Maddie

Chapter 14

!TW - Anxiety!

Charlies pov:
After a long day at work, I'm finally back home. I shout a cheerful "Hello" as I enter the empty hall, and my words echo in the silence of the house. I hear footsteps and soon after that Nick comes into the hall. His face, which is usually warm and happy, is now subdued. It feels like he is carrying something heavy. My eyebrows furrow and I look at him as he approaches me. His gaze meets mine, but it's not the same warm gaze I recognize from him. Just as I'm about to ask him what's wrong, he leans forward and gives me a kiss.
"We need to talk," he says in a serious voice, and I immediately feel anxiety bubbling up inside me. My mind races to every conceivable reason - does he want to break up? Why does he look so sad? Is something wrong with Maddie? Sarah? Nellie? Has he been fired from his job?

My thoughts are interrupted by a soft voice. "Charlie, calm down. Breathe," Nick says and looks straight into my eyes. His ability to read me like an open book is terrifying at times, but in this giving moment it's basically just comforting. I try to collect myself and take a deep breath, but my pulse is still fast. We exchange a small, unsure smile with each other before Nick leads me into the living room.

The living room is usually warm and cozy, but right now it feels like there is a weight over the whole room. Nick lets go of my hand before sitting down on the couch, and I sit down next to him. We sit here for a while, in silence, before Nick begins to tell what Maddie shared with him earlier. It's like time stands still around us, every sentence he says feels so heavy, so terribly awful. I'm completely speechless, not even anger can get through the shock I'm feeling right now. My eyes stare blankly at Nick when he's done talking, and I'm just trying to make sense of everything he just told me. My heart is pounding hard in my chest. My thoughts are chaotic and the anger is gradually growing stronger within me. But at the same time I feel a great sadness for Maddie and everything she has had to go through.

We again sit quietly next to each other on the sofa, trying to take in all the information. I take a deep breath.
"Poor child," I finally say.
"How is she feeling now?". Nick looks up, his eyes have a sadness I've never seen before.
"She's in her room, I managed to comfort her a bit before" he says. I nod, but the thoughts continue to spin in my head, a combination of worry, anger and uncertainty. How could someone do that to her?

"You should talk to her, I mean.. you know what she's been through," Nick says, looking at me. His eyes give me an encouraging feeling. But even so, his words also feel like a punch to my stomach. It's so hard to confront old memories and I'd rather just put it all behind me. But at the same time I know Nick is right. Unlike many others, I know exactly what Maddie has been through, and what she's still struggling with every day. To carry so much pain is not easy for any human - especially not for a seven-year-old.

Nick sees me hesitate for a second and so he gently puts his hand in mine.
"You are right" I say, and my voice is weak, almost trembling, but also filled with a determination that grows stronger by every second. It's not just Maddie who needs someone to understand - it's me who needs to find the courage to confront my own past. For her sake, and for my own. Nick gives me an encouraging smile, a smile that says he believes in me. I take a deep breath and get up from the couch, even though my legs feel a little weak beneath me. The steps to Maddie's room are heavy and full of doubt, but at the same time I feel like I have to talk to her, no matter how hard it's gonna be.