Drowning With You

CH. 19 ❄️

WINTER'S POV

We get back to the hotel room after the rest of our events, my 100 butterfly went much better than I had thought. My hopes weren't high, so the results appeased me.

Louie's words resonated a bit, changing the way I think about what I do. My expectations of what I want to achieve, making them reasonable and mine.

I'm not gonna keep this mindset, but for the day, it was nice to let myself live for a moment.

I shower first, taking my time. It's different being in a room alone with her after being surrounded by dozens of people earlier.

It's not awkward exactly, but knowing our lips were on each others last night... I can't pay attention to anything else.

I hate it. I hate this feeling. I'm trying to ignore it but she's so pretty and her eyes are angelic. I hate not talking to her, hearing her voice. Those times when everything is calm and it's just us.

Like in the sauna or in bed last night.

After changing my clothes, I walk back out to see the pull-out couch open and Louie laying under the covers.

The fuck? Why is she there when the bed is perfectly fine? We agreed to forget about it— now she's doing this?

This shouldn't bother me, it's a perfectly normal thing to do— sleeping separately— but everything in me wants to be right beside her. I want to be able to touch her.

Louie's 400 breaststroke event ended up with her in first place. Gods, she is an amazing swimmer. I can hate on her all I want, but it's all lies.

She tries hard and it pays off. I was wrong when I thought she didn't try. The only difference is she doesn't let everything ruin her. She lets it go, most of the time.

It's interesting, I wish I could have that mindset. Too many of my wishes involve her.

"Going to sleep?" I ask, stupidly. Obviously she's going to bed, why did I ask her that?

"Uh huh." She mumbles, scrolling on her phone as usual.

I want to ask why. Why did she choose the couch? Am I really that bad that she can't even sleep next to me? After last night, was it that bad?

Fuck, I'm overthinking this again. This is fine.

I lay on the mattress and sleep facing the couch, giving myself the little comfort of her across from me, instead of next to me.

The light of her phone continues to light the room as I turn off the lamp.

"Louie?" I whisper into the darkness.

"Yeah?" The phone light shuts off and I hear some shuffling around.

"You did great. Your relay went well too. You carried them all with your breaststroke." I say, only wanting to make conversation.

"Why are you still here?" She asks after a short pause. Confusion hits me,

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be here?" I wonder, her question is random, especially since I've had to stick around for her shit for way too long. Why stop now?

"I mean, why are you still in this room? Why didn't you leave with the rest of them? Why have you been hanging around with me? Are you trying to mess with me?" The series of questions takes me for a loop.

Does she think I am just like the others? Haven't I proven that I am not?

"What? No!" I realize my voice is starting to get louder so I go back to whispering, "No, I just— I like being around you. I don't care who you are in to, I don't care if I sleep in the same room with you or the same bed." I didn't have to add that last part.

No response from her, so I continue.

"And y'know what? I kind of enjoy being around you. You can be a nice person, I guess. When you aren't being a raging bitch." I add in, necessarily.

"I guess you aren't that bad, either." She replies and a smile forms on my face.

"Goodnight Louie."

"Goodnight ice queen."

A/N: IDK HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THISSSS

also i am reading the naturals and AHHHH i love it. i'm on book three guys im obsessed.