only four who knew what each other went through on a daily basis. The hate, the intrusive behavior of some of the fans, and the people who tried to bring us down, we knew how to comfort and help each other. When ever the tabloids created a lie we were the ones to pick each other up. I took the first red eye out when Eleanor called crying about the stories being made up. Yet the one time it was my actual boyfriend doing the wrong and not some middle aged man creating a story to make money they couldn't tell. Before my break-up I could never tell a person what betrayal felt like, how it sits heavy on your heart, and makes you feel weak but now I feel like I know it all too well, I know it well enough I could tell anyone if they ask. Masen rolls into my side, snuggling himself closer to me. He sleeps with his legs pulled into his chest and his lips forming a small 'O', making him look like the little baby he use to be. He sleeps peacefully so peacefully, unaffected by the weight of the world. How I wish I could escape the craziness of the outside world and my own like he can. To just forget about the mess and just sleep. It feels like it has been over a hundred years since I have slept properly. I give up my fight and look over at the bedside table. I look at the clock and see that it is only six in the morning. I can already feel that today is going to be a long day. There will be media, fans, and so many eyes placed upon us today. Every step that I take, every movement that I do will be analyzed. From my spot on the bed I see Ava begin to wiggle in her baby bed. Her little arms stretch out over her head and her legs go out. With her waking up it means it is the beginning of our crazy day. Her tiny hands go to her eyes and she begins to rub them. Her lips begins to form a little pout and her cheeks begin to turn red. I move Masen to his side of the bed so I can get up. I remove myself from the warmth of the bed and into the coldness of the room. I run into the kitchen, grabbing the things to make her bottle. I walk around the kitchen with her bottle in my right hand and her baby blanket in the other.
"Good morning sunshine." I whisper to her when I walk over to her baby bed. I bend down to pick her up just as she wakes up. When I pick her up, she opens her eyes, allowing me to see her pretty brown eyes. Her eyes widen and she gives me a toothless smile. I kiss her fingers softly then place her bottle in her mouth. I walk around our suite and hum to my little sunshine. As I walk around the suite, I always end up by the big windows. Something compels to go to the big window, to peer down what is waiting for us below. Gently, I pull back the thick curtain and gasp at the sight. Down below I see a gigantic groups of girls standing outside the hotel in the cold. They are standing around the entrance, waiting for something to happen.  Ava looks over my arm, her eyes follows the same direction mine look in. Unlike me, the sight of a big group of girls doesn't do anything to her.
"Today is going to be a crazy day Ava Marie." I whisper into her skin. 
"Ugh...what time is it?" I hear Mace's small groans from the bed. I turn from the window to look at the bed. There with sleepy eyes and spiky hair is my Masen. He sits up in the bed then rubs his eyes and stretches his arms out.
"Good morning Handsome." His little nose scrunches just like my brother's does causing him to look more like his dad than his mom. Suddenly, Alex and my dad come to mind. Not having them here, especially during the Christmas time, leaves a gap in my family. And I know Masen misses his dad and granddad.
"Auwntie." I look over at him as he calls me. "I'm hungry. Can we eat?" My eyes go back to the window, looking down at the big group of girls waiting. Is it a great idea to go out? Waiting for us downstairs is a group of fans and that could lead to what happened yesterday. From where I stand by the window I can hear Masen's stomach begin to growl.
"Yeah, we can." I finally answer, making up my mind. The needs of my nephew comes first before my fear. "Lets get up and dressed." He jumps up from the bed then goes running towards the bathroom. "You my sunshine have one crazy brother." I place Ava on the bed in a barrier of pillows. "Don't move little miss." When she is safely nestled in the bed, I run after Masen into the bathroom. By the time I get through the door, Masen already has his clothes off and is in his underwear while he stands outside of the tube with the bath water running.  
"I am very hungry, come on Auwntie!" Once the water is warm Masen takes it into his own hands to pull of his underwear and gets into the bath tub. On their own accord, my lips form a smile. Leave it to him to make me go from nervous to relaxed within a span of a few minutes. I rest on my knees in front of the tub and begin to run my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and hum at the feel of my fingers scratching against his scalp and rubbing the shampoo in his hair. Just like when he was younger, Mace's head is thrown back with his eyes closed as he enjoys the feel of the warm water.  
"I love you Mace." I tell him, reminding him of my love for him.
"I wuv you more." He places his wet hand on top of mine and gives my hand a tight squeeze. I turn my hand up then intertwine my fingers with his smaller ones. Today is going to be a crazy day but I can do it, hopefully, with my favorite boy by my side. I wash the shampoo out of his hair then hand him a soap drenched bath cloth. 
"Wash your body, I will be right back. Call me if you need me." I press a kiss to his forehead then stand up from my spot. I leave the bathroom and go back to my room. Avie is laying on her side, patiently waiting for her turn to be bathed. I pick her up from her spot then carry her back into the bathroom. i set her on the counter top in her bath tub seat. At the sound of the running water, Avie begins to kick her legs and move her arms up and down, making it hard to take her onesie off. 
"Be still you." I pull her the onesie off her, leaving her in her diaper. I press my lips to her stomach and blow air, blowing raspberries into her skin causing Avie's giggle fills the bathroom.
"Auwntie, I am done." I turn around to find Mace out of the tube with a towel wrapped around his waist. I smile at my little nephew who thinks he's a big man. He walks out of the bathroom with the towel dragging behind him even though it is wrapped tightly around his waist.
"Put your clothes on then wait for me." I set Avie in tub and being the same process with her that I did with Mace, this time the bathroom is filled with her baby chatter. With it being a bit calmer, I begin to think about what I am going to do once we are all ready. I am going to expose myself again in their world. I don't know how I can handle it now, handle the pressure of being near them and being near him in the eyes of others. Reporters from all around will be there tonight, ready to witness anything that happens on and off the stage. I rinse Avie off then pull her out of the tube then wrap her in a towel.
"Okay, darling. It is almost time to go." I press a kiss to her cheek then begin to get her ready for the day. An hour later, with Mace ready and Avie ready, we finally make it out of the suite. I ride down the elevator with a racing heart and my stomach in knots. This city may seem big but I know in actuality that it's not that big. I can bump into anyone here on the island. As the elevator goes down Masen makes funny faces in the mirror where he stands. Suddenly, the elevator stops, causing Masen and I to jerk back where we stand. The doors to the elevator begin to open, I regain my balance before more people come on.
"Move back Mace, more people are coming on." He moves from his spot by the door then grabs onto my leg. He cuddles into my leg as the doors open wider. To relax him, I run my fingers through Masen's hair.
"Well ello lovely." I freeze at the sound of the familiar Irish accent. I look up from Mace and right away the person in front of me makes me smile.