BEHIND THEIR MIEN

CHAPTER 34- NATALIE

It was 3 days and the house was filled with a different kind of positive energy and hope. Xaviers cries covered the house with smiles. He kept everyone busy with the constant babysitting. Oliver, Nathan and Mason, all would return home early from work to be with the children. Mason would come and just hold the baby in his arms for a solid hour, like they’d both console each other, filling in the void of Mary. The house, mainly the living area, is covered with toys, ranging from baby carpet, the noisy toys, soft toys to dolls.
Beatrice has been adjusting well. She still hasn’t talked to anyone, but she listens well and has been really brave. Her hospital results were not good. Like I expected, her body showed the signs of the trauma she survived. I didn’t want to take Nathan with me but he insisted that he is the father and he needs to know to what extent his daughter suffered. Mellissa and Nathan waited a really long time with Beatrice through her examination by the doctor Kevin Davidson recommended.Her results also showed extreme malnourishment and that was enough for Mellissa to divert her sorrow because now she pours all of her energy into making different kind of healthy food for beatrice to eat and roams behind her everywhere with a bowl in her hand, feeding her while she plays. Beatrice has officially started seeing a psychiatrist that comes into our house, also arranged by Kevin Davidson.
Life has taken a drastic turn but I still can't help but feel this giant uneasiness settling in the bottom of my stomach. It makes me restless and frustrated. It feels like we stopped in the middle of nowhere. Sure we got the kids. Initially I just wanted Xavier back. I was going to leave once I got Xavier back, safely to his family. But now everything’s changed. I am married to Nathan and there’s a huge elephant sitting in the room regarding what we actually want for our future. Do we want to stay married or dissolve the marriage now that our goal was accomplished? What exactly do we feel for each other? Is it mutual trust and respect as friends or something more. Amidst all this chaos, I didn't have time to think about it even once but now that everything has paused, I can't help but wonder where I stand with this family now.
The next problem is what I do with the information I know. Victoria Wild is a villain set to destroy this whole family and there is nothing I can do about it now because Luke, Cole, Charles and Kevin are handling it and don’t want us involved as we might complicate it further. Luke has a whole family out there that Oliver and Melissa have no idea about. Luke’s little sister’s life is in danger because she risked her life to save the kids when she was a kid herself. There is so much going on and everything is unsettled and that makes me uneasy. 
“ You are making that face again, what’s going on in that head of yours?” Nathan said and I simply shook my head.
“ I just feel uneasy. Like walking on thin ice. The kids are still not safe, Cole is too busy to meet us and Luke won’t answer his phone. It feels like something is going on. Everything is suddenly just so quiet, it feels like the calm before the storm. I don’t like it " I tell him honestly and he takes the file away from my hand and keeps it on the table beside me. Makes me sit on the sofa, takes my hand and kneel before me.
“ Don’t worry about it. You told me to trust Luke on this yesterday when I was freaking out. I am asking you to trust yourself. I know for a fact that you will not let anyone touch a strand of hair on the kids, if there is anyone who’s going to protect these kids, it’s you. So just trust yourself for whatever is going to come, because I am going to stand right beside you the whole time, so will my family.” he says and I simply nod, because I honestly don't know what to answer back to that. To my luck before Nathan and I could have any moment, Oliver comes into our room with a serious face, knocking on our door.
“ umm. Natalie…you have a guest..Your mother is here to speak to you” he says and my body stills. Forget about uneasiness, I couldn't breath. I haven’t seen that lady since she abandoned me years back and now she wants to see me?
As if realising the cold sweat Nathan holds my hand,”You don’t have to meet her if you don’t feel like it” he says but i finally take a deep breath and shake my head.
“ I can't avoid her forever. She’s Xaviers grandmother. Nothing bad can happen by meeting her….can it?” I ask him and we lock our eyes for a long time…as if we both could feel that something drastic was supposed to happen. His grip on my hand tightens.
“Don’t go” he says realising his fears but I pull my hand away from his grip and stand up. ‘
“She’s a changed woman now, Natalie. I don’t know what kind of mother she was to you, but she really was good to Mary.” Oliver says as we make our way out of the room to the common hall.
“ I still don’t like her” Nathan mutters
“ That’s your personal preference” Oliver grumbles.
My steps comes to halt when i see her talking to Melissa
“ Still Mel, how could you not tell me about Mary's accident! You know I don't keep up with news or phones or any sort of technology! My poor baby!” I hear her crying, same as years back, exactly how she used to cry for her husband, everytime he threatened to leave her when she failed to provide money for the drugs. The ache in my chest was increasing rapidly. I thought I would be okay, that after all these years I’d forget all about her but it looks like the little girl in me is still hurting for and from her mother.
