Maddie

Chapter 9

!TW - Verbal Fight, Screaming, PTSD, Anxiety!

Charlies pov:
I fumble with the keys, my hands stiff and clumsy from the biting November chill outside. As soon as I enter the hall, I'm embraced by a soft warmth. My shoulders rests, and the stressing feeling that has been hanging over me all day slowly begins to disappear. But this place, home, cant affect me negatively. As I take a deep breath, an inviting scent fills my lungs. Spices dance in the air and are mixed with the lovely aroma of freshly baked bread. I take off my shoes, hang the jacket on the hook on the wall and put my backpack on the floor. Before I take a few steps into the house, I stop for a second and just enjoy the moment - the warmth, the smell and above all; the feeling of safety.

When I then go into the kitchen, I see Nick standing by the stove. His red blond hair is messy, like he just woke up from a nap. With silent steps I walk up to him and hug him from behind.
"Hey baby" he says and I give him a kiss on the cheek before releasing him from my hug. He turns to meet my gaze.
"Did you have a good day?" he asks, looking at me with big, brown eyes. I tell him shortly about my day, before asking the same question back to him.
"Yeah. Maddie is doing some homework right now, and I'm trying a new recipe. I hope it's okay?" he answers skeptically. He knows about my eating disorder journey, and some days are still hard - but I also like challenges more now than before. I nod quickly in response before turning my eyes to Maddie who sits at the kitchen table, the pen is moving quickly over the paper as she concentrates on writing something down.

I walk up to her and play lightly with her ponytail.
"Hey Charlie" she says without letting her eyes leave the paper.
"Hey" I happily say back.
"Did you have a good first day at school today?"
"Mhm" she answers briefly and nods. But I know she keeps something to herself. I know the whole truth is not being told.
"Why weren't you at Mrs. Jordan's class today?" I ask uncertainty, afraid of how she will react. Her whole body freezes, and she slowly looks up at me with furrowed brows.
"How do you know that?"
"I work at the school, and Mrs. Jordan told me she missed you in English class." Nick looks at me thoughtfully from the stove, but I also see that he doesn't want to make everything worse. I give him a quick, hidden smile that says I have everything under control. At least I hope I do.

A long, heavy silence fills the room and I wait for Maddie's response. I let her take the time she needs, but right now she just sits quietly and continues to write the homework that is in front of her on the table.
"Maddie?"
"Why do you care!?" She yells.
"I never want to go to school again!! Nick said I would learn things there, but right now it mostly feels like a place to get lost and get outed!!" Before I can say something, she angrily leaves the kitchen and slamming the door to her room behind her.

I remain at the dining table, alone and unable to move - old memories and emotions swarming inside me. Maddie's words, her behavior, make me think back to my younger self. My hand unconsciously begins to wander over my old scars on my arm. The unevenness of the skin is felt under my fingertips, and every touch is like a reminder of the pain and dark days I had to go through.

I suddenly hear footsteps approaching me. Nick comes walking, slowly and carefully. When he gets close enough, he takes my hand from my arm and hugs it tightly. His eyes are filled with concern as he looks at me.
"Are you okay?" he asks in a low and gentle voice, almost like a whisper. I take a deep, shuddering breath.
"Yes, it's just... flashbacks" I answer. Nick looks at me with an understanding look, and without saying anything else, he pulls me into a hug. His big arms are safe and warm, healing all the chaos I feel inside right now.