Art Of Hallucination

A Daughter's Role

The morning sun streamed through the tall windows, casting a warm glow over the room. I was seated at a grand oak table in the study, a place that felt more like a museum than a part of a home. Bookshelves lined the walls, filled with volumes that seemed ancient and important. Across from me, Marquess Eleanor—my mother—sat with an air of grace and authority that made my heart race.

“Good morning, Lily,” she greeted, her voice gentle yet commanding. “Are you ready for your lessons today?”

I nodded, though my stomach churned with nerves. “Yes, Mother.”

Eleanor studied me for a moment, her eyes softening. “You’ve been through a great deal, my dear. I don’t expect you to remember everything immediately, but I believe returning to your studies will help.”

She motioned to a tutor who stood nearby, a tall, thin man with spectacles perched on his nose. He stepped forward and introduced himself as Mr. Hawthorne. “Today, we will begin with history. It’s important to understand our heritage and the responsibilities that come with your position.”

As Mr. Hawthorne droned on about the lineage of our family and the significance of the Marquisate, I struggled to absorb the information. The names and dates blurred together, each piece of information feeling like a weight pressing down on me. This world, with its traditions and expectations, was so far removed from anything I had known.

“Lily?” Mr. Hawthorne’s voice broke through my thoughts. “Can you tell me the significance of the Treaty of Solandra?”

I blinked, my mind blank. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t remember.”

Eleanor’s eyes filled with concern, but she said nothing. Mr. Hawthorne, however, was patient. “That’s quite alright. It’s understandable given your recent illness. We’ll review it again.”

The lesson continued, and I forced myself to pay attention, trying to push away the longing for my past life. But it wasn’t just the knowledge I lacked—it was the connection to this world, to these people who called themselves my family.

After the lesson, Eleanor dismissed Mr. Hawthorne and approached me. “Why don’t we take a walk in the gardens? Fresh air might do us both some good.”

I agreed, grateful for a break. As we strolled through the meticulously manicured gardens, Eleanor pointed out various plants and flowers, sharing their names and origins. Her love for the garden was evident in the way she spoke, her voice warm and animated.

“You used to love this place,” she said softly, glancing at me. “You would spend hours here, lost in your own world.”

I tried to picture it, this other version of me who had lived and thrived in this world. “It’s beautiful,” I admitted. “I just… I feel like a stranger here.”

Eleanor stopped and turned to face me, her eyes filled with empathy. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, Lily. But please know that we’re here for you. Your father and I, we love you very much. We’ll help you through this, no matter how long it takes.”

Her words touched something deep within me, a flicker of warmth amidst the confusion. “Thank you, Mother. I’ll try my best.”

She smiled, a small, reassuring smile. “That’s all we ask.”

Over the next few days, I immersed myself in the routine of lessons and household duties, trying to understand and accept my new reality. I learned about the estate, the staff, and the responsibilities that came with being the daughter of a marquis. There were moments when I felt a connection to this life, brief flashes of familiarity, but they were fleeting.

One evening, after a particularly exhausting day, I retreated to the hidden alcove in the garden, my sanctuary. As I sat among the roses, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the scent of the flowers calm my mind.

“Lily?”

I opened my eyes to see Anna standing nearby, a soft smile on her face. “I thought I’d find you here. It’s your favorite spot, after all.”

I managed a small smile. “It’s peaceful here.”

Anna sat beside me, her presence comforting. “You’re doing well, my lady. It’s not easy, but you’re adapting.”

“I don’t feel like I am,” I admitted. “I feel like I’m pretending, trying to be someone I’m not.”

Anna reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’s understandable. But remember, you don’t have to do this alone. We’re all here to support you.”

Her words were a balm to my troubled heart. “Thank you, Anna. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She smiled warmly. “You’re stronger than you think, Lily. Give yourself time.”

As the days turned into weeks, I continued to navigate the complexities of my new life. It was a constant struggle between accepting my new reality and longing for the past. But with each passing day, the lines began to blur, and I found myself slowly, tentatively, beginning to embrace this second chance.

  But I started to question it all when I finally met my father,he sommuned me to his office that very evening.
"Lily",he said ,not even looking up once from his desk as he examined his desk filled with piles of paper. “yes”I replied.
“I heard you were ill and even had memory loss,..I hope this isn't another rouse to postpone your marriage.”He said while looking up at me stoicly.“pardon”I said confusingly.“Anyways even if you do have memory loss you will still have to get married,I am giving you an opportunity to choose a man from a reputable family,you have one month,if I have no results by then you will marry a man of my choosing,I dont need baggage like you weighing down my son's chance in succession of this marquistate understood?”
I was too stunned to speak,how can a father say that to his daughter,whether or not she is faking an illness,calling her baggage.. wow,I shrugged it off and reluctantly said yes.
As I walked out of his office, I stormed down the hallway, holding back my tears, I got sent to a strange world without my family and my loved ones,thinking it will be better as I'm not ill, and then get told to find a suitable marriage partner in a month,then got called baggage by my supposedly loving father ,how am I going to find someone who will love me and I will love back?Huh?. I barged into my room jumped on the bed face first into my pillow.
What if I don't find one I thought to my self,what if sells me to a perverted old man with multiple concubines,what if he sells me to a barbarian,I wondered and kept thinking of the what ifs that could happen to me,than I dozed of...I had a dream,it was a pleasant one,but what was it about again?....