Dₑₗᵢᵣᵢᵤₘ

••𝓭𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰..

Ana from then stared at the pretty guy over her. What the hell; was she suddenly a magnet or something?

But judging from his face and position he probably fell over as he was playing or just running.

Apparently he had pinned her in the wall and looked as if he too was busy adjusting his brain matters.

Wait wasn't he taking too long?

He finally looked alert.

Then he suddenly stared at her, blushed heavily, then ran away. All Ana could see was the red ears .

Ana from then was still processing what the hell just happened.

It wasn't something that happened everyday.

When Tulsi's voice brought her back .

"You should be glad that it was I that was with you" She nervously laughed.

Ana shrugged, still fazed. As she made her way to Sara's class. To meet Sara she says, yet she knows it was only to meet Suzaku .

Ana had made herself understand again and again.

When she was going to Suzaku's class the next day after talking to him, she told herself that Suzaku was gonna ignore her for sure and he was disgusted by their conversation the previous day.

But Suzaku did "hi" Ana.

But when she sees no trace of Suzaku that day, she positively accepts that they'll never talk again.

Yet she was so crazy. She'd totally gone crazy. She's getting into constant fights with her mum she thought wasn't possible due to her submissiveness. They were of course about eating.

She has lost four kg by the month and she has started smoking a lot.

She is forcing a cut now and then too.

And the fact that she did it for a man's validation is what she can't get used to.

As she was sitting at night, she wondered what could go wrong.
With life she meant. She's craved only excitement her whole life.

Craziness to be specific. Actually anyone in her soles would've thought otherwise. They would've wanted it to be calm.

But Ana knew she can't change the past, the sins she had committed, that no one knows.

And her life is at a point, where she can't change it to be better. What'll she do? Get her mum in a mental hospital? She knows that it can't get any better. So she wanted it to get worse .

Maybe she'll meet up with Suzaku time to time, hiding of course. Maybe they'll kiss. Maybe.
But it was one of those doomed romances wasn't it?

The guy a drug addict, the girl with mommy issues....

Then again they haven't talked for more than a week. Maybe he'll never talk to her again? He has four girlfriends after all.

.............

Positively, she didn't get any sleep the previous day. Over thinking, self scold...hunger occupied all of her night.

She made her way to school, her mind confused . Her over arrogance really was an issue. And she won't go anywhere near Suzaku the next day, she decided. She was standing in the veranda, watching her watch. It was a huge metal watch with denim straps and thick with a lot of gears.
She felt a presence.
She looked behind, seeing Suzaku doing various things to grab her attention. She enjoyed it for a bit.
He finally came and started vigorously washing his hands in the sink beside her. She "hi"ed him, as he moved forward.

Settling beside her, in the railing.

"Say; if you were a Naruto character, who'd have you been?"

"......"

.....that's so gen z.

"Sasuke for sure" She responded laughing.

"Woah, me too! May I ask why?"

Ana said that she had that tendency. The tendency that no matter how many people loved or cared about her, no matter how many genuine or fake friends she had; she'll stubbornly settle over her past trauma and family issues and will always feel alone. At the end of the day she won't think how good today was but how bad yesterday had been. She'll never have enough love. Like Sasuke.

Suzaku seemed to agree.

"So are you really an atheist? "

Ana nodded.

"May I ask-"

Ana smiled and said she was too much of a rebel to follow rules made before her birth. And really wasn't god cruel? When you look around yourself you barely see anything good. If there was a god shouldn't it have been otherwise?

Suzaku agreed on the second subject . He asked her how come she'd turned out like that.

"Well, you know I floated around a lot as a child. From my paternal grandparents home. To my mums aunts house. And I was always friendly to everyone everywhere . I think that made me forget what actual empathy was"

"And you felt someone other than yourself growing inside you?"

Ana snapped her head to look into his eyes. Eyes that started it all. Big and round. Glossy yet dim. Dark and shadowy.

"Maybe"

"Have you ever tried killing someone"

Ana smiled to herself. Sara did say he practiced black magic.

She looked at him, smiling.

"Bloodlust you mean? Yeah I have"

She felt her smile dissolving. She refused to believe she had trauma. No way that's for common folk.

Her mind was instantly swayed to the image of her least favourite place in the whole world.

The dark room, situated furthest away from the gate of the church.

The place of god.