Two Sides of Love

14

Buong araw akong lutang, kahit mga messages ni Louise hindi ko ma-seen.

All this fucking time alam ni Louise ang plano ni Esmael? Argh! I hate it here.

My heart raced as I unfolded the confession letter, its inked words etching themselves into my memory. Esmael's meticulous planning was both endearing and unsettling.

The handkerchief, a seemingly incident where Louise thought it was mine because of the initials, now revealed itself as part of Esmael's plan leading me to him. The realization left me breathless.

Nagpupula ang aking pisngi, tinatraydor ko ang sarili. Ang saya sobra, isang hindi ko naranasan mula nang matanggap ko ang greatest heartbreak ko.

I had built walls around my heart, fortified them against vulnerability. Yet here was Esmael, breaking those walls with every carefull move. I hated the way my pulse quickened, the way my thoughts circled back to him.

Anong ginagawa mo sa akin, Esmael?

Pag-ibig? Hindi ako sigurado. Parang pagtayo sa gilid ng bangin, nahahati sa pagkakaroon ng takot at ligaya. Ang pag-amin ni Esmael sa akin ay binago ang aking tahimik na buhay, iniwan akong nagtatanong sa lahat.

Ito ba ay magandang bagay? O magiging sanhi ito ng pagkabasag ng aking mahinang balanse?

As I folded the letter back into its envelope, I wondered if love was a curse or a blessing.

Marahil ito ay pareho, isang kirot na hindi nasusukat ng rason, nagbabanta na ako'y malulunod. At sa sandaling iyon, napagtanto ko na ang presensya ni Esmael ay naging bahagi na ng a buhay ko, kahit pa hindi ko ito inaasahan o hinahanap.

I'll start living my teenage dream.

And my teenage dream is to be with him.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The library is my sanctuary, a quiet refuge from the cacophony of life. Rows of books stand like sentinels, their spines whispering secrets. I sit by the window, my mind adrift in the cloud, pondering the enigma that is Esmael.

Hawak ko ang cellphone ko, ang screen nito'y salamin na nagpapakita ng mukha kong nag-aalinlangan.

Ang mga problems sa statistics at probability ay nagiging malabo. Nandito ako para mag review pero nalulutang ako.

Ang pag-amin ni Esmael,biglaan, hindi inaasahan.

Lumulutang ako, walang tali, hindi ko masabi o mapaliwanag ano ang kakaibang pakiramdam na 'to.

And then it happens. My phone slips from my grasp, gravity asserting its dominance. It crashes to the floor, a symphony of shattered glass. I stare at the fractured screen, frustration bubbling within me. How can a device so small hold such power over my emotions?

Sa sobrang lutang ko, nahulog sa sahig ang cellphone ko!

My phone won't open. The screen remains dark, mocking my patience.

Frustration surged within me. Why now, universe? Why this confession, this phone mishap?

I glanced around the library, half-expecting the walls to whisper advice. Louise, my bestfriend would’ve known what to do.

But she was busy with her own calculus and literature problems, oblivious to my turmoil.

I picked up the shattered phone, its digital heart still beating faintly.