Maddie

Chapter 3

!TW - Intrusive thoughts, Anxiety!

Maddies pov:
I anxiously jump into the black car in the parking lot. The seat is cold and hard against my back. I put on my seat belt with shaky hands. Outside the window I see the gloomy facade of the orphanage. I thought I would feel calm and happy about leaving the orphanage, but right now everything feels the opposite. A weight of anxiety rests on my shoulders. The thought that I will be living together with two men scares me - what if they are like Mr. Smith?  What if Nick and Charlie only want me so they can hurt me? The thoughts are spinning wildly in my head and a wave of anxiety washes over me. The only thought that is somewhat comforting and positive is the thought that this is only a temporary home for me.

Charlie and Nick try to talk to me and ask a lot of questions, but I barely answer. Their voices are gentle and careful, but even so, I'm not feeling particularly chatty right now. They ask if I'm hungry, if I want to listen to music, if I need anything and how I feel. But I only respond with a nod or a "mhm" in response. My mind is racing and there is so much to take in at once - I feel so overwhelmed by everything going on. Both guys continue talking in the front seat. Their voices are like a steady foundation in the background, but I can't hear the words anymore. I'm trapped in my own thoughts. I know they are only trying to help me, trying to make me feel safe. But I've learned not to get attached to anything or anyone too quickly, because everything can be taken away from you.

As the car pulls into the driveway, another wave of nervousness and worry comes over me. Charlie opens the car door and I hesitantly jump out with a tight grip on my teddy bear. A cold breeze sweeps by and makes me shiver slightly. It's almost like stepping into a different world from what the orphanage had to offer. Because in front of me stands a large, beautiful house. Next to it is a small lawn with some small trees. The branches of the trees are dressed in reds and oranges, and the leaves dance down to the ground in a slow, almost hypnotic movement. Charlie looks at me with an encouraging look and smiles gently.
"Come on, it'll be fine," he says. I swallow hard before shyly walking towards the front door that Nick has already opened for me. He smiles softly before I take the first step into the house. I'm immediately greeted by a warmth from the house - a warmth that the orphanage could never give. There is physical but also emotional warmth. The hall is pleasant and bright, and the walls are decorated with several pictures of different people with happy faces. However, there is one particular picture that captures my interest a little extra - Nick and Charlie's wedding photo. It depicts two happy men next to each other. I can't help but smile a little at the picture.

Then I carefully take off my worn shoes and take a few more steps into the house. Under my feet I feel a soft carpet, a simple but unexpected comfort that almost makes me relax a little. Nick and Charlie then show me a cozy living room that has a large, soft sofa. They also show me the kitchen, the toilets and their bedroom.

Then we come to a door that is closed. On the door there are six wooden letters that create my name.
"Here's your room" says Nick and opens the door. I stand in the doorway and try to take in the room - my first room. It's small but pleasant, decorated with soft colors and lots of toys. The bed looks incredibly soft, and on it sits a teddy bear that looks new. Carefully I enter the room and sit on the edge of the bed. I look up at Nick and Charlie standing in the doorway with encouraging smiles.
"Make yourself at home Maddie. If you need anything, just ask," says Charlie softly. I nod and for the first time I dare to look into their eyes.