Have You Fallen In Love, Yet? | TK

24.

bts268268 This is for you, my bitch💜

Taehyung POV

As I gradually stirred from sleep, my first words, a muttered "Ah, fuck," escaped before my eyes fully focused. In that hazy moment of awakening, there he was - Jungkook, right in front of me. Or rather, beneath me, as I was straddling him, his strong hands holding me close against his warm, bare chest. The memories of the previous night flooded back in a rush, igniting a mix of emotions within me. Fuck, did I actually let him finger me? Oh god, shit.

I quickly scramble away from Jungkook and he whines in protest. "Doll, come back here."

Without giving him a reply, I rush into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I slowly sink down onto my feet, my back pressed up against the door. My mind becomes a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, each one vying for dominance as I replay the events of the previous night in a loop, dissecting every detail in search of clarity.

I had a few drinks last night but not that many. I was drunk but I was still aware of everything that happened. I wanted him. Oh god, I wanted him so bad. I faked being heavily drunk so he wouldn't think I really wanted to have sex but of course he knew that. The overwhelming fear that grips me, it's almost suffocating. This deep, intense fear I have of falling for him is consuming me, a fear I can't seem to shake. How did this happen? How did he slip past the walls I had meticulously built around my heart? I feel like I'm on the verge of a catastrophic emotional eruption, as if all the pent-up feelings swirling within me are about to burst forth uncontrollably. I find myself inexplicably drawn towards him, the inexplicable pull growing stronger with each passing moment. 

Jungkook has kept me happy, he's helped me through my emotional breakdowns but I don't think I'm ready to acknowledge my feelings for him. It feels deceitful to keep him in the dark, yet the weight of it all is too much to bear right now. I never really thought I would fall for him, never really wanted to fall for him. The contract was just so Jungkook doesn't force me to have sex. I never really thought I would fall for him, not even in my wildest dreams. But now that there's all these feelings, all these cravings, I think I'm going to go insane. The fear of deceiving Jungkook gnaws at me, but the crushing weight of uncertainty makes it difficult to open up to him. The rapid escalation of my feelings has caught me off guard, plunging me into a state of uncertainty and fear. I didn't want to see his face one day and then the next I only wanted to see his face for the rest of my life. These feelings are so complicated. I just–I just need a break from all of this.

Wiping away the tears that had welled up in my eyes, a mixture of sadness and determination lingering within me, I gather myself and slowly rise from the floor. Making my way to the sink, the cool water running over my hands brings a momentary sense of solace before I lift my face to cleanse it of the evidence of my emotional turmoil. I walk out of the bathroom and straight into the closet. Grabbing a pair of trousers and a shirt, I quickly change into them.

"Tae, baby, where'd you go?" Jungkook asks as I walk back into the room. He was still sprawled on the bed, his bare skin peeking out from under the duvets.

"Bathroom," I mumble. I grab my phone from the nightstand.

"Are you going somewhere?" Jungkook asks.

"Yes," I reply. Fuck, his voice is so majestic. All raspy  and hot.

"Wait, I'll come with you," Jungkook exclaims, throwing away the duvets.