To Hold Tight or to Let Go

Chapter Four

"Good morning," Arthit greeted his team in the conference room. "First things first, our boss heard that I bought coffee for everyone yesterday and he felt outdone so now officially we have a coffee budget for everyone in the office from our boss," Arthit told everyone.

Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Since we have meetings every morning we can place coffee orders downstairs and have it brought up before we start. Sounds good?"

"Sounds perfect," Pear smiled.

Arthit passed around the I-pad tablet for everyone to submit their orders. When Kongpob got the tablet, he searched the cart and didn't find any pink milk. In fact, the first item in the cart was a banana milk frappe and Kongpob was shocked. When the hell did Arthit started drinking banana milk? Kongpob shook his head and quickly entered his order before passing the tablet to Dean.

"You can order for me," Dean said. "I'm not sure what I want. You pick for me."

Arthit glanced over at them at the same time that Kongpob looked at Arthit. Their eyes lingered for a second before Arthit looked away. Kongpob sighed and simply tapped the plus sign on his order, just doubling up on his iced coffee for Dean.

Kong reached over and handed Arthit the tablet. Their fingers brushed slightly and Kongpob felt the goosebumps prickling his skin and he was thankful he was wearing long sleeves or everyone would have seen his reaction. Arthit gave him a numbing smile then turned away to complete the order. Kongpob's eyes trailed down Arthit's crisp white shirt to his black belt and his fitted grey pants. Once he was looking at the outline of his ass, Kongpob couldn't stop his eyes from wandering to the slight bulge hidden behind Arthit's zipper that he knew was the outline of a thick cock when hard.

Something bumped at his own zipper and Kongpob blinked his eyes and tore his gaze from Arthit. He felt his own crotch get tight from just looking at someone he swore he wasn't in love with anymore. Kongpob stood quickly, catching the attention of everyone else.

"Can I be excused for a moment?" he asked Arthit.

Arthit's eyes barely glanced at him. "Sure, the meeting hasn't started yet." Kongpob hurried out of the office and went to the bathroom. He locked inside into a stall and took several deep breaths. He hit his temples with his wrists.

"Calm down. Calm down. Calm down," he recited to himself. "How can you be feeling this?" Kongpob knew the answer of course. He fell out of love with Arthit because he couldn't trust him, but as for attraction that was something that clearly didn't go away. Kongpob also knew that he still had love for Arthit. It was hard to just let that go when you've been through so much with one person you loved more than anything. Maybe that's why Kongpob couldn't stand the thought that Arthit had been crying. And the way Arthit was acting now, it was too off. Kongpob could smell it a mile away. But was having love for Arthit and being in love with him so different?

When Kongpob left the bathroom, he found Dean waiting outside for him.

"What is it?" Kongpob asked him.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked him.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just seemed distracted."

"I'm not," Kongpob stated with finality. He walked by Dean and went into the conference room.

The coffee orders arrived five minutes later and the entire time, Kongpob was stealing glances at Arthit who was talking with Pear a lot. He smiled at her but it never traveled to his eyes. Just seeing how strained it was for Arthit to smile and even knowing that something upset him to the point of crying, Kongpob could only think about what Arthit has been doing in the time that they broke up. He honestly didn't think that he would be bothered by not knowing what his ex was up to but maybe they needed to have a talk. Maybe they just needed to close things out for good. And now they were working together. Things were bound to be awkward. Yeah, maybe they just needed to talk. But what in the hell would they say to each other?