Village meets city love

chapter 30 - Soulful confession

Varun and Lavanya sat in the living room, the tension between them palpable. The soft hum of the ceiling fan was the only sound that filled the uncomfortable silence. Varun's eyes locked onto Lavanya's, his heart heavy with regret. "Lavanya, I...I don't know where to start," he said, his voice barely audible. His throat felt dry, and each word seemed to scrape against it as he spoke.

Lavanya's expression remained guarded, her eyes searching his face for sincerity. Her arms were crossed defensively across her chest, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional distance between them. "What changed, Varun? What made you suddenly realize your mistakes?" Her voice was steady, but there was an underlying tremor that betrayed her hurt.

Varun's gaze dropped, unable to meet her piercing eyes. Shame and guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. "I lost you, Lavanya. I lost the one person who made my life worth living. And in that darkness, I realized how much I need you, how much I care for you." His voice cracked, the weight of his confession pressing down on him.

The air in the room seemed to grow denser with each passing second, the atmosphere vibrating with unspoken emotions. The silence between them grew thicker, more oppressive. Varun's eyes pleaded for a chance to continue the conversation in a more private setting. "Lavanya, can we...can we go to the terrace?" he asked, his voice soft, almost a whisper.

Lavanya hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay." Her voice was barely above a murmur, but it held a note of resignation.

They rose from the couch and walked towards the terrace, their footsteps echoing in the quiet house. The city lights twinkled below them like a canvas of stars, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside them. The night air enveloped them, filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers. It was a small solace, a momentary escape from the intensity of their emotions.

Varun leaned against the railing, his fingers gripping it tightly as if to ground himself. "I thought you would understand my struggles, Lavanya," he began, his voice laced with disappointment. "I thought you would see the pain I'm going through, the pressure I'm facing. But it seems like that never happened."

Lavanya's expression softened, her eyes filling with a glimmer of empathy. "What do you mean, Varun? What struggles are you facing?" Her voice was gentler now, a stark contrast to the defensive tone she had used earlier.

Varun's eyes locked onto hers, his heart heavy with emotion. "I'm struggling to keep up with the expectations of our families, of society. I'm struggling to be the perfect husband, the perfect son. And I'm struggling to find myself in all of this." His voice wavered, the vulnerability in his words laid bare.

Lavanya's face was a mix of emotions, her eyes searching Varun's face for sincerity. "I want to believe you, Varun. But it's hard when I feel like I don't even know you." Her voice was tinged with sadness, the pain of their disconnection evident.

"Even though I have been with my mom for 24 years, I haven't fully understood her," Lavanya said, her voice laced with skepticism. "I have known you for only 5 or 6 months. How can I fully understand you? Please tell me."

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Tell me, Varun. What is my identity in this marriage? Do you want me to be a bed warmer, a husband slave, or a free housemaid who takes care of you all? Am I just free labor to earn more money for you to enjoy life?"

When Varun opened his mouth to refuse the accusation, Lavanya raised her hand to stop him and continued, "Because that's what you made me feel, Varun. I am younger than you, but you want me to treat you like a baby, to pamper you, and give you my undivided attention. And you never reciprocate my feelings, Varun."

Varun's eyes locked onto hers, his heart pounding in his chest. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. "I know, Lavanya. I know our marriage was arranged by our parents, and we didn't choose each other. But I want you to know that I've grown to care for you deeply. I want to make this work, not just for our families, but for us."

""You know, Varun, I once thought marriage would be like a fairy tale, but reality is much harsher. We're not heroes or heroines in a movie. Don't expect me to bow to you all the time. Just because I'm from a village doesn't mean I have to treat you like a god when you never treated me like a goddess. I've always been the one to bend, to accommodate your problems, your anger, and your disrespect without question. But from now on, it won't just be me bending—it's going to be both of us. Marriage is a partnership, not a one-sided sacrifice. I'm not a punching bag, Varun. Everyone faces struggles, but real life demands mutual respect and effort."

"I can't understand your unspoken words, Varun, unless you communicate with me. Share your problems with me; we can find solutions together, but never expect me to act like an old-school wife. I came miles away to build a life together with you, not to babysit you. Remember that. You crave your mother in me, and just like you, I crave both my parents in you."

Lavanya's face was a mix of emotions, her eyes searching Varun's face for sincerity. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to trust him, but she was scared. Scared of getting hurt again, scared of being disappointed again. Her mind flashed back to the moments of distance, the misunderstandings, the loneliness she had felt despite being married.

Varun took a deep breath, his voice steady. "I hear you, Lavanya. I know I've let you down, and I've taken you for granted. I haven't been the partner you deserve, and I'm truly sorry for that. But I want to change. I want to learn how to be a better husband, and I need your help to do that."

Lavanya's eyes softened slightly, but her guard was still up. "Actions speak louder than words, Varun. It's not just about saying you'll change; it's about showing it. Can you do that?"

Varun nodded, his resolve strengthening. "I will, Lavanya. I'll show you through my actions. I'll be there for you, listen to you, and support you. We'll work through our problems together, and I'll make sure you never feel invisible or unappreciated again."

The sincerity in his voice touched Lavanya's heart. For the first time in a long while, she felt a glimmer of hope. She wanted to believe him, to give their marriage another chance.

As they stood there on the terrace, under the vast expanse of the night sky, they knew that their journey ahead would be challenging. But with newfound determination and a willingness to work together, they were ready to face whatever came their way.

Varun reached out and gently took Lavanya's hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "We'll take it one step at a time, Lavanya. Together."

Lavanya nodded, her heart swelling with a mixture of hope and caution. "Together, Varun. One step at a time."