To Hold Tight or to Let Go

Chapter Twenty

The next morning, Kaiya arrived at the hospital when Kongpob was waking up and getting ready for the day. He greeted her like normal, and even gave her a kiss on the cheek. Though he was acting normal, Kaiya knew what her baby boy looked like after crying. His eyes were still puffy but he smiled as if nothing was wrong. He went to shower and wash up and when he emerged from the bathroom, he was wearing chinos and a blue t-shirt. He called to the nurse immediately and she entered the room to supervise Kongpob as he cleaned Arthit up. He used one of the wash cloths Kaiya put in his duffle bag and dipped it in warm water and wiped down Arthit's face, then moved to the rest of his body. Afterwards, he lifted Arthit's gown to clean Arthit's catheter and private areas. Once he was all done cleaning Arthit, he made sure to moisturize Arthit's skin. Then with the tools that the hospital provided, Kongpob opened Arthit's mouth and used a mouth sponge with a dental cleansing agent to effectively clean Arthit's mouth and brush his teeth. When he was done with the wet swab he used a dry swab to suck up any excess moisture in Arthit's mouth then applied lip balm to keep Arthit's lips moisturized. The nurse helped moved Arthit's legs and arms to stretch and exercise them, then called another into the room and helped move Arthit's onto his side carefully as part of the rotation to prevent bed sores.

Once Arthit was taken care of, Kongpob had his breakfast then went to the desk and opened his laptop so he could start work. While he worked, Kaiya sat next to Arthit and just stared at him. She smiled sadly as she ran her fingers through his hair, remembering the first day she laid eyes on him in person. She was so worried about Kongpob being in this type of relationship but Arthit came to mean a lot to her. She hadn't told anyone else but Arthit had left her a letter that Ohm had found when he went through Arthit's things. She read the letter last night and it nearly took everything out of her. She hadn't cried so hard in a long time. Especially reading the part where Arthit reminded her about the way she scolded him the first time he almost committed suicide and hadn't left her any note or letter or will. I listened this time mae. I made sure I left you something behind and didn't just leave without saying anything.

Just thinking about those words brought tears to her eyes. She rested her head against Arthit's arms and tried not to vocalize her sobs. But soon she felt warm hands on her shoulders.

"Mae?" Kongpob massaged her shoulders.

"I'm okay son. I was just thinking about the letter Arthit left me."

"He left you one too?" Kongpob asked.

"Your man is as efficient as ever at saying goodbye," Kaiya whispered. She patted Kongpob's hand. "Continue working, I'm alright."

Kongpob gave her a comforting look then went back to the desk while she held Arthit's hand and caressed his knuckles.

An hour later, the nurses were returning to check his vital signs and to turn him back onto his back and exercise his legs once more.

When it was lunchtime, Kongpob sat with Arthit as he ate the canteen food.

"It's actually not that bad P. This food is good," Kongpob said. "When you wake up I'm sure you'll enjoy it." Kongpob waved his chopsticks at Arthit. "By the way, I don't know if I was dreaming, or I'm so mentally and emotionally drained that I hallucinated but I talked with you. And you were saying you don't want me to be here like this. I don't mind if you come to me in my dream P, but don't come to me with any bullshit okay? I'm never leaving your side and if you push me away I'll be so pissed at you. Don't do it again. I just want you to wake up and start our lives again. Even if it might be hard at first I'm determined to get us to a good place. I don't want you to worry about anything P. I got you no matter what." Kongpob brushed Arthit's hair back.

"I'll try and find some way to wash your hair later. Dry shampoo or something. Don't want your hair to get too greasy," Kongpob said. He sighed and checked his watch. "I have to get back to work now P," he said looking over at the computer. "Working online isn't so bad. The main office has been sending me specs and economic details about some of the products and I've been analyzing and correcting and creating new specs. It's actually pretty fun." Kongpob rubbed his eyes. "Oh my god I sound like a nerd. But even though I like it, I still prefer production. Well, I kind of want to do both. Don't know how though. I know that sounds crazy." Kongpob rubbed Arthit's thigh then stood. He gazed at Arthit for a moment then returned to his desk so he could get back to work.