Short fic writing trip

Adoption fic 12

Were running on nothing but a dream with this one boys. Ill probably go back and fix this eventually but rn i have inspiration, not forethought. Gotta capitalize on it before it disappears for another 4 months

Who knew that needles in your arms and guilt pressing like an elephant on your barely mending ribs made for a really rough night's sleep? Sis didn't, and was rudely reminded of that reality as she rose the next morning. She was reminded of her bones, while at the moment felt full of lead, were quite fragile and broken as she tried to go about a morning routine. Today she was getting discharged and returning to the orphanage, a thought that made her sicker than she expected. She always knew she'd have to go back one way or another, this weekend couldn't last despite her attempts to cling to it. She painstakingly put herself together, with the assistance of a nurse that came and unhooked her from all of the equipment, and braced herself for what she was about to endure. She planned it out; Frank would come pick her up and drop her off, they'd say a few parting words and he'd hand her the prescriptions, he'd drive off and she'd sneak around back to avoid everyone as much as possible, she'd stow away her belongings more secure than ever, and she'd do her best to try and sleep everything off. If she ran into Harrowood, she would just have to take it, because there was no where left to run, nor did she have any strength to do so. All this she had accepted as how her day was going to go, but if this weekend taught her anything, it's that she shouldn't be so narrow-minded.

Frank came and picked her up, signing her discharge papers and getting everything set for her to go, that much went as planned. It was once they were in the car that everything derailed.

"I don't want to take you back there."

"I don't want to go back either, but we have to."

Frank sighed, eyebrows furrowed as he opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find the right words. "I mean I can't in good conscious leave you there, knowing that I'm putting you at risk of getting hurt more. I cant in good conscious leave you behind while I fly around the world and go home at the end of the day, safe and secure, when you wont have that same luxury. But at the same time, I don't know what I can do. I want to get you out of there, but then what about the other kids there? I don't know how to help you find your parents and aid in whatever the police investigation is going to involve, and if me lying at the hospital will really cause any trouble or if the fact that your whole situation is complicated would absolve us, because I can't have you getting in trouble for my impulsiveness and just-" His breath hitched, then was let go in a defeated sigh. "I just don't know kid."

If her chest could hurt more, it would. She was surprised it hadn't collapsed in on itself with how heavy the atmosphere had become. She wanted to comfort him like any of her siblings when they were in such a dilemma, but she knew her words would feel empty because she felt the same way as Frank. She didn't want to go back and endure the loneliness and abuse, something she hadn't realized was so miserable until she got a break from it. But Frank was right, he wasn't equipped to handle her, and she didn't want any of her kids to have to face the orphanage without her as their shield. As horrible of a big sister she was, she at the very least kept them safe. But if she was already so horrible, like Harrowood said, would it be any worse if she left? Maybe they'd be better off, and more families would take them in, if she wasn't influencing them.

Quit being so selfish, she mentally chastised, you just want a way out. You'd leave them all behind in the dust if you could. All you're good for is a shield, the least you can do is be that for them. How dare you suggest that any one of them become the new protector if you left, you want any of them to go through that just so you can go frolic in the fields of a fantasy you wouldn't even get to live out? Get a grip, brace yourself, and go back.

"We need to get that director out, you guys aren't safe with her in charge. The police need to keep in touch with you anyway, get them to arrest her." Frank's eyes lit up with righteous fury, looking desperately for any way to help. Her own eyes widened with horror.

"Are you insane?! No!"

"What do you mean 'no'? You want her to stay in charge? Look at what she did to you! You can't keep taking that from her, quite literally too. She needs to leave."

"Do you know what will happen if the cops come raiding that place? It'll get shut down immediately! I know it's not a good place, but everyone at least knows the rules there. If that orphanage, in all its dilapidation and neglect, can stay running for god knows how many years, what about the places that hide it better? I can't have my kids going to a worse place where they don't know the rules, and no one would ever believe them if the abuse was somehow worse, and I'm not there to protect them!"

"You deserve to be more than a human shield." Frank quietly muttered, but he might as well have shouted it at her for all its impact. She felt like she got hit with a truck. She knew she didn't really deserve anything else, but the idea that someone thought more of her than that was startling at least. It gave her the smallest fraction of hope, but one that she snuffed out like a cigarette on the sidewalk.

"That doesn't change the fact that I am one, and that without me, every one of my siblings will suffer more."

"I know you're worried about them, but things can get better if you allow for them to change. Let me help. I don't quite know how yet, but I can't figure that out if I leave you behind. When is the next housing event?"

Her eyes finally met his, each a desperate plea for the same goal but with different solutions. A thousand thoughts warring against each other, both within each others minds and in the silence between them. The air hung thick in that car that stood parked in the breezy fall morning. Almost like it had been years and as if it was instantaneous, she came to her conclusion.

"Not this weekend, but the next. I need all of that time to prepare for everything, and even then we're gonna be flying by the seat of out pants for who knows how long. Just promise me we wont forget about my siblings, ok? They named me Sissy, the only name I have apparently, I owe it to them to be a good sister, and that means giving them the chance to have better. Don't let me forget about them."

Frank's shoulders released only a fraction of their tension as he made a solemn promise. "We wont leave them behind."

Sis nodded, and they sat in silence a little longer, processing what they had just agreed to. After about 15 minutes Frank finally started the car, taking suggestions for the music, and rolled the windows down to release them from the suffocating conversation. In the wake of Green Day and Smashing Pumpkins, they eased into the ride and held lighter conversation, singing along and banging their heads.

The plan she had made at the beginning of the day had gotten back on track as they came closer to the foreboding building. Sis asked Frank to park halfway down the street, away from prying eyes, and they said their goodbyes, more temporary than she'd expected. He promised to wait until she got in safely, and gave her his number to let him know if he needs to get her out sooner than they planned. As she shut the car door and crept her way to the back of the house, her mind raced with all the implications that her decision has made. Thankfully she managed to be back just after lunch, so no one would be wandering too much as Harrowood would usher them all to her "school room" to lecture them all to death about whatever topic she deemed important that day. She settled back into her room, storing all of her valuables, including her new prized hoodie, in pillowcase under a loose floorboard beneath her bed. She let Frank know that she was safe, and carefully laid herself down on her bed, drifting to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

wow look at that we're finally getting to the adoption part of this adoption fic, who'd've guessed? I fear I made this more complicated that i have the ability to write about, but its fine, we're not looking for total accuracy here, just vibes.