“Mom?” I called after her, I thought I would be strong but my voice came out in a broken whisper but she still heard it. Her shoulders stopped shaking as she slowly turned. Her eyes settle on me as recognition slowly sweeps into her.
“ Tallie.” She called after me in her own whisper, her chest rising and falling as a fresh batch of tears fell from her eyes, her eyes so soft, I don't think I ever saw them soften for me. A small gentle smile pulled up on her lips and her whole face softened.
Maybe Oliver was right. Maybe now she is changed and a better mother. Maybe the past can stay in the past. Maybe there is still hope.
I smiled brightly at her, taking a step, all of a sudden all the grudges I had for her dissolving, just at the sight of her softened eyes at me. But just as soon as I built those hopes, it all crashed. She once again proved and reminded me why I had to make all those tough choices back then, Why I never got a mother’s love.
She stepped back, wiped away all her tears and her face was cold and stern. Her eyes were blank, no emotions, and if there were any, it probably resembled hatred.
“ There is something I urgently need to talk about with you in private. Let's talk on the patio” she said in the most cold voice and walked away showing her back again to me.
I looked down for a few seconds. What was I seriously thinking? That she’s finally a mother to me? Why did I think I needed her anyways? I lived my whole life alone. I was better off alone. I was pulled out of my pity thoughts when Nathan held my hand but I don’t look at him
“ You don’t have to go,” he says. But now that I was hurt, I now wanted to go.
“ I want some answers from her too Nathan. This might be the only chance I have.” I told him and pulled out my hand from his once again and walked in the direction Ms. Carson walked. When I reached the patio, she had her back to me but froze when she realise I was there
“ I heard you were Mary’s on duty nurse…tell me if she has any hope. How exactly is her condition” she asked and my heart clenched. No how are you, where have you been, I am sorry for abandoning you, are you happy?.....nothing
“ She’s not going to make it. It’s a miracle that she’s been here this long " I say to her with equal cruelty and coldness. I shouldn’t stoop low to her level but I want to hurt her in any way I could. She fell silent for few minutes so I spoke first
“ What’s the important matter you wanted to talk about personally?” I asked her to which she finally turned around and looked at me, not with coldness but with regrets
“ You saved those kids?” she asked and I nodded.
“ Still haven’t changed..saving others before you. What has that ever gotten you Natalie? When will you ever-..you need to listen to me carefully. You need to leave. Immediately. I don’t know why, but Victoria Wild came to me. You cannot let the wild family know about this Tallie. I was in the meditation camp three days ago when she personally visited me and told me that your life is at risk. That you got involved with things that you are not supposed to know about. Tallie said what happened to Mary will happen to you too, she is too concerned about this family and you. She says you think she did this but she didn’t. She said no matter what she says you will not believe her and that’s why she sent me.” she says and every barrier and line breaks then and there.
“ How much did she pay you to tell me this huh? She told you she is not the one responsible for Mary and you believe it? You don’t question-"I snap at her but she makes one bold step towards me and holds both my shoulders shaking.
“ Natalie! Do you even listen to yourself!? I am not who I was years ago! I changed for the better-for mary! And now I am here to look after Xavier too. You are not needed here Natalie. Why are you so keen to take Mary’s place? It’s her family, her children and niece and her in-laws..her house. Why do you always want to take things away from mary? How would she feel about you replacing her?” she yells at me and she pushes me all the way towards the wall
“ Stop it! Right now, get away from Natalie” Mellissa’s voice came and Mrs. Carson turned to her. I stayed glued to the wall, flashbacks of the past coming to me.
“ You still are how you used to be” I managed to whisper back.
“ What do you want by staying here Natalie? What do you get by staying here? Money? Victoria will give you as much as you want! You are a wrench, a pure family like this shouldn’t get a baby from a filthy girl like you! Do they even know about your past? What did you do for your father? What did you do TO your father? A man who raised you! Who’s blood flows through your veins! Is Nathan aware of the monster you are in the name of saving Mary!? Mary is going to die so why are you staying here! With what intentions!? “ she yelled against Melissa, trashing her words at me as I stayed still listening to her venomous words, unable to comprehend what I did to deserve it. Nathan came running on the patio, so did the others as Mrs. Carson went out of control.
“ Natalie, look at me!” Nathan said as he covered my ears and pulled my face to his.
“ You are going to be alright” he says as I bury my face in his chest.
“ Leave right now! You do not get to speak ill about my wife in my home! Get her out at this very moment!” Nathan snaps finally and everything falls silent.
“ You don’t know about her past-” Mrs. Carson said but Nathan yells at her before she could complete her words
“ I know! And I don't care! I am proud of her in every single way!” he says, still holding me in.
“ How can you be proud of her..killing her own father with her own hands!?” Mrs. Carson snaps at him, spitting out the truth I didn't wish for him to know.  My whole body froze and pretty sure Nathan’s heart stopped beating.