Risking it all (Lando Norris)

Chapter 18

Lily

The soft hum of the heater was the only sound in my house as I sat curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. The weight of the past few days pressed heavily on my chest, and no matter how hard I tried to push it away, the tears kept coming. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, frustrated that I couldn't seem to hold it together.

Why did it hurt so much? Lando and I were never supposed to be anything more than coworkers. But somewhere along the way, my feelings had blurred those lines, and now, it felt like my heart was being ripped apart.

I sniffled, pulling the blanket tighter around myself. I couldn't stop thinking about how distant he'd been, how he'd ignored me completely when Olivia arrived. It was like I didn't even exist, like everything we had shared meant nothing to him. And maybe it didn't. Maybe I was just fooling myself into believing there was something more between us.

My phone buzzed on the coffee table, and I glanced at it, half-hoping it was Lando, but of course, it wasn't. Just another work email, another reminder that I had to get up, get dressed, and face the day. But the thought of going to work, of seeing him, was almost too much to bear. I didn't know if I could do it, didn't know if I could plaster on a smile and pretend like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

What if he was with Olivia? The thought made my stomach twist. Seeing them together yesterday had been bad enough; I wasn't sure I could handle it again. I pressed my hands to my face, trying to hold back another wave of tears. I hated feeling like this, hated that I was letting him get to me like this.

I should have known better, should have kept my distance, but it was too late now. My feelings for Lando had grown too deep, too real, and now I was paying the price for it. And the worst part was, I didn't even know if he cared. If he knew how much this was tearing me apart.

The thought of calling in sick crossed my mind, of just staying home and avoiding the whole mess. But that wasn't like me. I wasn't the type to back down, to hide from my problems. I needed to go to work, needed to face whatever was waiting for me. Even if it meant seeing Lando with someone else, even if it meant pretending like I wasn't falling apart inside.

But as I sat there, the tears still streaming down my face, I wasn't sure I had the strength to do it. How was I supposed to face him when just the thought of it made my heart ache? How was I supposed to keep going when everything felt so wrong?

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I needed to pull it together, needed to find a way to get through this. But as much as I tried to convince myself that I could handle it, the truth was, I was terrified. Terrified of what would happen next, terrified of losing Lando for good.

And as much as I wanted to stay here, wrapped in the safety of my house, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever. Eventually, I would have to face him, face whatever was happening between us. But right now, all I could do was sit here and cry, letting the tears fall until there was nothing left.

...

I stepped out of my car, feeling the chill of the morning air bite at my skin. The McLaren Technology Centre loomed ahead, its sleek, modern design somehow feeling more intimidating today. Normally, the building filled me with a sense of purpose, a place where I knew my role and played it well. But today, it felt like a fortress, and I was an intruder trying to blend in unnoticed.

My eyes stung as the cold wind brushed against them, a cruel reminder of how swollen and puffy they must look. No amount of concealer could hide the evidence of last night's tears. I had spent hours awake, replaying every moment of the past few days, every interaction with Lando, every decision I'd made, and the constant gnawing worry about Zak's words. I had tried to hold it together, but it felt like everything was slipping through my fingers.