Drowning With You

CH. 19 ❄️

WINTER'S POV

We get back to the hotel room after the rest of our events.

Louie's words resonated a bit, I won't lie.

I'm not saying they changed my entire mindset of everything I do, but it was a perspective that maybe I will consider.

I shower first, taking my time. It's strange being in a room alone with her after being surrounded by dozens of people earlier, especially when all I wanted all day was to be right here.

It's not awkward exactly, but knowing our lips were on each other's last night... It's all I can think about.

I hate it. I hate this feeling. I'm trying to ignore it but she's so pretty and her eyes... they're beautiful. I hate that things have changed. Silence right now is full of tension. It's not like usual, calm and comfortable. 

After changing my clothes, I walk back out to see the pull-out couch open and Louie laying under the covers.

The fuck? Why is she sleeping there when the bed is perfectly fine? We agreed to forget about it—now she's doing this?

This shouldn't bother me, it's a perfectly normal thing to do—sleeping separately—but everything in me wants to be right beside her. And now, she is making a big thing of this. Or am I making this into a bigger thing than it really is?

No, I'm not overthinking this. We agreed that last night's thing was a mistake. Obviously, she knows that considering she's the one who stopped it. If she hadn't pulled away, if we had kept going, would I have regretted it? If it had ended well and she hadn't embarrassed me by rejecting me, I doubt I would have considered it a mistake. But it's in the past. She didn't end well, and she did reject me. End of story.

I stop myself from thinking about last night, not able to get over how terrible the chain of events went. Instead, I think about the meet.

Earlier, Louie's 200 breaststroke event ended up with her in first place. Gods, she is an amazing swimmer. I can hate on her all I want, but it's all lies.

She tries hard and it pays off. I was wrong when I thought she didn't try. The only difference is she doesn't let everything ruin her. She lets it go, most of the time.

"Going to sleep?" I ask, stupidly. Obviously, she's going to bed, why did I ask her that?

"Uh huh," she mumbles, scrolling on her phone as usual.

I want to ask why she chose the couch. Am I really so bad that she can't even sleep next to me? I didn't realize how much I could fuck everything up so quickly. Did I really think that what I did could have ended up alright? No, I guess not. I didn't really think at all before I'd kissed her.

Fuck, I'm overthinking this again. This is fine.

I lay on the mattress and sleep facing the couch, giving myself the little comfort of her across from me, instead of next to me.

The light of her phone continues to light the room as I turn off the lamp.

"Louie?" I whisper into the darkness.

"Yeah?" The phone light shuts off and I hear some shuffling around.

"You did great. Your relay went well, too. You carried them all with your breaststroke," I say, only wanting to make conversation. I just want to hear her voice.

"Why are you still here?" She asks after a short pause. Confusion hits me,

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be here?" I wonder, her question is random, especially since I've had to stick around for her shit for way too long. Why stop now?

"I mean, why are you still in this room? Why didn't you leave with the rest of them? Why have you been hanging around with me? Are you trying to mess with me?" The series of questions takes me for a loop.

Does she think I am just like the others? Haven't I proven that I'm not? I mean, I kissed her last night. Did she think that was a joke?

"What? No!" I realize my voice is starting to get louder, so I go back to whispering, "no, I just—I like being around you. I don't care who you are in to, I don't care if I sleep in the same room with you or the same bed." I didn't have to add that last part.

No response from her, so I continue.

"And y'know what? I kind of enjoy being around you. You can be a nice person, I guess. When you aren't being a raging bitch," I add in, necessarily.

"I guess you aren't that bad, either," she replies, and I can feel the smile that forms on my face.

"Goodnight Louie."

"Goodnight ice queen."

A/N: IDK HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THISSSS

also i am reading the naturals and AHHHH i love it. i'm on book three guys im obsessed.