Attraction

Part Forty Eight

Aila didn't feel remorse towards Sejin.

She thought he was the one that made them break up, and even when he had something to do with it, she understood.

He was trying to protect them.

Protect BTS.

But the suggestion of the contract came from her soulmates. Even as they knew the reaction to the first attempt, they thought it was the best choice and went ahead with the decision.

Her mind recalled the videos she found, how depressed and alone she sounded. That's probably why, because they weren't talking to her and even when she tried they ignored her.

"Mr. Sejin, please forgive yourself. I'm not mad at you and I don't blame you for what happened. It wasn't your job to convince them to not do the contract. It wasn't your job to get involved in our relationship. Please, don't keep holding onto guilty that's not yours." Aila spoke, breaking the silence the room held.

She didn't know if he understood her, but he lightly nodded his head.

"The rest of the story you already know. Rushed you to the hospital, found out the bonds were broken, and we all went our separate ways."

*********

The silence was anxiety and sadness all wrapped into one.

Aila had never sat in a room where it felt so empty.

Broken promises and dreams

Lost love

And yet she can't remember any of it.

None of them do, they are only hurting themselves imagining how it must have happened. Hurting themselves because they are clinging to the past.

"I must say, it's nice knowing we did have a bond. Even when it was short lived. Thank you." Aila's voice rang through their living room. They had come back to their home after finally hearing everything from Sejin.

"It sounds like you're washing your hands from the last bit of taint our bond left." Taehyung's voice was slow and deep, making her almost shiver with how cold it sounded.

She locked eyes with him for a moment, feeling his gaze search the depths of her soul for something, maybe a slither of hope.

"I..... I honestly don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I truly am. I messed up. Horribly. I made you doubt me, resent me, maybe even hate me at some point. I messed with the bond and now all of us are dealing with the consequences."

"So you're telling me you're not mad at how we treated you? Aila don't put all this blame on you. We were immature and seeked shelter between us, leaving you alone. That's not what soulmates do. Even with the research, we should have talked. We should have tried to talked about what happened but instead we let our jealousy make haste decisions....but even knowing everything, we still wanted you."

Aila looked over at Seokjin, shocked he had something so positive to say about their relationship.

"I don't know. It's hard to really know what happened between us. I don't know what I was thinking or if anything I did was real."

"So the videos you found are nothing?" Seokjin wanted to go up to her and beg for something.

Anything.

He just needed her to let them in, even if it was just an inch into her heart.

"The videos stated the fact it was a game. I said it myself."

"But you also mention how it changed into something else. You wanted us. You were falling for us just as much as we were falling for you. You can't ignore what you said. How desperate you were. The hope you had to talk to us. You tried! Even if it was fake, you tried. How can you ignored how your soul was changing for us!!"

Aila felt that stupid knot in the back of her throat, her mouth almost tasting bad.

"So what do you want me to do Seokjin!? I can't turn back time!! I can't change what happened!! I can't give you back the soulmate you lost because it's not me! She's gone!" She quickly wiped the tear from her eye that threaten to come out. She stood off the couch to pace around the living room as Namjoon and Jimin whispered words she couldn't hear to Seokjin.

"Aila, it's true we can't go back to who we were. That group of soulmates don't exist anymore, they are gone. But we can always start again. Have a new beginning." Hoseok's soft voice reached her ears.

They can't be serious.

After all this time?

She wanted to shout at them but instead she took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to say her feelings without coming off as a bitch.

"You had eighteen years to look for me. Let me ask you something, if you had never met me, had never come across my face, would you have looked for me? At this current stage of your lives?"

Namjoon had a monologue ready but her question through him off, because he knew the answer, a reality he didn't want to admit.

"You would have never looked for me. That's the simple truth. Ignorance is bliss and you made your life based on it and I'm glad. I'm not mad. Both of us have made our lives and have gained so much. I have a family. I have my two kids with a man that loves them and a husband that has unconditionally loved me, despite how I am. Our paths crossed and for the first time you felt something not guided towards your bonded soulmates. I also understand this. I can't deny the feelings you seven evoked, the interest that flashed through my mind. It's a magnetic pull, and it lured you in, but that's all it is. You don't want me, you only want me now because you know of me. But I can't give into the temptation. I have responsibilities. I have been blessed with my husband and—"

"You know we can love you the same if not more. Bond or not, you are meant to be with us. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, that we haven't crossed your mind."

"Joon, it's not about you being able to love me better or you proving a stronger love than his. It's where I want to be. Right now, I want to go back to my family. I want to go back to my children and watch them grow. I want to be loved by the one that chose me. That continues to choose me over anything else."

Aila looked around the room, finally telling them what she wants. Jungkook held hands with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung sat by themselves, eyes casted to the ground. Yoongi's face reveal nothing while Seokjin's showed pain.

Namjoon felt his breath shook, feeling like he didn't have enough strength to face the situation.

Aila felt her heart break, with that same guilt that seemed to creep up right when she wanted to be free from their grasp.

"But it's not going to be the same. You can't just go back to how things were." Namjoon wiped his eyes, sniffing as he took a deep breath.

"I know. I can't ignore having met you. I can't ignore what happened. You have no idea how sorry I am now for everything. But we just can't be. Please let's go back and be happy. Live out your life how you planned it." Aila's voice cracked a little, her strength slowly going away.

"Can we.... can we be part of your life somehow? Please understand we can't let this go."

"Joon, it'll only hurt us. I don't want to hurt you more."

"Please. We are not asking for a lot. Just... keep us in your hearts, in your mind. Please." Namjoon got up his seat and walked over to where she was standing.

Her long curly hair was clipped in the back, eyes glossy and irritated, yet he couldn't deny how her eyes seemed to pull him in.

He reached for her, wrapping his arms around her, feeling the hole in his chest settle as she hugged back and snuggled her face in his chest. Her warmth comforted him. It settled his nerves. It healed his heart.

"Please. Don't forget us. We'll respect you and we understand you have a family. We understand he's the one for you now but please.... Don't forget us."