Feedback From Us (BYR)

𝐄𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐏𝐞𝐧

Purple Soul
by EaglePen

COMMENTS

FANTASY CATEGORY
Judge Exrineance

— BOOKCOVER: 4 / 5

I believe the book cover design is simple yet expressive. If I may make a suggestion, I recommend choosing a title color that contrasts with the pinkish violet hue of the background to ensure it stands out effectively. Opting for a color similar to the background may not provide the desired impact for the title, even though I appreciate its size despite the color similarity.

— DESCRIPTION: 5 / 7

It was able to provide a concise synopsis that highlights the main character's soul color as the key reason behind the title. The use of the phrase "...goes wrong" instead of "...is wrong" in the question "what if the prophecy goes wrong?" adds a layer of intrigue to the story, making readers ponder about the potential mishap in the prophecy.

— CHARACTERS: 20 / 23

I find the characters in the story to be quite mysterious. I have some doubts and suspicions about all of them, including Lira. At times, their actions seem questionable to me because the motives of others are unclear, yet they believe them without any hesitation. I'm looking forward to seeing how the characters will evolve as the story progresses.

— GRAMMATICAL/TYPOGRAPHICAL: 11 / 12

Perhaps the author could benefit from revisiting each chapter multiple times in order to potentially identify areas for improvement, as I didn't find any significant errors to mention.

— PLOT: 24 / 25

I found it intriguing to perceive the color of one's soul through their eyes, a concept that was unfamiliar to me. Typically, the color of a person's eyes reflects the element of their power. My curiosity was piqued when a prophecy mentioned the purple soul. Even though it is just a guess, I firmly believe that there must be more than one individual with a purple soul.

— NARRATIVE: 20 / 20

The narrative is well-crafted and shows promise. With some additional attention to detail and refinement, it has the potential to improve even further. I believe adding more descriptive elements would enhance the overall quality. While your dialogues and monologues are strong, vivid descriptions can help readers better visualize the scenes. It's important to strike a balance and not overwhelm the reader with excessive detail.

— GENRE: 8 / 8

Since the very beginning of the story, there has been a hint of fantasy, which I find intriguing. However, because there are still fewer than ten chapters, it hasn't fully grabbed my attention yet. I am eager to see what the next chapters have in store.

— OVERALL NOTE

Given the nature of the competition, it is necessary for me to focus on technical aspects. However, setting that aside, I found Purple Soul to be quite enjoyable. It exhibits a lot of promise in terms of content, and I am eagerly anticipating more from it.

FEEDBACK

— What was my first impression as a reader?

Considering the theme of prophecies often centered around royal families, I anticipated that this one would also focus on a monarch family. For example, Lira could be depicted as a princess or saintess in a specific kingdom. Her main challenge would then revolve around preserving her status once the prophecy is revealed.

— Which character did I like out of everyone?

I am quite fond of Sandra and Shantalle, who are Lira's little sisters. Perhaps it is their youth and innocence that make me admire them, as I have never doubted their character. They serve as the emotional pillars for Lira, which undoubtedly provide her with much-needed support during her adventures.

— Which unexpected scene left me emotional?

I have not come across that scene yet as the story is still in its early stages. However, the moment when they had to descend the mountain in the first chapter was quite disheartening. The parents being apprehended by the soldiers, leaving the young children without their protective presence, would undoubtedly make it challenging for them to navigate the harsh realities of self-reliance.

— Which part of the book did I like?

The story has captured my genuine interest. I am filled with anticipation to discover the direction it will take. The initial ten chapters serve as a strong base for the narrative, introducing key characters and developing the world. However, despite the inclusion of elements like the purple soul, spell enchantments, and magician, I felt a slight absence of fantasy ambiance.

— What did I not like about the story

Perhaps providing more detailed descriptions could enhance the reader's ability to imagine what a magic spell looks like. In many dramas and movies with magic spells and arrays, each one is executed in a unique way. For instance, when Lira chanted the violet spell to hide in the cave, it would be beneficial to offer a visual depiction for the readers to fully immerse themselves in the story. While Lira mentioned it was not the time to appreciate her magic, adding more visual details next time she casts a spell could help readers engage their creative minds in this fantasy world you've created.

— Advice

Beyond the points mentioned earlier, there isn't much else for me to add. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the story.