UPSIDE DOWN

~ 27 ~

Matteo 

I cannot explain the emotions running through my head when I saw Sylvie on the bed, almost unconscious. 

I saw the damage they had done to her, a lone tear rolling down her eye as I wrapped a blanket around her before removing the restraints. 

I keep remembering the look she gave me, like she thought I was a dream of some sorts. 

Every second that I spent looking at her in that condition, my heart broke a little, piece by piece until there was a void left. 

Every emotion hit me like a wave when I held her body through the ride to the hospital, all the fears came and collided against me and physically I felt paralyzed for a minute. 

I couldn't bear the thought of loosing my sister, I've been through the same turmoil when Luca was kidnapped. I can't bear knowing I failed someone again. 

Fear creeps into my brain, the fear of Sylvie fading away so I just hold on as tight as possible until we reach the hospital and she's whisked away from my arms by doctors.

It's like I forgot to breathe for a minute until someone shakes me awake from the shear blanket of fear coating my mind. 

And after listening to the words of the doctor, my brain gets clogged and the same fear keeps running through my mind in spirals. 

I had always heard the phrase 'getting lost within your own mind' and today, I feel it. 

I feel so trapped into that fear to process anything else going on around me, and I'm sure that everyone else feels the same. 

Sylvie, that little soul, my lifeline, has been through so much shit in her life, always one or the other thing constantly going on around her. 

The moment we thought she'd get a little break from everything and it all goes away. 

Sylvie

I feel numb, like every emotion in my body has been erased. 

I don't feel anything but fear, fear of things repeating, fear loosing all that's happening right now, fear of everything. 

And nothing is helping me calm down, the more I try to express what I feel, the more I feel trapped within myself. 

The constant feeling of being wrapped up in a cage with no air supply in it. 

Every part of my body is focused on just breathing, I feel every breath enter by body, and every breath leave. 

"Hey" I hear Oscar's voice as I snap out of my thoughts. I offer him the best smile I can muster up in the moment. 

"I got you some chocolate pudding" He said before placing it down next to me and nervously rubbing his palms. 

"Thanks" I reply. 

There was one weak moment when I was taken away, when I thought about him. And the fear of losing him started to set into me. 

Even though we've known eachother for so less time, but he's starting to mean a lot to me. 

But the past few hours changes everything, it changes every emotion. 

He deserves so much better then me. 

"Can I hold your hand?" He asks softly, taking a seat next to my bed. "Yeah of course" I reply, it's just Oscar, it's ok. 

He gently places his hand in mine and holds me like I'm made of glass and can shatter any minute, and then he looks at me with those eyes. That same green eyes that I fell for when I first saw him.