To Hold Tight or to Let Go

First time Fathers (One Shot)

Arthit walked around the nursery bouncing a fussy and crying Kingman in his arms, trying to settle him. Kongpob was sitting on the floor, bags under his eyes, looking through his phone trying to find some answers. For three days and two nights, neither Kongpob, Arthit or Kingman was getting any sleep. For some reason, their son had been super fussy and unable to sleep for more than twenty minutes. And now, he wouldn't even drink any milk. Kongpob and Arthit had tried everything they could but nothing seemed to soothe their baby. Now the both of them were delirious from exhaustion and concern.

"He's missed so many feedings," Arthit said. "Why won't he eat?!" Arthit held the bottle to his sons lips. Kingman took one sip and then began crying again, causing the bottle nipple to fall from his mouth. Arthit was starting to panic. He didn't know what to do.

"Let me take him, you try and rest," Kongpob said. He stood and took the baby so Arthit could get a break.

Arthit went down to the kitchen to grab some water and began pacing. Both him and Kongpob decided to take some time off work so they could be at home to take care of Kingman. Things were going well. They balanced their time perfectly with their newborn and with themselves so it was what they both wanted. But then this rough patch started. Their three month old wasn't getting any sleep and now he wasn't even feeding. Both of them were on rotation even through the night but Kingman wouldn't stop crying. After the third night both Kongpob and Arthit didn't know what to do.

"We can't handle this ourselves P," Kongpob whispered. They were both sitting outside of Kingman's nursery. He was in his basinet, still crying and both Kong and Arthit was defeated.

"It's been three days. He hasn't eaten anything and he won't stop crying," Kongpob said. "He's suffering."

Arthit nodded, unable to say anything. He stood and went back into the nursery. He took up his son and began to rock him. He held him up and looked at his son.

"Kingman, please tell papa what's wrong," Arthit began to sob. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong. Please tell papa what's wrong." Arthit knew his baby couldn't say anything but he was desperate and sleep deprived. Arthit bounced him harder, trying to soothe him but like all his efforts, it didn't work.

"Be careful P, don't rock him so hard you can give him baby shaking syndrome," Kongpob said urgently, rushing into the room. He took the baby from Arthit.

"Are you okay baby boy?" Kongpob cooed at Kingman.

"I didn't hurt him," Arthit said sourly.

"I didn't say you did," Kongpob replied.

"You're looking at me like I did!"

"You're tired, you need to go sleep. Mae is coming over."

Arthit left the nursery, upset and exhausted. It was after midnight and they shouldn't have to call Kaiya but at this point only their son mattered.

In waiting for Kaiya to arrive, Kongpob came out of the nursery. "P can you take him? I need a break."

"Oh you trust me not to shake our three month old baby?" Arthit asked sarcastically, taking the baby.

"Don't start with the bullshit," Kongpob snapped at him.

"You're the one that started!"

"You were crying and rocking him too hard! Don't fault me for being worried!"

"But how can you think I would shake our son hard enough to hurt him?"

Through their bickering and Kingman's wailing, they didn't hear Kaiya come into the house. She had a spare key but normally she didn't use it when they were home. However, she'd been knocking and no one had come to the door.