The List

5. Chemotherapy- Part One

5. Chemotherapy- Part One

It's eight o'clock in the morning, which is awfully early for me. I wake up feeling butterflies fluttering lightly in my stomach, making me remember what day it is. I hadn't really been able to sleep well last night as I had so many things on my mind.

Today is the first chemotherapy session.

It feels weird; it feels exactly how I felt when I was starting my new school as an eleven year old, in a massive new secondary school. Nervous, anxious, scared, worried.

I quickly get ready, as Doctor James needs to see me at 9 o' clock.

I have a shower and then put on some black leggings, an oversized t shirt and jumper and Converse and put my hair in a messy bun. I decided to go comfy, as I didn't know how long I was going to be at the hospital. Plus I thought I would feel better if I was comfortable.

*

"Hey Em, you ready?" Harry hears me come downstairs and says not looking back, as he was washing some dishes in the kitchen.

"Yep," I reply.

"Okay, make sure to have something to eat whilst I get ready. I'll be down it a bit."

I busy myself by making myself some breakfast like Harry said to calm my nerves. I pop a slice of bread into the toaster and push down the button.

Whilst my toast is making, I get the Nestle chocolate milkshake powder out of the cupboard and make myself a milkshake. By the time I finish, my toast pops out of the toaster. I put the toast on a plate and smother a generous amount of Nutella on top of it. I then grab my drink and breakfast and sit at the dining table with my phone.

I eat in silence. Scrolling endlessly through my social media feeds.

I put my dishes in the sink, just as Harry comes downstairs. He's dressed down in black skinny jeans and a white t shirt, with only a pocket on the top left rolled up at the sleeves, on his feet he wears Converse.

"Ready?" Harry says.

Harry was coming with me for my first session; he said he wanted to be there for me, always.

I picked up my bag which had in it; a book, my headphones, various scattered makeup/ beauty items, some stationary, paper, my phone and iPad, that my parents had bought me for my last birthday they were here for.

"You alright Ems, you spaced out again?" Harry asked.

I was daydreaming again; I seemed to do that a lot recently. Not listening to what anybody says, in a world thousands of miles away.

"Sorry, yeah I'm okay, just nervous."

"Okay if you say so. Shall we go in? Doctor James said he needs to speak to us first anyway."

"Yeah, let's go," I say wanting to get this first session over with as quickly as possible.

We walk to the oncology ward of the hospital.

"Hi, appointment with Doctor James for Emily Smith," Harry says politely to the young, blonde, smiling receptionist. She checks her computer.

"Yep, sure. If you could just wait in our waiting room over there that would be lovely," she says pointing to the waiting area.

In the waiting area there are only a few people. There was one young boy, of about 9 years old, with his Mum, an older woman, of around 50 or 60 years old, and a crying baby with his parents.

Other than the crying baby it was pretty much silent in the waiting room.

I sit anxiously waiting for my name to be called. Harry looks fairly worried too, but I suppose he would be, I'm not only his sister, but his sort of daughter in a way, as he is my guardian. He had been looking after me for over a year now, but even before Mum and Dad passed away, he would always be there for me.