Getting You Back

Chapter Ten: Hate

Chapter Ten: Hate

        My lower lip quivers as I scroll down the screen. Each picture and word are like a slap in the face. It reminds me of the aftermath of a tornado. Our tornado came through my life, destroying everything that I built with him. Now I am the one left to pick up the pieces of the aftermath. I refresh the page once again. New headlines, comments, and pictures come up. One headline catches my attention. "Harry Styles caught out in London again, walking the streets pissed." I look at each picture of him. His skin is bone white, his hair is in a greasy and a mess rather than in his signature smooth curls, and his green eyes look pale rather than the pretty green I once remembered them to be. Pictures from inside the clubs show him with beer bottles in his hands or him gulping down tequila straight from the bottle as if it were water. I skim over the article with my eyes biting on my lower lip to keep my tears in. "Friends of Harry Styles say that the eighteen year old is drinking more than he normally does and parties at all hours of the night." I feel my heart shatter at the end of the sentence. He's hurting himself, all the drinking and partying, it is going to hurt him. His body is not use to this much alcohol or insufficient rest. At my side my phone lights up with notifications.
"Look what you did to him, this is your fault." 

"Thanks whore for breaking him." 

"Go die ugly. You really fucking messed him up. You broke him."  I broke him? It's my fault that he goes out? They blame me as if it's me forcing the liquor bottle down his throat. They are blaming me as if I am the one who is shoving him out the door and into the clubs. Ever since Niall flew back to London the 'fans' have been tweeting me nonstop that it was my fault Harry is doing this to himself. They tell me the most horrid things to the most trivial things. The one that got me was, "Your mother must be ashamed to call you her daughter." There's one thing that I did throughout my whole relationship and that was protect my family. I didn't want their names associated with hate and with some of the negativity that came with being his girlfriend. It would be easy to say I look right over the hate. The whole sticks and stones method but it's not that easy. When you see the good meshed in with the bad you focus on the bad. You want to know what you've done that has given you all this hate. What have I done? I was hated when I use to make him happy. I was the nobody that stole his heart. Why was I getting punished for loving him? But what happens now? He broke my heart, he did the one thing no one deserves. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. What is his punishment? Nothing because he is Harry. In some of their eyes Harry can do no wrong and because he can do no wrong I am the one who gets blamed for everything. My phone begins to light up and vibrate. I pull my legs to my chest and bury my face in my knees. I shut my eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. I'm tired of crying, I want to move on just like every other girl who goes through a break up. As the vibrations continue and grow stronger I hold myself tighter.  

"Please stop. Just leave me alone. You got what you want. I'm gone, he's your's now." I whisper over and over. I begin to rock back and forth in the spot on my bed.
"Halle." I pick my head up at the call of my name. Lilly steps into my room hesitantly. "I've been trying to call you best friend." I sniffle then pick up my phone. My screen is frozen on my twitter page. The normal function of my is disabled because of all their tweets and messages. "It's frozen. They froze it." My voice comes out small and broken. I feel so small compared to the power of his fan base. She picks picks up my phone and looks at it for a moment. Her eye brows furrow and her lips set in a hard line.

"Lets do something." She picks up my shoes and purse then hands them to me. "Lets have a best friend day." I stand up once my shoes are on then head down stairs.

"Lets have lunch or play at the park." I smile at the old memories when they come to mind.

"If we're going to the park we are bringing Mylo." I run over to my parent's room and open the door. Laying on my parent's bed is my German Shepherd. He picks his head up when he hears me.

"Come on boy! Lets play!" He jumps up and goes directly to the front. He goes to directly to his leash and picks it up with his mouth. I fasten it to his collar when I make it to him then open the front door. The cold Texas air blows against my face causing me to shiver. I leave the house with a queasy feeling in my stomach. My boy rubs up against my leg trying to gain my attention. He looks up at me with loyal eyes and his tongue sticking out. I may be crazy now because I swear he's telling me through out all the hate and the craziness that surrounds me he's staying by my side. I pet him on his head and stand a bit closer to my dog. We walk two blocks to the small park that is located in my neighborhood. When we make it, I pull Mylo off his leash and let him run free. Lilly and I go straight to the empty swings. We both take a seat in our favorite spots and we just be for this one moment. We sing in silence, the only thing you can hear is the squeak of the swing chains and the blowing of the winter air. One would consider us crazy for being out here in the cold but I welcome the the coldness. it makes me feel something other than pain or nothing at all. I watch as Mylo runs around stretching his legs. I hear the laughs of little girls from somewhere within the park. I look up and see them smiling at me in a sinister way. One girl whispers to the other while her eyes are pinned to me. I look down to my thighs so I don't have to see them.
"Hey, why don't you two go back to your play pin you bunch or bitches-" Before Lilly can finish her sentence I put my hand over her mouth. Her calling them names on my behalf is sweet but it will only cause more trouble. People will hear about it and it will just be another troublesome trend on twitter.

"Lillian, what are you doing?" She stands up from her spot. Her hands are formed into fist and they shake with her anger.
"You have to stand up for yourself!"
"It's not that easy. And you know that!" She lets out a humorless laugh. She shakes her head as if she is clearing out what ever thought is going through mind. 
"It's easy for Harry to go out and party and get wasted. He's having a life while you're wasting away. You're dying Halliana, look at you." I get up from my spot and stand my ground. She may be taller than me but I won't let her push me around.
"And how you know what it's like to be attacked with hate from every side from everyone all around the world, huh?" She doesn't answer my question. She looks at her feet knowing that I am right. "That's right, you don't. I am getting blamed for everything that has happened and what is happening with him. What about him, huh? What is his punishment for breaking me? What did I do? Be a good girlfriend, be the best person I could be?!" I feel my red nose throb from the cold and I begin to sniffle back the tears. Tear form in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

"You're loosing yourself. You don't look like you! And what about Niall? He's wasting his time on you." I glare at her at the mention of Niall. She knows nothing when it comes to Niall and his friendship to me.
"You don't know a thing about Niall! And you know what if I wanted more hate then I would look on twitter or at those girls." I turn on my heel away from her. With tears in my eyes and a red nose, I whistle for my dog. At the sound of my whistle, Mylo comes running towards me. As I bend down to tighten him to his leash, from the corner of my eye, I see a camera man with a camera pressed to his face taking a photo of each step that I take.