Falling For The Mob

39 Renegotiate

Addy

"I think her nightmares have stopped, but I'm not sure, since she doesn't even try sleeping without the pills. Mentally, she hasn't been getting proper rest. I know she is trying to seem normal, but I think she is depressed."

My husband scoffs before erupting into laughter. "Sam doesn't get depressed, you need emotions for that."

His playful smile drops as soon as he realizes that neither Uncle Jack nor I laughed at his comment. I love this man to death, but occasionally he can be an insensitive prick, just like his brothers. He quickly excuses himself without looking back. I'll deal with him later.

"What makes you say this?" Jack defensively crosses his arms, clearly hoping that I am wrong.

"In the last three weeks, her schedule has become perfectly timed: wake, workout, eat, work, then only stopping just in time to get eight hours of sleep before she starts over. She is on autopilot, as if she has accepted her sentence and is now waiting out her days."

I try to downplay it to not cause him more worry, but it is much worse. Sam barely talks, even to me. She has always been the silent type, but lately it has been feeling like even the basic forms of communication have become exhausting to her. Her antics to annoy or waste my time have stopped.

Her eyes are dimmed and bored. This week, I have tried pissing her off several times to get a rise out of her and got no reaction. Everything about her is numb, she stopped caring about everything.

Normally, her pent-up frustrations would lead her to kill someone, that version of Sam I could deal with. But now she just walks around like a lifeless zombie. I even went as far as asking Lawrence and his brothers to talk to Sam about the breakup.

They tried treating it as a meaningless fling, and one of them ended up calling Zoë a not-so-nice word. It resulted in Michael having a bloody nose and Derek a black eye.

Zoë is doing no better. She tries hiding it, but as always, I could instantly tell she was feeling off. Even though Tony has no idea what has been happening, he is the one who called me asking if everything is okay with her.

She is quiet and smiling less. According to his snooping, she hasn't been home since she came back from her parents. It is frustrating how predictably it all played out. I still don't understand what it is they had together, they both seem to be convinced that it was meaningless, yet this is the result of their separation.

I wish I could do something to help them, but the ball is in Sam's court. She can deny it all she wants, but deep down she knows I am right when it comes to Zoë's feelings.

She could move past her anxieties and risk letting someone else in, but I know she won't. No matter how badly she wants it, she will never be able to admit that she wants more. She'll never be able to admit that she changed her mind. So I am left standing by and waiting for Sam to completely lose herself, and the way things have been going, it may not be far off.

~~~

She rapidly clicks her pen a few times, indicating her frustrations. She is always collected in public, but for the last two weeks, she seems to hate almost everyone who dares breathe in her direction. First, she was numb, now, everything is met with unjustified rage.

Noticing her own reaction, she places the pen down and returns her focus to Jordan Morris, the CEO of ELLTECH.

I can understand her frustration, this is our second meeting with them, and the third time we are hearing the same speech about their growing stock and what an amazing opportunity it is for the Claymore group to invest in them.