Falling For The Mob

38 Stupid

Zoë

I wake to the familiar feeling of Sam running her fingers through my hair.

Her grip around me tightens as I feel her chest vibrate with a low chuckle. I don't even remember falling asleep, but it soon dawns on me that Sam edged me until I passed out. She will never let me live this down.

Had I known this would happen if I called her clingy, I never would have done it, or maybe I would have done it much sooner. It would have all been perfect if my own ego wasn't so bruised.

That annoyingly cocky grin is the whole reason I held on as long as I did, but in the end, she had me shamelessly begging. The heat in her eyes showed how much she was enjoying it. It didn't surprise me, Sam has always been demanding and a bit power mad, this was just on a whole new level.

After my power nap, I feel completely refreshed, and we spend the night laying in bed comfortably watching TV.

I could spend my entire life resting against Sam's chest like this, and that is just the problem. As much as I have tried pretending, or ignoring the way I have been feeling, things just have not been working the way I thought they would.

Before we got carried away, I invited her here for a reason, and I have put it off for long enough.

I stare at the screen for what feels like hours, as I contemplate how to approach this. Whatever I say, what we have been doing will end tonight.

I could tell her what has been plaguing me, how her sleeping with someone else is more than I can handle. I could tell her that I have been having second thoughts and realized that I want more from her. But being that direct would have her running out of here faster than ever, and she'd probably not want to be friends anymore.

My mind hopelessly wanders for a while longer, before I am pulled out of it by Sam lowering the volume.

"Is everything alright with you, Love? You seem uncomfortable." Why does she have to call me that? I'm conflicted on where to shift blame.

"It's nothing." My eyes immediately shift away from hers, choosing to postpone this conversation. She, however, has other plans as she tilts my chin to meet her.

"Have I done something to upset you?" Her brows furrowed showing genuine concern. How can she look at me like this, and kiss me the way she does, and not expect me not to feel more?

I shift myself out of her embrace and wrap the sheets around my chest tightly.

"I think we need to talk."

Her lips press into a thin line before her formal icy mask appears. She gestures to me to continue, bringing a wave of dread with it.

"I think we need to cool it between us, maybe create some distance."

The silence is thick as I watch several things play out behind her eyes. This entire time, I find myself regretting my approach, but how else should I have handled this. For a few seconds, her glare becomes ice-cold before she finally sighs with a soft smile.

"You are under no obligation to offer me any explanation, yet I still wish to know where this decision is coming from." Her tone is formal, but her voice is soft, as if she is still wondering which version of Sam Claymore needs to be dealing with me.

She has always been rational and values honesty, there should be no reason why we can't end this properly.

"Well, we have this agreement, or well arrangement, where we both get what we need from each other, but things have become a bit more complicated. You and your trouble sleeping and me with my own problems have made me realize that it's not working anymore. Addy told me that you can't sleep alone, and as much as I want to help, it seems that you are also using it as a crutch not to find a long-term solution. This is not something you should be dependent on someone else for."