lilies *James Potter*

Chapter 55

It was two days until the scheduled c-section and between both James and Liliena, it was a prickly atmosphere between them trying to get last-minute things done for the babies such as rearranging Harry's car seats to the row behind and setting six infant car seats in place between the large van to Liliena's minivan. Harry had a tantrum over James moving his car seat even though it was a long time coming and went to Liliena to fuss over when James had to ignore the boy to finish the job.

Even though Liliena was fully prepared to leave the hospital with emptied arms after the delivery it was James who refused to accept it. Believing everything needed to be done and finished before they went in and it was getting onto Liliena's nerves with Harry by her feet consistently from James's 'nesting' as Regulus put it over a phone call just the day before.

There were stacks of bottles ready to be used in the kitchen. Three of everything that had been decided between James and Liliena in the living room to the nursery. Liliena's hospital bag was already set by the front door and a cooler was on the kitchen counter beside the bottles ready to be filled with colostrum that Liliena had been collecting for the last months to be brought to give to the babies when born.

Harry was supposed to be dropped off at Lily's hours before but James refused to stop and take a break. Constantly going and going and going. By nightfall, Lily has called three times wondering where James and Harry were and just as Liliena reassures Lily on the fourth time James finally loaded a sleepy Harry into the van in his new spot then moved in and out of the front door making the amount concerning for Liliena.

He'd frantically burst in while she remained on the couch saying he'd forgotten to pack something of Harry's then leave the house for less than a minute before marching back in telling Liliena to make a list to remember to do this or that between small things to pack in the hospital bag that could be missed like a phone charger or to remember to check the pram making sure everything work from wheels to breaks.

"James, can you just, calm down?"

He stares at her wide-eyed like she's gone crazy. "Calm down? Me?"

"Yes, you. You keep leaving Harry in the van alone and it's past ten. It's dark out. You're frantically going around doing one task over the next and I just want my last night stress-free as much as I can before your parents and Aunt Hope and Uncle Lyall arrive tomorrow to stay here. You're not making it easy. For any of us in fact. Harry's been upset all day and you hardly even looked in his direction."

"Well, I'm sorry that all you've been doing is sitting around on your phone doing nothing while I'm building this and that trying to make sure everything is ship-shaped. It's like you don't care at all about this. We have three babies coming and you've done nothing. Do you know how many times I've turned Sirius down to go out to a bar to just relax for the night and let Lily have Harry but instead stayed here to just... agh! You make it so fucking hard to do shit and get things done."

He grabs fistfuls of his own hair tugging frustratedly while all Liliena could do was glare at him. Oh, how she wished she could get up flawlessly and storm off from her place on the couch. "I'm so fucking sorry I can't do much James. I can hardly wipe my own arse but don't worry about me, put me on the floor and I'll fucking get the pram set up on my own by the time you get back."

"Once you're on the floor how the hell do you expect to get back up without my help? See!? You can't even do that on your own!"

Liliena inhales sharply. "You're making it really hard for me to not say something I'll regret."

"Say it!" James throws his hands up at her. "Say whatever is on your bloody damn mind! Go on then. I'm waiting- no, not me, the entire world is waiting for the lovely Liliena Howell to announce something from her secretive life she's trying so fucking hard to keep hidden."

Liliena bites her tongue. She struggles to get up from the couch but she does and begins to make her way wobbling carefully to the bedroom. "You can go stay at Sirius's for the night since you miss him so damn much. It's that or the couch, but preferably I don't want to see your face in the morning until everyone arrives."

"Coward!" James shouts from his place in the living room as she enters the bedroom slamming the door behind herself. She squeezes her eyes closed tightly until white fireworks can be seen trying to keep herself calm.

Steadily she gets into bed, already in what was passable for night clothes and curls up on the side with her four pillows and pregnancy pillow to get comfortable as the front door slams closed loud for her to hear from the distance in the house.

Liliena refused to cry. Instead for a long time, she stares at the window with bleary red and slightly painful eyes where the curtains are drawn back to see the side yard's shadowy trees that surrounded her in isolation.

Usually before bed, James would close them to prevent the sunlight from entering until Liliena was awake in the morning which sometimes lasted until early afternoon on somedays from how tired she felt of much restless night with the babies she was growing thanking with kicks in the ribs and bladder.

Lost in thought and slightly sleep-deprived, Liliena doesn't recall when her eyes fell closed for the night.