Two Sides of Love

12

The living room is dimly lit, tension hanging in the air.

"Ma, pa, I'm sorry. Na-invite lang po ako sa birthday ni nayrb last last night."

Mama and papa glared at me

"You disappeared without a word! Hindi ka man lang nag paalam Elia, We were worried sick!" Panimulang sermon ni mama

"You think you can just run off whenever you please? You're still our daughter! Nag-away kami ng mama mo dahil sayo!" He paused and sighed "Is this your way of rebellion, El!?"

Nanginginig ako sa takot, sa kaba, sa kung ano ma ang narinig at maririnig ko pa sa kanilang dalawa.

Growing up, I used to be so close with my dad. He used to tell me I'm his princess. He used to be my protector. But things eventually changes, habang lumalaki ako, lalo silang nagiging mahigpit sa akin. Sa buhay ko, sa kung ano ang gusto nilang maging ako.

Of course being me, Elia. I obeyed them. I badly wanted my parents to be proud of having me.

Knowing me, i am people pleaser. I'll do anything to please people around me, it's a curse, I guess?

"I'm an adult, ma, pa. I needed my freedom."

"Freedom? Why? Because of your writing dreams? Your so-called independence?" Mama said sarcastically

My chest tightened. My parents' disappointment cuts deep.

"Yes, about my dreams. About who I want to be." I said with my breaking voice

"Dreams won't pay the bills, Elia. You're wasting your life chasing fantasies. Nasa reyalidad ka!" Papa shouted

P-pero pangarap ko ito. Ito ang gusto kong makamtan, bakit nila iyon pinagkakait?

"It's not a waste! I won't settle for mediocrity like you guys did." Wala sa sariling galit na sagot ko

"You're selfish, Elia. Always putting yourself first. Makasarili ka! Iniisip lang namin ng papa mo kung ano ang sa tingin naming makakabuti sa buhay mo dahil anak ka namin!"

"Kahit yung makakabuti para sa akin sa paningin niyo ay unti unting pinapatay ang totoong kasiyahan ko? Hanggang kailan ma, pa? Hanggang kailan niyo ako ikukulong? Buong buhay ko lagi ko kayong sinusunod. Pinag bubutihan ko palagi dahil gusto ko.... Gusto kong maipagmalaki ninyo ako tulad ng pag mamalaki ninyo kay kuya!" I cried  "buong buhay ko wala akong ginawa kung hindi magpasikat sa inyo!"

"Bastos ka!"

"Maybe I have to. Maybe I can't keep living for your approval." I said

"You're out of line, Elia Cliteria!" Papa shouted

"And you're suffocating me!" I shouted back

Sa buong buhay ko, ngayon ko lang sila nasagot. Ngayon lang ako nag karoon ng tapang.

Naalala ko tuloy ang lyrics ng paborito kong kanta ni katy perry na mas nagustuhan ko pa dahil kinanta ni Esmael.

You make me
Feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me, just one touch
Now baby I believe this is real
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back

I stormed out, slamming the door behind me. Alone on the street, rain soaking me, I wonder if dreams are worth this pain.

Pero tama ang kanta...

take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