The list of sinners

...Donovan...

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are announcing your descent. The local time is 10:15 am. For your safety and that of others, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened and keep the aisle clear until we land. Thank you!"

The plane landed in Oslo and as it slowed down on the runway, a mixture of nerves and expectations passed through my veins: expectations to face reality as a mother like her deserved. As I passed through the airport buzzing with calls and sounds of machinery, memories flooded me violently. Memories of a troubled childhood, full of secrets, filled with emotional manipulations, constant criticisms, and an endless need for validation.

The train journey from the airport to my childhood city seemed endless. Returning to Norway was supposed to be a reconnection with my roots, but instead, it felt like entering a battlefield of deceit. I glanced at the towering mountains challenging the sky with their snow-capped peaks. The magnificent fjords carving their way through ancient valleys seemed to weave a tale of wonder. The beautiful Norwegian landscape that was once a source of comfort now felt suffocating, where truth was a victim and belief a distant memory. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart and resolve. This was not just a trip but a confrontation with my inner demons.

As the train slowed its pace and decided to stop at the station, I made my way to a very familiar terrain and my memories. The fresh air and the scent of pine filled my nostrils. I continued walking on the cobblestone streets where my steps echoed my determination. Those streets that once held many painful memories now seemed like remnants of the past.

I found the house thanks to the address Livani gave me. My mother lived there with her new husband after her second marriage. As I arrived at her house, I cast a scrutinizing look. I hesitated as I stood in front of the white door. My hand trembled with nervousness as I raised it to knock on a door that had been closed to me for so long. The sound of my heartbeats filled my ears, drowning out the noise of the world.

I knocked three times, consistently. I didn't expect that door to open after so many years, but I couldn't believe my eyes when she stood before me, the embodiment of all my pain and suffering.

"Donovan?" she said in astonishment. "I'm truly surprised to see you. I didn't think you would come back here."

My mother stood at the doorstep. All I could see was an empty smile and cold eyes.

"What do you need now?" she asked ironically.

"Are we going to talk here, at the door?" I asked.

"Of course not," she said.

I stepped inside and felt the warmth envelop me, but despite that, the house didn't provide me any comfort. In the depths of my being, it felt like the air of manipulations still lingered, but something told me that perhaps within that negative realm, there were pockets of truth waiting to be uncovered. That's what my intuition told me.

"Are you alone in the house, Mrs. Nielsen?"

"Mrs. Nielsen?" I heard behind my back. "Donovan, I am your mother, and that's how it will be until the end."

"Do you deserve to be called a mother for what you did in the past?" I asked, confronting her.

Her smile didn't waver. Seriousness continued to dominate her stature.

"What does that mean?"

"Don't play the ignorant with me," I told her. "Why did you take her away from me?"

"I see," she said. "Are you talking about Natalie, aren't you?"

She starts to tap her lip in thought as she positions herself next to me.