Drowning With You

CH. 12 ❄️

WINTER'S POV

Why did I take her to ice cream? Why was I being so nice to her? How was it so easy?

It didn't take any effort to just talk to her. I... enjoyed it... Her presence wasn't like the usual anger and rage that often circled around us.

It was different and nice. And we finally made some sort of agreement. I get my whiteboard speech attention and she'll somehow force me to relax. Ironic.

She missed practice all week, somehow I let her skip one of our lessons, since even I can admit that she has had a shitty week. One was fine, two was cutting it. I was over her self-wallowing.

Louie can say she doesn't care all she would like, but no matter how much she tries, words can hurt.

Part of me just hated knowing she was alone. Sure, she had that friend of hers... Matt, is it? But other than that, I saw her around campus in between classes. She looked terrible.

I felt jealous of how easily she ordered a double scoop of ice cream. How easy she ate it, no guilt or regret, no shame or anxiety. Just pure happiness while eating a dessert. I wish I could feel that.

Instead, I worry about my athletic status and what's going to happen if I lose control of my nutrition and body. I worry. Obviously, and embarrassing, she gave me a small food talk for swimmers.

I hate that she could see through my desire for the food, the small loss of control. It was little, but I hated the feeling of letting myself give in. It felt better with her. She was eating the ice cream and doesn't seem affected.

Her small pep talk helped, actually. It's stupid, but she was there and nothing else worried me.

Now, I am back in the basement. Waiting for the girl who I hate yet yearn to be around. I miss her terrible presence.

Fuck.

Loud steps come from the stairs that lead to down here, followed by the raging bitch herself.

She's pouty, most likely because it's way too early for detention. We wake up earlier for practice, but this is Saturday. It's meant to be the day where we sleep in and stay in bed.

"Hey." I say, immediately regretting those words. Why did I decide to speak to her so soon? She's only been here for less than a minute and I already want to talk to her-- as if I'm desperate for anyone who will listen.

"Hey." She huffs out, then throws off her side bag and pulls out her book.

Alright, maybe no conversation.

An hour in, I look up from my own book to fine Louie peacefully sleeping on her lap. I smile a little, finally seeing her so neutral.

She's always good at hiding emotions, but without her guard, she's just so light and soft.

What is wrong with me? God.

She blinks awake, tilting her face up to meet my eyes, which were on her long before she woke.

"You're staring." She states, no question in her voice.

"Does it bother you?" I ask. Fuck, that was not the right thing to say. I should have denied it, should have told her I wasn't looking at her.

"Never." Fuck, and she replies with this? Why is my face heating?

I force my head down, cowering my view away from her.

She doesn't mind when I watch her? Stare at her? I mind when I look at her! Something is fucked up with me right now if this is in my head.

I can feel a smirk blazing from the raging bitch across the room so I take out my book and continue reading.

I show her stupid kindness and she acts like this; sleeping and bratty.

Okay, maybe that's just normal louie in the morning, but I'm done with it. I'm tired too.

So I sit in the basement for another few hours with her, few words given.

Still, I find her presence oddly comforting. Is this how I go crazy?

A/N: I HATE THIS CHAPTER IM SORRY