INSANITY [wlw]

ELEVEN

TW: SA

ASTORIA ASHFORD

Obsession, the intense, all-consuming focus or passion that dominates one's thoughts, emotions, and actions. The fixation on an idea, object, or person evokes a sense of longing, desire, or even torment.
She tormented me, my very being.

She was a person I despised with every fiber of my being, yet her touch was an addiction I couldn't escape. I yearned for it with an aching desperation, longed for it in the deepest corners of my soul. I desired her touch, needed it like air, craving the very thing that tormented me.

An obsession, like a drug i had to take no matter what, a drug I was addicted to.

"Took you long enough to say." her tone frigid, a tone devoid of warmth, dripping with indifference.

Her strong presence left mine as her footsteps got further and further away from where I was, my apple slowly oxidising on the chopping board, the knife beside it.

I wanted to call out to her, to beg her to come back. I craved her entire being, needing her presence desperately.

But I couldn't, i wouldn't, i shouldn't. It was just wrong. Why did I ache internally? It hurt, it hurt so fucking much.

It just slipped out my mouth, I hadn't meant to say it, she was never supposed to know but now she did, now she knew.

She forced it out of me.

It wasn't my fault.

But I loathed her, I loathed her essence, I loathed her mindless violence, I loathed her smug demeanor, I loathed her.

■

"Fuck." I shoved a slice of apple into my mouth before putting the chopping board and the knife away into the sink as well as grabbing a plate on my way out to put my already cut apples. Tomas had said to leave all the dirty plates and bowls in the sink so I did. I was thankful for him, he made me feel less trapped in this house, trapped alone with her.

Returning to my bedroom, i placed my plate of sliced apples beside me, before shoving a pillow into my face, screaming into it, the pillow muffling my screams.

I hadn't meant to tell her, it wasn't even supposed to come out.

She forced it out of me using that sick little mind of hers.

It was a family deal, I wasn't even 18 yet but they wanted me to marry ronnie for the sake of our family's survival, Ronnie's family would provide a shit load of things for us and in exchange they wanted me. They wanted me purely for the promotion of their company, according to them, there's no one better suited for that job than me they would guarantee our safety as well.

Father was desperate, so he accepted in a heartbeat without any thought, he hadn't even brought it up with me, he just sold me away like I was nothing to him. Nothing at all.

Sighing, I threw the pillow back onto the bed before continuing to stuff apples into my mouth until it was all gone.

■

I scrolled through Instagram, hoping some reels would cheer me up, I wasn't sad or anything, maybe disappointed, I'm not sure. Looking through the stories, I came across hers. Checking the time, it was posted 5minutes ago. I unconsciously inspected the photo, my brows furrowing at my realisation, she was sat ontop of Lucian, his head thrown back in what looked like pleasure. When did Lucian even get here?

Were they doing it right now?

Fuck.

Shaking my head, I quickly swiped away her story not wanting to think about it more. It was her boyfriend, he can come over anytime he wants, it's not my issue, besides, I'm engaged.