Prom Committee

Realization of Timing

"Josh, I need to tell you something."

He sighed, "It's never a good thing when someone says that."

"I know, and honestly my timing couldn't be worse," I shook my head.

"What makes you think that?"

We continued swaying back and forth and my gaze went around the room. I watched everyone else laughing and dancing having the best night of their lives. I didn't think tonight would be the night that I would finally come to a conclusion, but unfortunately for Josh it was.

"Because," I answered, "it's prom night and everything is supposed to be happy."

He grinned, "T just tell me. I'm sure whatever it is it won't spoil the night."

"You really shouldn't say that."

"Why?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "What could be so bad?"

I glanced up at him and then immediately stared at our feet on the gym floor. I didn't know why I was stalling but I was. I needed to tell him so everything could go back to normal or at least I hoped it would.

"I just don't want to hurt you," I croaked.

"What do you mean?" he questioned confused. "What could you say that could possibly-?"

It was his brief pause that caused my eyes to peer up at his and I saw the realization on his face. He finally comprehended what I was going to tell him and it made my stomach tie into knots. We stopped swaying and our bodies disconnected going back to our personal spaces.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked.

"You made your decision and I'm not it," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I really am sorry Josh."

"Tara you don't need to apologize," he murmured.

"I never expected that this would happen. I never saw Beck in my life at all because I always thought I would end up with you Josh," I stated.

He grabbed my hand and said, "You don't need to explain your feelings. I understand."

"I know," I shook my head, "but I feel like I need to right now."

"Okay, go on," he softly voiced, releasing our hands.

"But once he came into my world everything changed. Yes he made me angry so so many times and he doesn't back down, but no matter what happened I could be my true self around him. I enjoy spending time with him and his sister. My heart ached for you for so long that I always seemed nervous around you. I was scared I was going to do something crazy that would cause you to run away."

"Tara-" he began.

"And yes I know now that that would have never happened," I disclosed. "Somehow you ended up developing the same feelings for me, which honestly is kind of crazy."

He chuckled, "It's definitely not crazy because you're a great girl that any guy would fall for.  I just wish I would have realized sooner. If anyone has bad timing it would be me."

"I really am sorry," I said, staring up into his brown eyes.

I thought that once I told him I would feel like a monster, an awful human being, but looking at his facial expression concluded that that wasn't the case. I'm sure it's hurting him a little bit inside but considering his feelings just recently developed it wouldn't take long for the pain to die and happiness to come back. He seemed okay with my decision and I'm more relieved than ever.

He rested his hand on my shoulder and grinned, "You really don't need to apologize T. I'm truthfully going to be okay."

"Promise?" I grinned.