Drowning With You

CH. 16 💋

LOUIE'S POV

TW: Homophobic slurs

Finally, day one of the meet is finished and we can all go get food. Earlier, one of the assistant coaches brought us sandwiches which was great since we all were starving, but now I need more. Then we can get to our motel rooms and lay down, which I so desperately need. We all do. We've been up since at 4am at most.

I talked to a guy earlier, he complimented me on the two events I swam, which he had mentioned watching. It makes me feel a bit giggly, having someone come up to me specifically, I have been feeling isolated every since I was outed to the team and school.

He was talking and I was talking and it was fun, but.... It didn't feel right. I wished I could feel something for him, something other than a talking buddy. He seemed into me and I liked the attention, just a little.

Winter was staring the whole time, holding her phone or her book, but never actually looking down at either of them. I couldn't help myself from looking up at her on the bleachers a few times. Her hair had dried by that time and it was wavy down to her shoulders, her blue eyes staring into my motherfucking soul.

"Alright guys! I would like to leave! It's hot in here and we have been here for hours!" She yells, ushering us out of the pool facility. The relief we all have once we are all in our dry clothes and out in fresh air, knowing food and a bed is soon to come... sweet heaven.

Getting back on the bus, I somehow still gravitate towards the back of the bus, where Winter is already sitting. She's got her own earbuds in, which she hadn't brought out the entire ride here, instead stealing mine.

I'm not going to lie, I've been slightly avoiding her. Whenever she is around, I get goosebumps and thoughts about her that I just can't handle. I miss her presence, but it's overwhelming. In a good way, yes, but scary.

She's pulled back since, and I hate it, despite being the one to pull away first. This is my chance to be around her, just sitting on a bus like a normal person, proving that I can be chill.

I sit there and she doesn't look up, instead blank staring her book like she's actually reading it. Her music is loud, I can hear part of it but can't make out any tune.

I don't grab my own earbuds, instead stealing one from her and placing it in my ear. She doesn't react, doesn't look up or at me, doesn't scowl, just continues to look down.

"Winter." I say, her silence driving me nuts. Shit, she's causing me to go crazy. Again. And she doesn't even have to do anything.

"Yes?" She asks, calm and collected. She's frustrated with me, maybe even a bit angry. I didn't do anything to her, not directly, but I know that whatever is happening between us is more complicated and easy to disrupt.

I caused it, too. I stopped talking to her today after the card games, I pissed her off. Why am I trying to fix this? Fix us? We aren't friends. No. Of course not. But I can't stop myself from trying, because fuck if I don't want to stop whatever this is.

"Sorry. For ignoring you." I apologize, not even embarrassed I am saying this to the woman I hate. I hate her, right? Fuck, I don't know anymore.

"I don't care. Remember? I don't care about people, let alone you. I'm the fucking ice queen, right?" She continues to not look at me, causing me to pull her jaw towards me. She quickly rips away, looking in front of us at the other girls, making sure nobody saw that.

Right. I am the gay. Who wants to be touched by me? I back off, huffing as I lean back in the seat.

We get to the restaurant and it's a simple diner, nothing fancy, but smells amazing. A cheeseburger and fries... Yes.