BEHIND THEIR MIEN

CHAPTER 35- NATHAN

Both our bodies stilled. I could feel both of us taken back. She killed her father? She didn’t tell me that. Why didn’t she tell me anything about it? I wanted to ask her the very minute but now was not the time or situation.
“ Like I said, I do not care.” I told Mrs. Carson firmly and Natalie pulled away from my embrace as I immediately felt the cold hitting me.
“ Why?” she asked her mother to which Mrs. Carson looked confused.
“ What why?” she asked, gulping and taking a step behind.
“ I did everything for you and Mary, even killed that man for what he did to both of us ... so how could you just abandon me and run... telling Mary that I was the one who abandoned her?” she cried, her first tear falling out. It was the first time I saw her crying and that very moment I wanted to kill that woman for hurting her!
“ I thought you were dead. Mary was my priority!” she answered, avoiding Natalie’s eyes.
“ Liar! I kept saying to myself that you didn’t see me or hear me. But you saw me-” she cried but Mrs. Carson shook her head denying, grinding her jaws
“ I thought you were dead” she repeated
“ I was lying in my own warm pool of blood after being gang raped and stabbed 4 times. I cried and kept calling your name repeatedly as you carried Mary, you looked at me and spat in my direction, said that you would never let me near Mary ever again and got inside the car and left me all alone bleeding as it snowed. I crawled for almost an hour, bleeding, naked in the snow until someone saw me and called an ambulance. I was in a coma for 3 months with no one to look after me-” she cried and cried at her mother as she finally spoke about what happened to her, breaking my heart over and over for her.
“ STOP! STOP IT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE! YOU WERE DEAD TO ME! I WANTED YOU DEAD! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! SO STOP IT!” Mrs. Carson screamed, while holding her ears.
“ Oliver, tell the driver to take her home at this very moment! NOW!” mom yelled at dad, at the mess that was unfolding right now. Natalie just stood almost lifeless, her tear stained face all straight poker with no emotions, her eyes cold.
“ Why? Why did you hate me so much? Was I not your daughter? What is it that I did that you loathe?” she asked and I looked at her almost begging to stop, so that she could hurt less, but she waited more than a decade, she deserves the answers to her suffering. Mrs. Carson as if sensing that it was time to give her some answers stopped struggling and faced Natalie.
“ I was jealous of you. You did everything better. Better at making money, better at surviving, better at standing against him, better at knowing what you deserve, better at protecting Mary. I saw you and all I saw was my failures. I loathed you, I failed at life because of you. I saw you and saw how much I failed as a mother and as a human.
I resented you, that if I hadn’t been pregnant with you, I wouldn’t have been stuck with that man and my life would be different, so much different. That I deserved better at life if it weren’t for you.
Then came Mary and she looked up to me. Sure you raised her to love and respect me but for the first time someone respected me and truly loved me. She was so unaware of everything that happened because you protected her… I wanted that. So when you killed him so that we three could run away safely and start anew… I didn’t want that. I truly believed that if it were just me and Mary, I could love her for what she deserves, but if you were in the picture..it would be all over the same.. and I don't regret it a bit.
Maybe that’s why it’s all happening. Karma. I took everything away from you and left you to die and that’s why life’s taking Mary from me. All because of you again. You are just what I thought, truly your father’s blood!
You are going to be the same as him, ruin everything and everyone around you-” she said those words and I could no longer bear it.
“ SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I yelled loosing my control and dragged her out of the house, throwing her on the ground outside.
“ Nathan, that's enough! She is still their mother-” Dad snaps at me but I was way out of my mind
“ MOTHER? Seriously dad!? What kind of mother does that to her own child!? You heard her! What she did to Natalie! She is no mother but a monster!” I yelled back and turned to Mrs. Carson
“ If you show your face to my wife ever again, I swear it will be the last time anyone sees your face! Stay the Fuck away from MY WIFE!!” I warned her and went inside the house raging. I was loosing my mind picturing what Natalie had suffered that night.
“ Where is she?” I asked Mason when I couldn’t find Natalie
“ She went to your room… you knew? Everything?” he asked as he held his head in his hands.
“ Not the killing part” I muttered but as I was about to take a step when I heard mom’s voice.
“ She overdosed  that man.” she said and I halted my steps and turned towards her.
“ Pardon me?” I asked her all confused.
“ Natalie, she overdosed her father before he could sell Mary to those men… but Linda didn’t want Natalie in their life. As soon as Natalie overdosed him, Linda sold her to those men and asked them to kill her, so that she could take Mary and live a better life. She made Natalie kill him and she did.. because she was just a little girl who wanted to protect her mother and little sister.
Linda truly believed that Natalie had died ... that's why I was holding off Oliver from calling her or informing her about Mary.” Mom cried, wiping her tears as I stood there even more angry
“ You knew mom? Since when?” I asked her, shocked at this new piece of information, my heart breaking even more for my wife.
