Feedback From Us (BYR)

𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚_𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 - III

VIDE NOIR
by elina_ailiniel

Judge JelyMarrianeSB

Generally, Vide Noir strikingly sing out the ambiance of a retro sense setting which is really a refreshing read. Malikot na pinaikot ni elina_ailiniel ang istorya sa isang paglalakbay ng bidang si Wesley sa mahiwagang lugar ng Frozen Pines para lamang mauwi na tulungan si Frankie na hanapin ang katotohanan sa tunay nitong pagkatao, sa kung paano at bakit ito naging biktima ng kinamumuhian niyang vide noir.

What I liked most about it is nangibabaw ‘yung konsepto ng vide noir sa kabuuan ng story. ‘Yung dreary atmosphere na ine-evoke ng kuwento ang nakapagdala rin sa uniqueness nito na binigyang kulay naman ng mga main characters. That’s why it balanced out. The tension building is good, too. Na as the story moved forward, may inaabangan din akong bago lalo na nang ma-introduce ang tungkol sa Emerald Star. Napakamahiwaga lang, akmang-akma sa tema ng fantasy.

Nagustuhan ko rin ‘yung creativeness sa prologue at kung paano siya na-incorporate sa story. Swak lang.

Siguro, what I recommend for you to work on is the technicalities, like some misspellings, the use of interobangs, and a minor check on word use and their meanings. The narration can still be improved as you read through it again. Dahil alam naman nating lahat na ang mga kuwento ay nag-e-evolve habang patuloy natin silang sinusulat.

Overall, this is a search for what is lost. Kung may nawawala ka man o may hinahanap ka, maybe this story could help you find it.

Great job, elina_ailiniel! Congratulations, again!