𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐄 || 𝐉𝐉𝐊

chapter twenty-nine

-#[Another week later]:[night]:

My heart sank as I realized it had been two weeks since that night, and I hadn't caught a single glimpse of Jungkook. I don't know why but somehow it hurts...very deeply realizing that this can't just be a mere coincidence... and he was intentionally avoiding me. I tried to shake off this feeling multiple times, but it still lingered, like a constant ache in my chest.

I felt so desperate to see him, that I even started waking up early, hoping to catch him before he left for work. But he seemed to be avoiding me at all costs, leaving earlier than usual or not returning home at all...

The memory of my words that day haunted me: "I hate you. I don't want to see you again...get out...get out right now!"

I clutched the pillow tightly, pulling my legs up as I lay in bed, surrounded by the dim glow of the room. I didn't mean them...I didn't mean it when I said that I hated him....I didn't mean any of that....it was my anger and frustration...

The silence became oppressive, and the only feeling that crept within me was lost and alone, it's not like I've never been alone but the loneliness that I was feeling this time was breaking me.

"I told him I don't want to see him again..." I whispered to myself, the words echoing in my mind like a haunting refrain.

Despite the wrongs of that day, my heart felt heavier at the thought that what if Jungkook might have taken my words to heart? What if he never showed up in front of me again? What if he...disappeared from my life forever?

My grip on the pillow tightened, my nails digging into the fabric as my heart sank deeper into despair. An empty feeling hollowed out my chest, as if I was losing something precious, something I couldn't afford to lose. I felt like I was silently watching it drift away, powerless to stop it.

Unknowingly, tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I lay there, frozen in a mix of fear, regret, and longing.

I couldn't define how I was feeling right now....I have grown so used to his presence around me that now imagining even a day without seeing him felt unbearable.

I once loathed him with every fiber of my being at the beginning because of the cold treatment he gave me. Even before I had met him, I had sworn off the idea of love, knowing it only made me feel vulnerable. I resented the idea of relying on someone, fearing they'd eventually break my trust.

I had so many issues that I even worked tirelessly to repay the debt and annul our marriage. This marriage meant nothing to me as well but just a roleplay.

But then, something shifted. Then he started showing care, showing how it feels to rely on someone, how it feels to have a shoulder to cry on...how it feels when you have someone by your side when you are at your lowest so they can just hug you and...and make you feel it's going to be alright...everything is going to be okay as long as I've him by my side...he gave me all the reason to believe in all that...

But now, when I have finally started embracing these feelings, to let love in...when I have finally started relying on him, trusting him...he wants to vanish without a word? All because I told him to leave?

Can't he think for himself? Can't he see that it wasn't his touch that repulsed me, but the possessiveness he showed at the time? He wanted to own me, not love me. Is that really so hard to understand?

At the very least, he should be here apologizing, and explaining himself. And not just vanishing into thin air, leaving me with nothing but indifference.

Is this really how he'll...leave me?

The thought consumed me, leaving me feeling isolated, unloved, and helpless. Do I deserve this, Jungkook? I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face as I clutched the pillow to my chest.