My Ghost King

I miss you

Mu Qing

It's your fault he's gone

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It's your fault Jun Wu had him killed

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You shouldn't have gotten involved with him

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If you hadn't fallen in love with him he would still be alive

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All you know how to do is hurt people

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First your mother, then his highness, and now Feng Xin

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You don't deserve to be happy

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You don't deserve his highness showing you any sympathy

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You don't deserve anything

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You never did

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You never will

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"Master please, you must stop this". Zhanmado said walking into the bathroom I was in. Blood was covering both my wrists as I silently cried and watched him clean and bandage them both.

"I know". He came and sat next to me on the floor and placed his arms around me. Immediately I placed my head against him and continued to cry. Zhanmado was more than just my spiritual weapon, he was my best friend.

"His palace is gone. Our home is gone". He held me tight. During the night while everyone was asleep Jun Wu had Fen Xin's palace burned to the ground. He's the emperor so he didn't need to tell anyone what he was doing. The only ones that care however are me and his highness.

"He took everything from me, all of this is my fault". "No master it isn't, Feng Xin loved you more than anything in this world. You and Cuo Cuo were his world. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you".

"If I didn't love him he would still be alive. He didn't send Hua Ri on the mission because he wanted to punish me by getting rid of him. We both know it". "Yes but what you need right now is to be comforted. Feng Xin wouldn't want to see you hurting yourself". I cried more. "Please tell me about him".

Flashback to Xianle

Anger wasn't the emotion I was feeling as I walked out of my ex's house. It wasn't sadness either if I'm being honest, all I felt in this moment was utter disappointment. Not disappointed in him but in myself.

Just like all of my exes he got what he wanted out of me and traded me in for someone better when he grew tired.

It's my own fault. When am I going to learn no one will ever truly want me

I took my hair out of its ponytail and headed to the only place that would be able to numb my feelings for a bit. It was mid-day so I knew there wouldn't be a lot of people and to make things better it was my day off which meant I could get as drunk as I wanted.

"What can I get for you, sir"? The bartender asked as I made my way over to the counter and sat down. "A double shot of whiskey straight". "Coming right up". He said walking off to the mixing section.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to get wasted mid-day". I didn't need to turn my head to know who it was. I'd recognize his voice anywhere. "What do you want? Shouldn't you be behaving like the loyal guard dog you are and be protecting his highness"?

"Please stop Mu Qing". He got up and took the seat right beside me. "Stop what? Everyone knows your his highnesses lap dog, he says jump you say how high". The bartender came over and handed me my drink and I took a long sip of it.

"Stop hiding your pain, at least from me". "Like you give a dam if I'm in pain or not". I took another sip. "Believe it or not I do". I scoffed. "It's true Mu Qing". He took the glass out of my hand and placed it in front of him. "What is"? I turned my head glaring at him.

"That I care about you more than you know, I always have. I know this anger you have is nothing more than an act so you can protect your heart, you were hurt again weren't you"? I looked down. "You don't have to say anything. I already know the answer, I can see it by looking in your eyes. You were cheated on again weren't you"?

"You know nothing". I whispered. "I know you". He placed a finger under my chin and gently lifted my head. "I always have". Before I could say anything my eyes widened in shock as I felt his lips press against mine. They were soft and gentle.

I could feel my body relax as I felt him place his hand on the small of my back and eyes close before he deepened the kiss only to pull away a second later. "Feng Xin". I whispered. "I love you Mu Qing, I love you so much". I teared up at the sound of that.

"Why now"? "I didn't know how to tell you". He cupped my cheek. "There have been so many times I've wanted to take you aside and tell you my true feelings but didn't because you were in the middle of a bad breakup or was in a relationship with someone new".

"I I thought you hated me". "No, never. How could I possibly hate someone that has such a loving heart". "Everyone does". "I'm not everyone".

End of flashback

"He sounds amazing". "He was". He continued to hold me as I cried my eyes out.

Word Count: 922