An Affinity Within Stars
ravenoirev
FEEDBACK
TEEN FICTION CATEGORY
JudgeRainydusk
The book cover is aesthetic and it fits well with the title. The description is strong; the details are helpful to understand the plot. The characters move in the plot naturally like very real people, and the setting is vividly created by the author.
About the grammar, apart from very few minor typo errors it is a well-written piece -- just avoid double punctuations (e.g. "Why did you save me?!" = choose which one is necessary to convey the message or impact. In this case, drop the question mark since the sentence is obviously a question and leaving the exclamation will show that it is a scream). Avoid also the repetition of exclamations more than 3 times in a row or in one paragraph. Sometimes we don't need exclamations to make the readers know the sentence is a form of shouting. If the whole paragraph is all about yelling, try to put the "!" at the beginning, middle, and end. There's a few minor word mistake (e.g. suway=saway etc.). There is no perfect grammar but just be careful.
The plot is interesting, raises curiosity/empathy from the opening, especially the opening of the chapter one. The way the author opens every chapter with action is just my taste! The structure of the plot has a solid shape. The narration is flowing and with conviction.
Last but not the least, it is perfect as a teen fiction with a strong touch of slice of life.
BINABASA MO ANG
Feedback From Us (BYR)
Ngẫu nhiênA part of Break Your Record 2024 activity. Here lies the feedback from our judges to our winners and some contestants.