“ Since the beginning of her-Linda's therapy. I don’t know why she was so hard on Natalie … she stayed in rehab and in those programs, repenting for what she did to Natalie, all these years.. so I don't understand why she behaved the way she did.. Natalie didn’t deserve it!”
“ You knew and you still didn’t tell anyone? Even Mary!? She lived her whole life thinking that Natalie abandoned her!” Mason snap at mom.
“ It's tough Mason ok! I thought of telling Mary like a million times okay! I just couldn't because as long as I knew, Natalie was dead and her mother was alive. She loved and respected her mother. She already lost her sister, I couldn't make her lose her mother too! It was either let her mother stay in her life with happy memories or live her remaining life with remorse! I chose her present happiness over a hurtful past” mom cried but at that moment I couldn’t bear to go near her. Mason stood angrily
“ You didn’t had the right mom! It was not your call to make what she did with the information. Life would have been different. maybe she would have searched for her instead, found her earlier and life today would have been different. It was not your right to keep her in the dark," Mason said and left the room. I gave mom a disapproving look and ran upstairs to Natalie, she needs me now more than ever. The room was locked and I didn't care if she needed to lock herself, I was not going to leave her alone. She was done being alone. I pulled out the key and unlocked the door.
The room was dark with Natalie laying on the bed. I went to her side and laid beside her, embracing her and pulling her to me. This was the first time I held her like this. We never crossed the boundary we set but looks like tonight the night every boundary is breaking apart.
“ You are perfect and beautiful just the way you are. Her words mean nothing! You are a pure angelic person who’d do anything to protect her person. Just like you did with Xavier. It’s not your fault she is a horrible person” I say to her burying my face in her hair. My heart burnt with hurt and anger on how much she’s been hurt her whole life by her own parents.
“ I am my father's blood, I am the reason her life has been the way it is-” she mumbled but I turned her to me.
“ Her life’s been the way based on her decisions, way before you even came to existence. It was her choice to let your father stay in her life way before you were even born. She is just shielding herself by blaming you because it is better to blame than accept. Her life’s been better only because of what you did for them.” I tell her and she stares at my face for a really long time.
“ Mr. Wild…” she whispers and immediately every alarm in my body goes off. I sit Abruptly and I shake my head.
“ No. Natalie, don't go there. It’s not a topic that needs to be discussed with the emotions you are feeling now!” I say her and she sits up too
“ Why? I mean…. put everything that has happened tonight aside, hasn’t this been a huge elephant sitting in the room? I’ll put it out. You are too good for me Mr. Wild-” she says an I stop her
“ Nathan! Nathan.. Nathan…Nate it’s took a really long time for you to go from Mr. Wild to Nathan to Nate, so I beg of you not to go there. It’s just not the name difference but the distance between us.” I say and as I move closer to her and pull her face to mine, cupping her face with both my hands
“ Natalie Wild, I am crazy for you, madly in love with you, so don’t for a second think that I am too good for you because in reality I'd spend billions in every century and in every world that could ever exist and yet I could never find anyone as great as you.
I know this is the worst time to confess my love for you but nothing between us has been on a good timing, yet it’s been a blessing. You’ve been a blessing to me Natalie. I don’t know how anyone sees you but to me, you have been a blessing that came solely for me in the darkest time of my life. I wouldn’t know where I would be right now if it wasn’t for you. You may just be Mary’s sister, Xaviers aunt, ready to move on and leave but for me you have become my existence, my strength, my core, my best friend.
And before you start doubting and asking why and all, let me tell you. You, Natalie Wild, are a very stubborn lady that gets on my nerves and under my skin, wanting me to pull my hair out, yet I'd still want you before any kind of peace or comfort. I’d take your scoldings and snaps before any girl’s eye battling of beauty. I find your strength and personality way more beautiful, hot and sexy than any top model in this universe and if you were a worm, I'd still like your colour way more than any butterfly. And build you a caterpillar house with many green leaves” I say to her and that earns me a chuckle. I wipe the tears away from her face and pull her even closer to me and she lets me.
“ I am sure I am not worthy of you, I can be stupid, stubborn on useless stuffs, enormously oblivious and obnoxious and definitely a brat, but I promise to change to better for you, until I becomes someone who deserves you, someone that you provide with everything that you need. I come with a lot of burden that is not yours to carry, and I'd understand it if you were to reject me, but just so you know I’d spend this life and all other lifes chasing you and giving you the best that you deserve.
Natalie Wild, you are the most beautiful cherished flower in my garden, the one I yearn to see every minute, protect and love with all my heart, that I wish to show my true mien to. I love you Natalie, and I am not asking you to reply to me this very second but rather give a proper formal chance to our relationship which started on a false pretence to protect our families.
All I want is a proper right chance with you, I want you for me, with all my heart. Natalie, I love you with every beat of my heart " I say, pulling her face to mine and inching our lips closer until there isn’t any space left in between.