To Hold Tight or to Let Go

Chapter Five

When Kongpob pulled his bike into the lot the next morning, Dean was outside waiting for him. If Kongpob wasn't so consistent with his schedule, Dean might not have known when to expect him. When he woke up that morning, he had plenty of messages from Dean but he didn't read any of them. He honestly and truly just didn't have the energy to deal with it.

"You didn't answer any of my messages," Dean said when Kongpob got off the bike.

"Good morning," Kongpob replied. "And I didn't know I had to answer those messages."

"I mean, the mature thing would be for us to talk right?"

"Alright. Go ahead and talk," Kongpob told him.

"Well, we can't really have a good conversation just minutes before work, can we?" Dean asked.

"It's not like you have much to say to me, Dean. You're going to apologize and then what?" Kongpob asked.

"Seeing if I get your forgiveness and then if we can move forward."

"Move forward to what?" Kongpob asked.

"Kong, stop it. You know that I want to date you. I want you to be my boyfriend," Dean said.

"I don't wanna think about dating right now. Not after what you did."

"This is probably not even about me," Dean scoffed. "Its about Arthit."

"Sure. If you say so," Kongpob nodded. He went to move around Dean but Dean stopped him.

"Don't just walk away. Please."

"You violated me last night and you're blaming how I feel right now on my ex?" Kongpob asked incredulously.

"Kongpob—"

"Kongpob nothing!" Kong snapped. "My past relationship may have been a lot of things, and it may have ended badly but for the most part it was a healthy relationship. Healthy in the fact that we always told each other what was on our minds. Healthy in the fact that if we did something wrong to each other we didn't blame or try to gaslight one another about who should take fault. It was healthy in the fact that even when we're mad at each other we still take care of each other because we don't just automatically stop feeling love just because we're mad. After coming out of a relationship that was healthy in that way do you think I'd accept anything less from anyone else? Do you really think that I will let you gaslight the fuck out of me? Talking about I'm acting up because of my ex and not you, are you crazy?"

"Healthy?!" Dean gasped. "He smacked the shit out of you and you want to talk to me about what's heathy?!"

"That's great. Throw it back in my face why don't you," Kongpob muttered. He pushed by Dean and walked into the building. This time he didn't bump into Arthit and he hurriedly closed the elevator doors on Dean so they weren't closed in together. When he got to the office floor, he found that Arthit was already in his office, looking over something on his tablet. He looked as good as he did since Kongpob laid eyes on him again. This time though, he wasn't carrying a vacant look on his face. He seemed more alert. That made Kongpob feel slightly better to know that Arthit looked better than the previous day.

Now, Kongpob himself must have had a look on his face because when Arthit saw him, he immediately came out of his office.

"Good morning Kongpob. Are you okay?" he asked immediately.

"Honestly no. But can I be professional and work with a smile on my face, yes," Kongpob replied.

"Is there anything I can do?" Arthit asked.

Kongpob appreciated that Arthit didn't ask what happened but instead offered help in some way.

"Give me plenty of work today to take my mind off things," Kongpob said. "Sounds like a deal?"