Two Sides of Love

19

5 days before the graduation. Nag apply agad ako at nag pasa ng forms sa UPCAT.

Kahit pa lutang ako dahil walang mensahe kay Esmael ng buong araw, sinikap kong tapusin ang agenda ko for today.

Mahirap na, baka mamaya ay may malaman pa akong lalo kong ikasisira, ang importante ay natapos ko na ang nais kong gawin ngayong araw.

Im here in our class room, tulala habang nakatingin sa bakanteng upuan sa tabi ko.

Louise used to be here, we use to brighten each other's day. I couldn't help but to ask myself

What went wrong?

Nagkamali ako, akala ko sa tagal naming mag-kaibigan ay wala nang makakapag-pahiwalay sa amin.

Akala ko kilala ko na si Louise sa loob ng limang taon ngunit gaya ni Esmael, mukang nagkamali ako.

That's when I realized that I've been a bad bestfriend to her, selfish ako, eh.

Puro nalang problema ko, puro nalang tungkol sa akin, puro na lamang ka-letchehan ng buhay ko ang sinasabi ko ngunit kahit kailan hindi ko sinikap na tanungin kung ayos lang ba siya.

I knew it, alam kong mahilig sarilihin ni Louise ang mga problema niya. She isn't the type of a girl like me na konting kibot ay nanghihina.

Inisip kong matapang siya, kaya niya lahat. I hate myself that I thought she's independent enough to handle her own struggles and problems.

Ang tanong ngayon, deserve niya ba ang kaibigan na katulad ko?

I just hope na kahit ganito ang nangyayari sa akin ay maging valedictorian pa rin ako, I don't know what to feel kung pati iyon ay mawawala sa akin.

I gave my all for this, iyon lang ang gusto kong maigawad sa akin. That certificate would surely satisfy my academic validation.

Bumalik ako sa reyalidad nang maramdaman ko ang presensya ng teacher ko.

"Elia, may I have a moment?" Said my teacher

"O-o-opo.."

She sighed"Elia, I want to talk to you about your grades this semester. You've always been an exceptional student, and I know how hard you've worked to maintain that valedictorian position."

"Thank you, Maam. It hasn't been easy, but I've tried my best." I faked smile

"I know, Elia. But this semester… your grades have dipped. Not significantly, but enough to affect your overall average. You're still a top student, but it's not where you usually are." Rinig ko sa boses nito ang disappointment na pilit niyang itinatago sa maamo niyang boses.

My eyes widened "A-a-ano p-po? P-pero I studied so hard! I thought I aced those exams and practical researches.."

"Sometimes life throws curveballs, Elia. You've been dealing with so much lately. Anak, let yourself breathe, magpahinga ka-"

"But being valedictorian means everything to me." My dreams were shattering

She placed a hand on my shoulder "Elia, being valedictorian isn't just about grades. It's about resilience, determination, and growth. Life isn't linear; it's messy and unpredictable. Maybe this setback is an opportunity for you to learn something deeper."

"Anong ibig niyong sabihin?" I said with a teary eyes.

"Use this disappointment as fuel. Maybe you'll discover a new strength within you, one that transcends GPAs and titles."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Wala ako sa sariling lumabas ng room, hindi ko rin nakita si Esmael ngayong araw.