Mystic Johnosn's BEAUTY - in killing.

Chapter 52

Personally, I have only had my heart broken once in my entire life. That was when I came to find my mother lifeless. Dead under the roof that I sept under. We lived in the same house, and I should have protected her. She knew when it was going to happen and made a video blog about it as well, though she acted like she was completely immortal. I wish I could have her ability to act. As a child, I remember my mother worrying about money and take me on walks in the woods and parks where we could have lunch, and we could talk about everything we wanted without worry. If the day was busy, she would take me out later to look at the stars and talk to the moon. 

Now I worry that I will become heartbroken once more for the second time this time by the man that I loved with my entire already sore heart. My thoughts made it hard to sleep. I tossed and turned through the entire night. I was shaking like a continuous earthquake. My eyes became floods. I tried to make myself smile to stop myself from crying, but it was no use. Eventually my body was numb, not a single tear was able to form in my eyes. Inside I felt completely cold. My heart felt shattered, and I honestly did not care where the pieces went. 

In the silence I came to find myself to hear what sounded like sobbing. I grew a bit of curiosity, was it Luke? Was it Scott? Was my brain simply making me think things were happening that weren't actually there? 

I took a moment to think, before going to any action. I threw on a hoodie and made my way downstairs taking each step slowly. I saw Scott, he was sitting near the fireplace, he was sitting with his head in his hands. It wasn't until I saw tears on his cheeks glistening in the fire light, that my own tears began to form once again, as if I only had paused any emotion I had in that moment.  

"Why are you down here?" As I asked this he jumped as if my voice surprised. "I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you saw me.."
"I didn't and I was just trying to think of a place where I could go, I don't want to annoy you any longer." 

"You don't annoy me." Scott dropped to his knees Infront of me.. 

"Get up.." 

He did as I asked, standing in front of me with slumped shoulders and a sad, sorrowed expression upon his face. He closed his eyes and it, took me a short second to realize he had his bags already packed and beside the chair in the living room. 

"I have been mapping where I can go, I just don't want to leave. Though I need to leave." 

My heart started to scream. I wished that he wouldn't leave, but how am I supposed to keep living my life in a roller coaster of emotions for a single relationship? How am I supposed to look at someone who I tend to find myself hard to look at knowing I know less and less about this man and his secrets? I loved him.. But I also loathed him in one single moment.