Feedback From Us (BYR)

𝐦𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐚 - I

HIRAYA
By mslialuna

COMMENTS

FANTASY CATEGORY
Judge Exrineance

― BOOK COVER 5 / 5

Besides saying it's captivating, I believe that it will certainly grab the reader's attention. The woman on the cover truly encapsulates the character of Sylvie, helping readers to visualize her features more vividly.

― DESCRIPTION: 6 / 7

I recall reading the story previously and I may be confusing it with another one, but I distinctly remember Dylan being mentioned in the synopsis as the second male lead. However, I noticed that he is no longer present in it. If my recollection is incorrect, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I have nothing further to add as the story was flawless.

― CHARACTERS: 20 / 23

I can truly sense the characters and their unique emotions, which adds depth to them. My curiosity is piqued the most by Jon Von, especially due to his contrasting nature in Sylvie's dream(?).

― GRAMMATICAL/TYPOGRAPHICAL: 12 / 12

Thus far, I am content with what I have read. I have not come across any dust. The narrative is quite clear. It is evident that the author has a polished writing style.

― PLOT: 23 / 25

Once again, I want to emphasize that science fiction is a different world for me, and I'm truly grateful to have read this story as it has expanded my knowledge of the genre. I must say, the plot is exceptionally well-developed.

― NARRATIVE: 18 / 20

In my opinion, I stand by my previous statement. I find the story to be more effective and appropriate in full English. When Filipino language is used, which accounts for about 20% of the novel, I am sometimes surprised by it and reminded of its presence. However, I don't see any issue with the storytelling itself. It remains engaging and creative.

― GENRE: 8 / 8

The story packs a powerful punch, residing in a unique branch of fantasy. I appreciate the otherworldly atmosphere it conveys.

― OVERALL NOTE

Considering the nature of this competition, I need to maintain a technical perspective. However, I must express my genuine appreciation for Hiraya and how much I enjoy reading it. I was eagerly anticipating a new update, but unfortunately, it has not been released yet.

FEEDBACK

― What was my first impression as a reader?

Initially, I anticipated the story to be a dystopian SciFi based on the description. However, as I delved deeper into the plot, I discovered it is actually a captivating sojourney through space.

― Which character did I like out of everyone?

In all honesty, I do not have a favorite character in the story. This does not indicate any disdain towards the characters or the story itself. I do have uncertainties and suspicions about all of them. However, I find Eva intriguing. The way she is depicted as the possessive and territorial fiancée of Jon Von piques my interest. I personally question whether Jon Von genuinely loves her. I believe there must be a underlying reason for his agreement to be in a relationship with her. This leads me to wonder about Eva's true nature and the strength of the hold she has over Jon Von.

― Which unexpected scene left me emotional?

Observing the intimate scene involving Jon Von and Eva with Sylvie as a bystander did have an effect on me, although I comprehend their relationship. It slightly dampened my enthusiasm to see him matched with Sylvie and raised some doubts about his history with her.

― Which part of the book did I like? (bc, title, plot~)

From my perspective, the narrative is what truly captivates me. It evokes memories of when I was deeply immersed in reading foreign novels, providing a similar sense of enjoyment and fulfillment.

― What did I not like about the story?

Like I mentioned earlier, there's really nothing about the story that I don't like. Can't wait for the update, but no rush, author!

― Advice

Besides my feelings about the language, I don't have much else to comment on. The story is perfect the way it is, so there's no need for any changes.