To Hold Tight or to Let Go

Chapter Six

Kongpob woke up with a blazing headache but it was counteracted by the familiar minty scent he knew as Arthit's shampoo. Moaning lowly, Kongpob clutched the pillow he was laying on, pulling it close to his face and humming in content as he tried to go back to sleep. Arthit's scent was a soft blanket around him and Kongpob didn't want to lose the connection with it yet.

"Are you awake Kongpob?"

Arthit's soft yet raspy voice made Kongpob's eyes snap open. His headache came on full force as he peeled his face from Arthit's pillow. Blinking several times to clear the fog in his brain, Kongpob sat up slowly. He found Arthit standing by the bed, dressed in a t-shirt and sleep shorts. His hair was mussed as if he'd just woken up himself. His face was red and his eyes were puffy.

"I'm awake," Kongpob replied, his voice hoarse. Kongpob looked down and realized he was in Arthit's sleep clothes. "Um, what happened last night?" Kongpob asked. "Did we...have sex?" Kongpob didn't feel any ache in his back but he could have also been the one that topped.

"No," Arthit whispered. "You should get freshened up and go Kongpob. Your parents know what happened last night and they're going to investigate."

"Right," Kongpob whispered. "Someone spiked my drink."

"Your parents made a doctor do a blood test on you last night when you were passed out so they could determine what drug you were given. The doctor left medication for you to take since he knew you'd wake up with a headache. But you should eat before you take the medicine."

"You were crying again," Kongpob commented. "And you're pushing me away by telling me to go. Does that mean I did something or say something to you when I wasn't in my right mind last night? Or are you lying about us having sex and we actually did?"

"Why would I lie about us having sex?" Arthit asked, immediately getting irritated. "I said we didn't!"

Kongpob just gazed at Arthit, knowing that if he immediately talked back, Arthit would only get more angry. After a moment. Kongpob spoke.

"I'm sorry I said that. But I would like to know what happened last night. Please tell me."

Arthit chewed on his bottom lip. "You kissed me," he revealed. "You asked me if we were going to fuck. You were hard. You pulled your underwear down and let your dick out."

Kongpob groaned and dropped his face in his hands. How pathetic could he be?

"But why would that make you cry?" Kongpob asked, looking up at Arthit. He noticed immediately that Arthit looked uncomfortable and his breathing was irregular.

"Because I kissed you back," Arthit said, his voice trembling. "You trusted me to keep you safe from whoever drugged you and I took advantage. I couldn't deny you. So I kissed you back even though I knew it was wrong. Even though I knew you weren't coherent enough for giving consent." Arthit ran his hands through his hair and began tugging at it. Kongpob immediately stood.

"Arthit what are you doing?" he asked.

"I hurt you again. I hurt you again. I hurt you again." Arthit repeated himself over and over, continuing to tug at his hair. His eyes were glazed over and to Kongpob it looked as if Arthit was lost in his own horror movie that only he could see.

"Arthit stop it," Kongpob said, trying to pull Arthit's hands from his hair but Arthit didn't budge.

"I hurt you. I hurt you. I hate myself. I hate myself," Arthit cried. Kongpob felt his own tears welling up at seeing Arthit in such a state.

"Please stop," Kongpob whimpered. "I know that must hurt." When Arthit still wasn't listening, Kongpob knew he had to do something else as talking wasn't breaking Arthit out of his stance.