Lights, Camera, Action [N.H]

24

song of the chapter today is triggered by chase atlantic! buckle up buttercups, the next two chapters have some big things planned :) also, I've never been to Paris and think that i would love it there. i imagine daphne is the same, so enjoy 6 polaroids instead of the regular 3/4.

I hadn't seen Niall since his last recording session, but we had a show in Paris tonight so I was sure to see him there at the very least. It wasn't like we were avoiding each other, either. It just seemed that we spent the past days without each other, a fact I was happy to oblige by considering my feelings were so up in the air. I was afraid the next time I saw him I'd let my less than smart body parts make the decision for me. Allowing us to finally cross that line was something I didn't take lightly, but it was a genuine consideration.

Ever since the night I drank a Guinness, and his hand slid across my back. Ever since the night he took me to dinner, and his hand burned into my thigh. The bike ride, wind blowing in my hair and his teeth poking out from his grin. The pool, our bodies just too close together. And each and every time we were in the recording studio together, you'd have to work hard to convince people we were just friends.

I couldn't think about it anymore, a familiar tingle worked it's way into my stomach, and other places too. I couldn't let that feeling guide me, I'd walk straight into a trap.

I was excited to be in Paris, the city of so much love and made from pure romance. The bricks laid in buildings filled with the essence of connection, Claire and I had a tension between us, I wasn't sure where it came from. We were exploring the streets around the hotel we stayed at, I was trying to ignore why she seemed so tense. We'd barely seen each other much, I'd been so busy keeping Niall company on his recording nights that I thought maybe she was just a tad lonely. She wasn't the type to get jealous, so I knew it wasn't that.

The view from our balcony was too good to pass up seeing everything closer, so we decided to go out for the first day and not waste a second of it. I wanted to be in Paris, not just look at it. We had an incredible view of the Eiffel Tower from our hotel, it was quite far but not far enough to miss. We hadn't stayed a full day yet, so it would be my first time seeing it glow tonight. I was truly ecstatic, I was ready for movie magic to be made, the gorgeous twinkling lights I'm sure wouldn't compare to anything I'd ever imagined. It was an easy top 3 on my bucket list, I was counting down the hours until I'd be staring right at it, the clock hitting midnight and my eyes wide open, taking in the sight.

We walked around in elegant clothing, Claire said we had to wear heels but I felt like we both regretted that decision having walked around so much. We were gone for hours, heels clacking the pavement as we walked around the cemented paths of Paris. We barely talked, just enjoyed the sights. So many buildings lined with cream paint and rust, cracks bursting with vines that grew across the building and along storefronts. We got lunch at a caffe, the waiter was incredibly snobby because neither of us spoke fluent French. We brushed it off and I barely even cared, I was just so happy to be here I didn't give a shit I was being treated poorly by the restaurant staff.

We took adorable and cringey photos, both for my instagram and some for my portfolio. I'd been editing and adding to it, continuing my work for Maddie along each flight when I wasn't sleeping. She'd had zero complaints, everything was being done on time, I kept completing it early because I was too scared of it being late because of the horrendous lack of a stable timezone. I wasn't particularly interested in converting my timezone to hers just to find due dates, so I submitted everything days earlier than it needed to be just to be certain. My portfolio was growing so quickly, I was trying to add in landscapes and photos of the other nightlife I experienced. Planes and cars, lights and life speeding by. I was always good at capturing movement, the way that life effortlessly kept trailing along, speeding past whether you were ready or not. My SD cards were filling up, every time I backed them up I swear I was doing it all over again just days later. It could have been that, or the fact that time was passing by far too quickly. For what felt like a couple days on tour, was already over 4 weeks. I pulled my favourite photos and spent extra time on them, slotting them into my portfolio as an omen to the work I'd been doing and the life I'd been living. I tried to make it seem like I still had a life, even after dedicating a large portion of it to Niall. It wasn't only him, I hoped that was clear from my pictures.