BEHIND THEIR MIEN

CHAPTER 37- NATALIE

I slowly yet steadily washed my face and Beatrice as we played with the foam in the tub. Mellissa was right beside me, gazing at us with a sad smile and teary smile. Bea played with the Rubber duck that was once Isabella's, Bea insisted to use the twin's bathroom, which hasn't been used in over a decade but cleaned, frozen, just like their room. I couldn't tell what exactly was running through Mellissa's mind, but it had to be bittersweet and hurting.

" Mom" Bea's voice broke my chain of thoughts as she raised her arms for me to lift her with uncertain eyes. I smiled and lifted her, my dress getting all foamy and soaked but I didn't mind. I rinsed her once with clean water and wrapped a towel around her, getting her out of the bathroom and into the room. I still wasn't used to her calling me mom, still couldn't believe it but she called me her mom 17 times till now. And every time my heart stopped and then fluttered with happiness and anxiety.

I realized that Bea's clothes were in Mine and Nathan's room.

" I'll just call Nathan to bring her clothes. Give me a min." I told Mel as Bea sat down on Isabella's bed to look for my phone.

" No, it's fine. She can wear Bella's" Mel said and went to open her closet, dresses that overflowed the closet. Bea ran to that closet looking at the dresses, initially smiling but then frowned as she looked over Bella's picture that hung huge in the room, above her navy blue bed.

" What happened Bea?" I asked her. Unable to understand her disapproval but she simply shook her head, holding on to her towel tightly.

" What do you want to wear?" Melissa asked but Bea didn't reply. I took a look upon the dresses and realized that unlike the clean room, the dresses weren't clean. They had a layer of dust, untouched. Maybe Mellissa didn't want them to get rid of their smell.

" Melissa, I don't mean to disrespect, but the clothes are.. dusty. She might get rashes or so" I told Melissa in a low voice so that Bea couldn't hear well. Mellissa's eye grew wide as she looked over to the dresses again and gulped, her eyes getting teary as she gulped and nod

" They are indeed. Maybe it's time to let go. Bea likes this room, maybe we can renovate it to her liking." she said with a cracked voice and looked over to the twin's huge frames that hung all over the room.

Bella's bed and belongings were navy blue, her side of curtains, bedsheet, comforter, pillows and soft toys, like she was obsessed with navy blue, and Thomas's was Green. Their beds weren't separated but attached together. Something so magically beautiful that they were different yet together.

Something in me was glad it wasn't typical pink and blue, no offence, but Thomas's green and Bella's Navy blue gave something to their personalities. Maybe it was a bad thing for the Wilds. I couldn't imagine what they would have felt every time they saw those colors after their death.

Their room looked like someone lived in them presently, all their things were exactly the same, except piles of thick dust at certain areas would have been difficult to clean unless those items were moved. Nathan told me no one was allowed to enter this room or change it. But Mellissa made sure it was always clean and not one item was ever moved.

I took a deep breath and called Nathan to bring Bea some clothes. I didn't want to take her all the way to our room in a towel.

" She's asleep," Melissa's voice said as I was looking at the photo frames. I turned around to see Bea fallen asleep on the mattress, still holding on to her towel. Mellissa caresses her hair and then takes the twin's side table frame into her hand and then looks at me with the most broken expression.

" I still don't know what happened to my babies. What they must have endured in those two months. How scared they must have been. No one ever tells me anything, the internet doesn't provide any information either. Their names and existence is forbidden from speaking. The world moved on as if they never existed. They call me crazy for keeping this room as it is but it's the only way my heart could calm down, that they did exist. No one's lost their child, so they do not know a mother's grief for losing not one but three of her children. I wasn't their mother just for name's sake. I may not have borne them but I raised them right off the day they were born. They were my children, my twins, I raised them as mine, never ever made them feel like they weren't mine, or ever felt they weren't a part of me. I was theirs and they were mine since the moment I knew of their existence. Violet trusted me with them for a reason.