TW: Self harm
Billie's P.O.V
I clean the fresh cut I purposely caused before exiting the bathroom. I'm going through some depression again and unfortunately my method of coping is self harm. I hate that I do it but it's the only way I feel better. Even when Matthew forced me to harm myself I never felt scared because I already did it every day. I don't want Jesse to find out because it would either break his heart or piss him off but my guess is both. I sigh and walk over to the couch turning on the TV. Jesse was running errands and told me I wasn't allowed to go which upset me but I understand.
Jesse's P.O.V
Never did I think I'd be so vulnerable with someone but Billie is changing everything. I really love her and I'm dying to take things further with her. I want her to move in with me. I don't think she's ready but every time I think about her in that dangerous apartment surrounded by creeps I feel so worried. I know she's strong but I'm her boyfriend and it's my job to protect her. I really hope I don't upset her by asking her to move in. I return home and thankfully she's still here. She was just watching TV. "Hi love" I say immediately going over to her. She gets up embracing me. I love holding her small body against mine. "I'm taking you out tonight so don't make any plans" I say grabbing a handful of her ass. She giggles. "I was planning on going to The Myth with Zoe" she says teasingly. "Oh really? Don't you remember what happened last time? I'll give you a hint it resulted in your ass getting spanked" I say squeezing it firmly. She giggles again. "I do remember" she says. I pull away and bring her hand up to my lips kissing it. I notice something weird though, she has bandaids on her wrists. "What happened?" I ask concerned. Her cheeks flush and she can't look me in the eye. "Umm... you won't believe it but I reached up in the cabinet to grab something and the wood scratched up my wrist" she says nervously. I raise my brows at her blatant lie. "Really? That's a very interesting story" I say. "I know right? It was so crazy" she replies still not looking at me. I don't want to think she lied but it's very obvious those wounds were self inflicted. I want to stay calm but lying is something I do not take lightly. She tries to walk away but I quickly grab her making her gasp.
"I wasn't born yesterday Billie. You are lying to me" I say sternly. "N-No it's just-" "You are lying to me and there is nothing that pisses me off more than lying. If you hurt yourself I'm going to be very upset, tell me the truth" I say. "F-Fine, I lied I cut myself but it's only because it's a coping method and unfortunately the only one to make me feel better" she explains. I'm so angry with her but punishing her could make this worse. I say nothing but go to the bathroom confiscating the razors and anything sharp. "W-What are you doing?" She asks softly. "Taking away anything you can harm yourself with" I reply. "B-But how am I supposed to cope now?" She asks sadly. I sigh, "We'll find something to help you but as of now you are no longer allowed to go anywhere near anything sharp" I say. She just looks at me with tears filling her eyes. "P-Please give me my razor Jes, I'm not hurting anyone by doing this" she says. I turn around looking at her angrily. "You're hurting yourself and that's not ok, I'm trying to be nice Billie but you are lucky I haven't taken you over my knee and spanked your ass for this" I spat. "Give me my razor" she responds. I ignore her and take the objects I collected to a lock box. She throws a tantrum and I can feel my patience running thin. "THAT IS ENOUGH!" I yell loudly immediately causing her to stop. "You're not getting them back end of discussion and I swear if I find out you've hidden some or bought more I'm punishing you and it won't be gentle!" I threaten. "F-Fine" she says walking away. I'm not trying to be so harsh but she pushed me to my limit. I sigh and go sit on the couch giving her some space. I feel like I have a right to be so upset. About twenty minutes later Billie finally shows herself. She walks right past me and to the door. "Excuse me, where are you going?" I ask. She ignores me and slams the door. My blood boils and I quickly go after her. "We're not fucking doing this again Billie! Get your ass back here and talk to me!" I yell. "No! I'm leaving and you're not following me this time! I'll call the cops Jesse don't test me!" She spats. She gets in her car and drives away.
She can be so frustrating. I don't know why she's upset by me trying to help her. It's killing me that I'm not able to go get her but I'll give her space if that's what she needs.
Billie's P.O.V
I drive home and immediately lock myself in my apartment. I'm tired of Jesse being so controlling. First he forces me to eat then he takes away my razors. I should be able to do whatever I want. I'm going to have a self care night and he isn't going to bother me. I go into the bathroom running myself a hot bath. Once it's done I get in letting the warm water relax my body. I won't lie I wish Jesse was in here with me I really do love being around him but he's just been too much lately... after about twenty minutes I finally get out. I put on my comfiest pajamas and head to my living room to watch TV. I'm surprised he hasn't shown up to my apartment, maybe he is respecting my boundaries. I end up bingeing a show for hours. It's super late and I begin to feel tired. I start to doze then suddenly someone knocks at my door. That fucking asshole did come here. I race up to the door "FUCK OFF JESSE!" I scream. The knocking got harsher and I look out of my peephole discovering it's not Jesse. Someone's trying to break in. My heart drops and I run to the kitchen grabbing a knife. I run to my bedroom grabbing my phone immediately calling Jesse. It rings a couple of times making me nervous that he won't pick up finally he does. "Look Billie if you're calling to yell at me-" "Please help! Someone is trying to break in" I tremble. The phone immediately goes silent. "Jesse! Jesse!" I cry. He's mad at me and it's all my fault.
Jesse's P.O.V
The minute I heard her say someone was trying to break into her house I hung up my phone and ran to my car. I'm not going to let anyone hurt her. I race down the road not caring that I'm speeding. This is exactly why she needs to live with me. Finally I arrive. I see three men trying to break her door down. I rush up the stairs pulling out my gun. "HEY! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I scream. The men flee instantly and I go up to her door unlocking it. "Billie!" I yell. She immediately pops out of a corner and into my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist hugging me tight. I just hold her and play with her hair trying to calm her down. She shakes uncontrollably in my arms. "I-I thought you weren't coming" she sobs. "No matter how upset I get I'm never going to leave you stranded Billie" I say. She hugs me tighter and I kiss the top of her head. I carry her out of the apartment locking the door behind us. She doesn't protest. I carry her to the car placing her in the passenger seat. I shut the door and go to the drivers side. I begin driving us home in silence. Finally she speaks. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch" she says. I chuckle, "You're not a bitch Billie" I reply. She goes silent again. "I am though, you were just trying to look out for me and I was rude" "It's ok I promise, I know I can be a lot but it's because I love you so much" I say. She looks at me, "I love you too" I grab her hand and hold it the rest of the way home. Once we arrive I park the car and go to her side and pick her up. She nuzzles her face in my shoulder and I carry her inside. She already had her pajamas on so I took her straight to bed. "A-Are you going to sleep with me?" She asks softly. "No I'll be sleeping on the couch" I reply. Her tears are instant and I immediately embrace her. "I'm teasing" I say. She hits me, "That wasn't funny" she replies wiping her tears. I hold her and kiss all over her face. "You're right, I'm sorry" I say. We resituate ourselves so we're fully in bed under the covers. I wanted to make this more romantic but I'm going to ask her to move in with me now. "Billie I think you should move in with me" I whisper. It's silent which scares me. "I-I think I should too" she responds softly. I smile and pull her on top of me making her giggle. "We'll go get everything tomorrow but for now you need to rest" I say. She agrees and lays her head on my chest. I play with her hair until I hear her breathing level off. I'm finally going to have her with me every day and I truly can't wait. I love this girl so much and I can finally protect her from everything bad.
